To ask about your fav Mumsnet cliches

[HeidiHaughton]

Ltb being mine.

A UK size 14/16 is slim

and everyone should aspire to reach it!

SAHM are lazy, bored, miserable and sit sorrowfully in front of daytime TV to kill the time.

meanwhile all working MN mums have amazingly fascinating careers paying at least a 6 figure salary, and unlimited time to post on MN, exercise, have a social life and a flexible schedule allowing them to assist to every school event, sport competition and be fantastic mothers - and would never dream of working anything more than a 9 to 5.

Yes Steve because size 16 is average & the majority must be right .

@bonfireheart

Also OP asks a simple question and people get sidetracked by demanding to know if it was before lockdown and all the hygiene processes they followed

Indeed, we need new abbreviations -

BCov = Before Covid

Anno Covidae = Year of Covid
Subdivisions
AC1 = 2020
AC2 = 2021

@bonfireheart

DC always have their parents old, decrepit phone...

I am the parent and I get my (adult) DC's old phones when they upgrade

@SteveBrexit

A UK size 14/16 is slim

and everyone should aspire to reach it!

Any anyone slimmer than that is "thin" and has an eating disorder.

Said average sized 14/16 stays that weight on a mythical perfect diet of 1800 calories per day, from which they never deviate. They might wish to "lose a few pounds" but are afraid of looking "drawn" which happens to any woman "thinner". Very occasionally, when they do wish to deviate, they eat exactly 1200 calories per day and go on several Long Walks, which restores their perfect figures.

OP: AIBU?

1000 posters: YABU

Poster 1001: YANBU

OP: Thank you poster 1001; you clearly understand what I was trying to say.

@SteveBrexit

A UK size 14/16 is slim

and everyone should aspire to reach it!

Hell, I'd aspire to reach it.

Like i said, I'm the only Fat Bastard here. And, notwithstanding that you probably don't mean it maliciously, posts joking about size 14 being not slim fat just reinforce my status as a gelatinous blob slowly taking over the entire site.

OP - I've 100k for house renovation
MN - That'll get you a kennel and some new shelves around here (SE) you'll have to rethink your budget.

Competitiveness over who had the smallest, tiniest, blink and you'll miss it wedding.

People who "loathe" things. It's a hella strong emotion for a baby name or a cheesecake!

Oh and the diagrams. No thread about a parking dispute or problem with a neighbour about a garden fence is complete without A Diagram. Always intrigues me that those mundane threads run to 1000 posts and then there is a Part Two with more reveals and escalating dramas with the neighbour...

Oh and the diagrams.

oh YABU!

We need the diagrams! It's hard enough to keep up with the drama and the DF which could be dear father/dear friend/ dear fuckingneighbour

diagram are the only thing that actually make sense

Female OP: my husband said hello to a female work colleague without my permission.
MN: he doesn't care about you, they're having an affair, he probably watches too much porn and visits prostitutes, hack his phone and email, put a tracker in his car, report him to the police, he is messing with your head, LTB.

Male OP: just found out my wife went on holiday with a male colleague, they shared a bed and now she's pregnant with his child.
MN: Ugh, she doesn't need your permission, why do you have to be so controlling? I do this with my male work colleagues all the time, and my super strong, cool, handsome, rich, intelligent, woke husband is fine with it.

If a man accidentally looks at an attractive woman at work he wants to sleep with her, and probably has multiple families and SIM cards elsewhere.the wife had the right to demand to look through his phone. If this woman is not attractive, it's fine

@newlabelwriter

OP - I've 100k for house renovation MN - That'll get you a kennel and some new shelves around here (SE) you'll have to rethink your budget.

Yet in the same thread someone else will say ‘£100k on renovations?! You could get a new build four-bed detached around here for that!!’

I've just seen an amazing one on another thread.

PP replies 'I would divorce him for that alone'

The crime..? The OPs DH suggested sex while they were both supposed to be working...

Oh to be a fly on the wall in the solicitors office when the OP follows through on that advice...

@sparechange yes what an odd thread! I mean it sounded annoying as hell but there's clearly deep underlying issues there

@sparechange everyone suggesting she get a supermarket job is making me laugh so much, esp because she keeps saying she doesn't want a supermarket job.

My teenage nephew has been looking for a supermarket job for months but no luck. Love how MN think you can rock up to Aldi and say "I don't want to work with my husband so please can you give me a lanyard and I'll start work right here right now "

Oh wow this is a corker from that thread

If you don't like Asda, there are plenty of other supermarkets.

@sammylady37

“I asked DH and he said...”

The all-knowing man has spoken, listen up women!

Even worse is

“My DH just laughed so much at your post/this thread..”

“My DH and I are laughing so much at this...”

Did he, aye?

All landlords are crooked thieves and have no place at all in modern society.

I always think of this when a poster replies I asked my DH and he agrees with me, he thinks .... he laughed

@OhWhyNot

I always think of this when a poster replies I asked my DH and he agrees with me, he thinks .... he laughed

I just showed my DH this picture, he thought it was really funny

(Sarcasm just in case anyone flames me)