To ask about your fav Mumsnet cliches

[HeidiHaughton]

Ltb being mine.

If a man doesn't do exactly what you want and ignore his own feelings then he's a complete twat

Everyone lives in a village.

Actually some of my favs are in the formula
I'm looking for an unusual name, defo not top 200. It must have 3 syllables and start with A. Our surname is Smellhole. It's Spanish.

'ive name changed for this'....then go into lots of details
The moment anyone discloses they've name changed you've kinda outed yourself in the process 🤦🏼‍♀️

And the default is that every man is abusive

Boils my piss
That was so funny I just spat my gin/tea all over the keyboard
This should be in classics

Happily using the terms 'chav' or 'down-market' to show they dislike a baby name.
or 'council estate'
So snobby and completely unnecessary
And their choices are always ridiculously pretentious

Just finished readind a thread and the classic cliche of ‘just take yourself to a hotel for the weekends’ came up.

1. who can afford that every other weekend
2. we are in a pandemic so not really a solution to the OP’s problem.

I’m only half way through reading this thread but it’s so hilarious just had to thank everyone for their contributions. I only joined here a month ago and some of the posts have left me open mouthed with the “ advice” given.. Glad to hear I’m not alone with feelings I have about some of the comments. Onward to page 7!

I have a lovely, lean, lanky, long, luscious 6 foot 52 inch 15 year old son at home, he eats 5 chicken breasts per meal and is currently polishing off a full sleeve of weetabix smothered in sugar. It makes me feel so warm to feed him up.

His twin sister is a lardy lump and I need to have a conversation with her because I’ve found a Mars bar wrapper in her room. I’m terrified of her becoming obese clutches pearls

@Bellabluea

Please help me name my baby -

Eugenia
Petunia
Virginiana
Elspeth

Or
Eg Daisy
MN - oh it’s too common have you thought of marguerite.
Always amuses me.

My nana was called elspeth and I have never heard anyone use it on here before!

misses the point

Our surname is Smellhole. It's Spanish

Pronounced Zhme-yolé ? I like it 👍

I* love "run for the hills."
*
Me too. Even though we use it metaphorically now, I'm pretty sure it stems from ancient times when your village was under attack from Saxons/Vikings/Normans whoever. Or literally escaping a natural disaster flood-style.

I like the history to it.

soz.

Anyone having a baby after 40 is a selfish and deluded idiot whose baby will suffer all the medical ill-fortunes you can think about, and will a mother who will be confused for their grand-mother when they are 10, won't be able to walk without a walking aid and have Alzheimer when they are 14 and will likely die before they are 16 (or earlier).

Usually followed by "I don't know ANYONE in the whole world ever" who had children after they reach 30.

On the opposite end of the spectrum you have " No one in my circles (sniff) even think about children until their fourth decade. If they do they're obviously the underclass .

Everyone is entitled to a "cuddle" with a newborn, barge in on a new mother who just went through labour sometimes with heavy surgery and ensure a lifetime bond by being the first to take selfies to show anyone and everyone they were "first" there.

or the mother is a silly precious self-indulgent FTM who should appreciate the intrusion, shut up and make tea for the visitors who are good enough to come and see her.

Usually followed by: I had a full face of make-up on and was back in my clothes making a full roast diner for 20 people 10 minutes after my baby was born.

Spa day,well not during coronavirus, but still a suggestion
Spa day permutations are get highlights, pamper session, weekend away, hotel etc
A mn perennial

You’re like flat mates, said to any woman who doesn’t have a joint account with her dp
A woman who maintains financial autonomy is to be sneered at and told she’s not in a proper relationship

Lol at highlights, what if you have naturally dark hair and like it?

If you are a full time working MOTHER, your SAH or part-time husband is a horrible CF if they expect you to do anything but relax when you come home from work.

If you are a full time working FATHER, your SAH or part-time wife is being abused if you don't take care of the kids. make diner, do the house chores when you are back from work.

That anybody who has had a man treat them badly and didn’t instantly LTB in the first five seconds needs to “work on their boundaries”. Why? And how? There is never any clarification on how task this apparently essential task can be undertaken.

I remember in RL my ex told me (among many other horrible things) that I needed to “work on myself”. My friend suggested I send him daily pictures - one of me training for a marathon, one of me in earnest conversation with a renowned philosopher, etc etc etc.

My friend suggested I send him daily pictures - one of me training for a marathon, one of me in earnest conversation with a renowned philosopher

Oh God I'm loving this (assuming it's sarcasm ...)

'I despair' :)

@SofiaMichelle

Call him out. Call her out. Call them out. Call it out. Called out.

Makes me want to scratch my own eyes out.

I always think of this as the Heidelberg comment, I picture handsome men with long duelling scars on their faces. En garde!