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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask about your fav Mumsnet cliches

811 replies

HeidiHaughton · 06/02/2021 15:29

Ltb being mine.

OP posts:
LucasLeesEyebrows · 10/02/2021 19:13

@newlabelwriter

Thank you, that's my evening sorted
Get on there and start trolling! There is already a poster claiming her 17 year old DD would only eat 0-1 sausages Grin
RoSEbuds6 · 10/02/2021 19:19

You are doing some wonderful work on there @Nohomemadecandles one of your comments reminds me of my favourite Brooklyn 99 quote 'What a story for Kevin'.
I don't think we're meant to do a threat about a thread though, so may get told off.

rawalpindithelabrador · 10/02/2021 19:20

@RoSEbuds6

The sausage thread is 'unbelievable' I opened it hoping for some MN Gold and I was NOT disappointed Grin
I got to add that being in Hell with Michael Moseley, at least his being forced fed white carbs shuts him the FUCK up! Grin
NeverDropYourMoonCup · 10/02/2021 19:47

On a positive note, ignoring the penis portions (and that poor teenage girl whose Bangers and Mash tea doesn't always include bangers, probably because the penis owners have scarfed them all), that thread gas just led me to find out you can get pork and black pudding sausages...

Nohomemadecandles · 10/02/2021 19:48

I love the word scarfed

KimchiLaLa · 10/02/2021 19:50

"Get it checked out, my LO did that and he has ASD/Aspergers...". Completely get that this will be the case, but a child isn't allowed to tantrum around here without it being suggested.

Hesma · 10/02/2021 20:12

If you leave your washing out overnight spiders wipe their willies on it 🤣🤣🤣🕷🕸

TheMildManneredMilitant · 10/02/2021 20:49

If your DC can't cook a bolognese, change a flat tyre and sort out the house insurance by the time they are 6 then you have failed as a parent.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 10/02/2021 21:34

@TheMildManneredMilitant

If your DC can't cook a bolognese, change a flat tyre and sort out the house insurance by the time they are 6 then you have failed as a parent.
But if you have taught said DC to make themselves breakfast, load the dishwasher and operate the washing machine by the age of 13, you're lazy and neglectful.
SpiderinaWingMirror · 10/02/2021 21:54

And the inevitable
"I need to go to the shop. It's 10 min walk. Dc are 12 And 13. They have been told not to answer the door, cook food or eat anything for fear of choking. They both have mobiles and the next door neighbour is friendly. Is it a risk I should take?"
This is followed by 8 pages of people quoting made up laws, pointing out that the house could catch fire or she could be killed by a freak accident.

5128gap · 10/02/2021 22:32

@SpiderinaWingMirror

And the inevitable "I need to go to the shop. It's 10 min walk. Dc are 12 And 13. They have been told not to answer the door, cook food or eat anything for fear of choking. They both have mobiles and the next door neighbour is friendly. Is it a risk I should take?" This is followed by 8 pages of people quoting made up laws, pointing out that the house could catch fire or she could be killed by a freak accident.
Yes, well there is a difference between wanting and needing to go to the shop isn't there? Could you not just have done one big annual shop with top up veggie box delivery? Your DC are not your neighbours responsibility. Why have them if you don't want to parent them?
Fuckingcrustybread · 10/02/2021 22:42

@SpiderinaWingMirror

And the inevitable "I need to go to the shop. It's 10 min walk. Dc are 12 And 13. They have been told not to answer the door, cook food or eat anything for fear of choking. They both have mobiles and the next door neighbour is friendly. Is it a risk I should take?" This is followed by 8 pages of people quoting made up laws, pointing out that the house could catch fire or she could be killed by a freak accident.
Don't forget that the friendly neighbour is probably a paedophile. I'm also sure that the children would be in fear of chocking. You allow your 12/13 year olds to have a mobile, haven't you heard of the dangers of microwave tumours in young children's brains? Or some other shit.
5128gap · 10/02/2021 23:02

You would need to pay at least £60k for tiling a small cloakroom round here. SE.

Overseasmom100 · 10/02/2021 23:28

Ahh it's 'The Script'...

GreenlandTheMovie · 10/02/2021 23:34

Every tradesman is a genius who earns "over 6 figures", as in "my DH earns over 6 figures" and will ultimately be created a saint by the Pope.

DeeCeeCherry · 10/02/2021 23:34

"You're paranoid/insane/hysterical/
controlling/a moron/an idiot/a loon

You know...all those terms that people complain men use in sexist fashion when dismissing a woman with concerns

LookofEvaBraun · 10/02/2021 23:53

The pile ons that ensue in AIBU are often unjustified.

Posters who are overly invested and feel that OP is obliged to post an update in the Relationships threads. Like they are owed closure.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 11/02/2021 05:32

Farrow and Ball paint....
Caused a frenzy once by suggesting that Crown cream paint was just the job for a spruce up.
Apparently Farrow and Ball elephant fart is far superior and indeed essential if you have old damp walls.
I lit the touchpaper by stating that I chose not to buy or live in a house with damp in the first place.
This apparently showed me up and I should not be posting in the house and home section.

SimilarlyI · 11/02/2021 05:38

This reply has been deleted

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SimilarlyI · 11/02/2021 05:40

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SpiderinaWingMirror · 11/02/2021 05:41

And the relative merits of leaving children strapped in a car seat at a petrol station. Obviously could catch fire or be crashed into by a rogue or could be broken into and stolen OR taking child into the shop to pay-near certain death in crossing the 10 paces to said shop.
8 pages of people saying they drive that extra 10 miles to the nearest pay at pump because it just isn't worth the risk.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 11/02/2021 05:45

Thread police
What is you Aibu? You should be posting in some obscure part of the site with no traffic (like car seats) rather than here-even if the post it "I can't get my kids straps undone and theyve been stuck for 20 mins"

Aquariussuns · 11/02/2021 07:23

Referencing the UK Lockdown:

‘People just keep spreading their cheeks and asking for more’

This had me howling.

5128gap · 11/02/2021 07:38

There aren't enough public toilets, but you shouldn't use public toilets anyway.
As an adult if you can't wait until you get home, you should see your doctor.
You shouldn't use your downstairs toilet if its downstairs, because there are other rooms downstairs with people in them.
No one outside of your family should use your toilet, but especially not your in laws as they will block it.
If a trades person uses your toilet you should report him.
No one can manage without an en suite. But your DP should never use it. And no one should have an en suite really, as they're a bit naff aren't they?

TomRipley · 11/02/2021 09:13

'My child only has 30 seconds of allotted screen time per day.The rest of the day we craft, bake, jump in puddles and whittle wood'.

OP- care to guess the gender of my baby?

'Surely you mean sex of your baby? Gender is a social construct blah blah blah'

Any breast v formula post.

'Breast milk is the gold standard'

'I didn't breastfeed and my son is 6ft 4", goes to oxbridge and runs two marathons a day'