To ask about your fav Mumsnet cliches

[HeidiHaughton]

Ltb being mine.

Mn aversion to maintaining your own money,apparently it’s a flat mate relationship
If you dare to have financial autonomy and don’t split every bill you’re in an unstable relationship

@Winterfellismyhome

"Well ive asked DH and he said..."

No-one cares what your husband thinks

Yes this. In spades. No-one cares what the man says

I really enjoy the people who are revolted by the word vulva, the ‘all men definitely watch poem’ people, and the ‘you give your DC a banana? Think of the sugar!’ people.

All men watch poem ahh yes Keats,Wilde,Plath it’s filthy😉

I really, really dislike people still thinking it's funny to use terms like 'wank badger' and 'cock puffin' or whatever it is. Makes me cringe when I see it

I came here to post this- the double-barrelled made-up insults. Cock womble. Wank badger. Wank puffin. Twat badger.

In all my years on the internet I have never seen these type of names elsewhere.

'nothing to add, but didn't want to read and run'

why bother?

I don’t care what anyone says their dp thinks,he gets an account and posts like the rest of us. None of this a man has pronounced via his missus

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee

All men watch poem ahh yes Keats,Wilde,Plath it’s filthy😉

Trying to equate being a SAHM to full time job. It’s absolutely not the same as working to earn a living.
Picking faults in the way grandparents look after their children. Well it was good enough for you and the child’s father, but now they’re no longer good at looking after your children. And if it’s so bad, why are you letting them do it in the first place.
Saying that MN is obsessed with class. It’s only threads like these where people bring this. In reality no one is more obsessed with class than the people who think that everyone is else is obsessed with class.

The overconpetitiveness over who has the saddest wedding...we got married in a poundworld carpark, I used our sofa cushion covers to make a dress, DH wore his work uniform, I had no flowers, we had no guests, we picked up some doritos from poundworld (but no drinks because that's too extravagant) and ate them.

most peak mumsnetty cliches I've seen
just before first lockdown

" why are people dashing to the supermarket? If we can't go out - just get a delivery....."

Yep🙄

And the whole "you DONT NEED hand sanitizer " thing . That went round. Someone wrote " i'm just going to take a flask of water and a flannel and a bar of soap in my car"

I often wonder how that panned out. 😄

Sahm bashers who are desperate to show that working in the bank 9-5 is way harder than being at home with four under five year olds, (one with a disability).

We see you.

That no one should ever have a double buggy.
That babies should be walking to the shop and helping to carry the shopping home at 18 months else you are lining them up for a lifetime of obesity.
Usually these people have a car.....

The running a house is a full time job crew,no it is not.unless it’s balmoral

@OxanaVorontsova

'nothing to add, but didn't want to read and run'

why bother?

I was going to say this one too! It's so cringey.

“You knew what you were getting in to”

Said to stepmums all the time on here.

How can you possibly know the ins and outs of your life in the next X amount of years?

Bookmarking
Jesus wept a woman is breaking her heart discussing real turmoil and you’re bookmarking

No one ever just goes and has a conversation with their neighbours.
"Next door are building a 10 ft wall 3 inches from my window" what should I do...........

The scripted mn responses that are really clunky and full of cliches that bear no relation to life

@SpiderinaWingMirror

That no one should ever have a double buggy. That babies should be walking to the shop and helping to carry the shopping home at 18 months else you are lining them up for a lifetime of obesity. Usually these people have a car.....

Well said, always the people that drive everywhere. Or couldn’t possibly consider that a dc might have SN. Twats.

In response to "what would you do if your DH of 25 years, with whom you hadn't had sex in 15 years, had a new 19 year old coworker with whom he texted constantly/went for after work drinks/had sex in your kitchen in front of you."
"I wouldn't bat an eyelid."

In response to "I lost my job/DH/dog/favourite sweater and I am miserable."
"Have a piece of cake and a glass of wine".

Not having a car is akin to being Amish and indicative of being a dosser

"OP, you sound like you don't like her very much."

I don't, but I still can't avoid my neighbour/coworker/in-law and wanted some advice on how to deal with the monster.

"Porny" and "sex pest"

Spa day and highlights. Panacea to any life trauma. Surprised nhs don’t offer it