To ask about your fav Mumsnet cliches

[HeidiHaughton]

Ltb being mine.

Ex was a narc.

I married a narc.

Grim.

Should I report it?

I'd be wanting to.know...

My child got 27 A grades at A level. Is that good?

@RBKB

'DH is a very high earner' -thanks for that 🤣

He makes 38k a year.

If a man is dating a younger woman: grim.

If a woman is dating a younger man: go for it, just enjoy it!

These are too funny 🤣

Ducks in a row always makes me laugh. I have some unusual ducks on a shelf in one room, and they are all in a row., so I am ready for anything at all times !.

On a more serious note, I've often wondered how many perfectly viable marriages that have just been going through a bit of a rocky patch but we're perfectly salvageable have ended as a result of terrible advice on MN and comments of the type mentioned on this thread - LTB, you have a DH problem, cocklodger etc

Judgy pants seem to be in decline, they were always being hoicked along with pearl being clutched.

Mornington crescent, someone asks the rules, the rules are explained but they cannot play because they do not understand the rules.

All teachers are shit and bully every child who has a parent on MN.

I've been with my partner for a month. He moved in last week. My kids ADORE him.

Sailing through the menopause.

Centre Parcs is anal sex.

Oh behave

@DolphinFC

If a man is dating a younger woman: grim.

If a woman is dating a younger man: go for it, just enjoy it!

The heart wants what the heart wants.

“Well I, personally, could never LIVE OFF A MAN..,”

(said to any woman with a vaguely normal husband who doesn’t kick his wife back into the workplace at the earliest possible opportunity)

“We have our equal spends...”

"It sounds like autism." MNers' go-to condition that explains anything and everything.

On any thread about having another child...

"The planet doesn't need anymore people"

"Having a child is a selfish act"

A new one I’ve seen cropping up recently is “critical thinking”.

Posters talking about applying “critical thinking skills” to various situations.

Presumably these posters have adopted the phrase in an attempt to sound cleverer than their fellow Mumsnetters. It always makes me laugh anyway.

X has an agenda

"What's your definition of woman OP?"

I would never ever look at a partners search history/messages

I think you might lovely if the circumstances meant you were very suspicious of someone’s behaviour being not acceptable to you , if it affected your life and you were married/lived with them— — you just haven’t been in that position yet!!!

Where no matter the contents of the original post, someone will soon be along to contradict it.

"My dad just shot my dog!"
"Well, dogs can be quite loud and honestly, your dad probably has a valid point. You shouldn't be so rude."
"My dad just shot my DH and buried him under the patio!"
"Consider is a bonus - you have some fun family stories to tell and can get on Tinder and live a little! Really, you need to be less pessimistic."

@bleachblondemom

When someone posts about a minor inconvenience in their marriage and the comments are like YOU NEED TO LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND RIGHT NOW

It'd be nice to see a minor inconvenience one, to be honest, to break up the multiple posts of violence towards partners, children and babies we get instead.

There was the one who got grumpy at his best friend hitting on his wife, the OP, but the OP was a bit "tee hee, silly friend with a crush, but still... I mean, I'd never..." Most were on the side of the DH.

Log it with 111.

Oh and that all family at all times is family money. Everything else is financially abusive

@LuxOlente I posted a ‘minor inconvenience’ one and the amount of replies I got that were like well you need to leave your husband then 😂😂 it want even DH doing anything it was me. And I’ve seen a few others recently. Major overreactions 😆