Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask about your fav Mumsnet cliches

811 replies

HeidiHaughton · 06/02/2021 15:29

Ltb being mine.

OP posts:
sunshineandshowers21 · 06/02/2021 20:19

all the strapping six foot something rugby playing sons and the tall willowy supermodel (but oh so humble they don’t even know it) daughters 🙄

mother in laws being made out to be she devils for something that people wouldn’t bat an eyelid at if it was their own mother.

people jumping on unpopular opinions threads to just be downright nasty to people who dare to be fat or poor.

all the faux wide eyed innocence acts.

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 06/02/2021 20:21

Anyone asking a friend for a favour is not your friend but a CF

Any request for help must be firmly denied, or charged above the market rate.

rawalpindithelabrador · 06/02/2021 20:21

'surely'.

Don't have childcare? Surely you have someone who can do it. No money. 'Surely' you can get it from someone. Surely you have someone you can stay with. Surely you can move. Surely anyone who uses this word can STFU.

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 06/02/2021 20:22

Everyone works a 9 to 5 job, must be having tea with the kids at 5:30

and the "evening routine" with children is a 2-adults job.

Any partner at work or doing some sport is a CF, lying to avoid the chores and a bad parent.

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 06/02/2021 20:24

Every woman must be a size 14 or above. Anyone pretending to be otherwise is lying and delusional.

Anyone struggling to find clothes in high street stores because they are small is goady.

Anyone who pretends to enjoy exercise is lying.

Bluetonic41 · 06/02/2021 20:24

'Gentle hugs' sets my teeth on edge!

1Morewineplease · 06/02/2021 20:25

@lalafafa

howling Roast with one leg, I serve it with at least three veg, potatoes, parsnips, stuffing, yorkies and bread sauce. Another meal with other leg, often chicken and veg curry, chicken would make up a third of the content of the curry at most, served with a carb (rice or naan). Another meal, stir fry, risotto or casserole, again a third at most, using one breast. Ditto the other breast Ditto the bits. Bones for stock which I'll use to make soup.

I use Tesco Value/Asda Smartprice chicken. I've read all the bumf about chicken, and don't believe free range from a supermarket buys you a better product. nor a better treated one.

I think you need to buy a Hugh Fearnly whatsuphisarse for that, and it costs too much.

You will see that the meat is a very small part of our meal, and that's how I stretch it so far.

I'm not saying anyone else should, but you can't say a chicken doesn't go far if you eat half to yourself for one meal, same as I can't say one does go far to fill you up.

I prefer to eke it out, and use it as a flavour, rather than a filler. A trick I learned in South East Asia.

Brilliant!
Staffy1 · 06/02/2021 20:26

@sophiasnail

Anyone who trusts their partner is clearly deluded.
Yes, no matter what the partner does, there are always people convinced they are having an affair. "My partner looked out the window this morning". "Sorry OP, he's at it with the woman across the road".
ShrikeAttack · 06/02/2021 20:30

Ah yes, 'All men use porn'.

They really don't, and I do find it quite sad that women believe that.

Moominmama5 · 06/02/2021 20:30

‘I’ve been on mumsnet for sooo long (penis beaker / Pom Bear)’.

Nohomemadecandles · 06/02/2021 20:33

Competitive under eating - especially when the poster mentions nibbling.

rawalpindithelabrador · 06/02/2021 20:34

Penis beaker was the most made up shite thread.

ShrikeAttack · 06/02/2021 20:38

Well there's competitive under-eating and competitive over-eating @Nohomemadecandles.

Either a piece of pizza is entirely sufficient when eaten with a huge salad, or, when a Domino's is ordered, if you don't eat a large one to yourself with sides, you're denying yourself and have an eating disorder.

No-one ever has about three slices of pizza, and maybe a bit of a side-order. Because that's just what they want to eat.

TheMoth · 06/02/2021 20:38

Tinkly laugh
Head tilt
No? At the end of a sentence to denote the speaker is utterly amazed at your stupidity.
Bad form. But that's my wc chip triggered by phrases from all the Enid Blyton I read as a kid.

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 06/02/2021 20:39

I love all the pretend psychiatrists who rock up to shout narcissist about any unsavoury behaviour

MrsSimonBasset · 06/02/2021 20:49

Everyone in London and the South East doesn’t start having babies until they get to 45yrs old. It’s terribly uncouth to have them any earlier.

Apparently only women north of the Watford Gap have kids in their 20s and 30s Grin.

Winterfellismyhome · 06/02/2021 20:49

"Well ive asked DH and he said..."

No-one cares what your husband thinks

ShrikeAttack · 06/02/2021 20:50

So many narcs @HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee.

Especially MiL narcs, they're endemic.

Maybe some people are just dicks, and maybe some people are just different from you in how they live. People are complex individuals, some of them are best streered clear of, and may be truly dangerous and damaging.

Some of them might just be imperfect people trying to get on the best they can, and they may need to be given allowances to make them happy. And that's OK.

I'm not excusing any abusive behaviour, I am saying, maybe your MiL isn't a narc. Maybe she just loves her son and grandchild.

(Not a MiL or a grandmother before anyone jumps on me, my children are teens. I've just seen bad dynamics play out many times).

GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom · 06/02/2021 20:57

Posters who "can't understand" very very simple ideas.

I get it, you are superior to people who do these things, and you're trying to imply that they are so far beneath you as to be utterly incomprehensible to someone as refined and wonderful as you are. But when you tell us that you "have never understood Christmas Eve boxes/microwave meals/cake smashes", you don't look like an aesthete with noble concerns. You look like a halfwit.

Doomsdayiscoming · 06/02/2021 21:01

“They can just shield whilst we go back to normal”

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 06/02/2021 21:03

Ahh yes the my dh says.listen up unless your dh is Obama I’m not interested
Dh says is awful it smacks of man has spoken you wee women

Twattergy · 06/02/2021 21:05

"Gosh"
And deep misunderstanding of covid related statistics, e.g. this vaccine is 67% effective = oh no ! 33% of people are going to DIE of covid

LadyLolaRuben · 06/02/2021 21:07

Cock lodger 🤣

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 06/02/2021 21:08

"You have a DH problem."

RedLlama · 06/02/2021 21:09

No mumsnet users ever answer the door apparently