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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Valentines for kids

229 replies

Hufflepuffmamma · 04/02/2021 22:46

I am preparing for High Roasting.

I am fairly new to MN. I can imagine this has come up before ?

Just mentioned to husband I’m going order to order the kids valentines teddies. I get a cheap like pound shop assortment for them each year literally about 3 quid each. Obvs this year will need to grab online.

He’s laughed abandoned thinks it’s the weirdest thing to do. I honestly never considered it to be weird that I get them something cute for the day.

I always feel weird on valentines excusing the kids and them not having anything .. but I feel like I’ve just realised this is ridiculous ..

So

YABU:- Totally weird and first world that you would consider valentines for kids being normal. You need better boundaries.
YANBU:- It’s a bit of fun . Harmless . I get it .

Please .....don’t roast so much it’s awkward enough to realise you might have ridiculous parenting ideas ...

OP posts:
CounsellorTroi · 05/02/2021 11:05

@Daisysflowers

All those sayings its weird and for adults only, this is what comes up on google when asking if it’s just for adults-

‘ Valentine's Day is meant to celebrate anything and anyone you love and cherish. Take a second to think about who really matters to you. Think about who or what you appreciate most. It might be a boyfriend or girlfriend—but it can also be family members, friends, teachers, coaches, your dog, and don't forget yourself!’

Valentine’s Day is for everyone!

That’s the Hallmark version. From the Middle Ages St Valentine’s Day has been associated with courtly love, which was knights setting out on adventures and performing various deeds or services for ladies because of their "courtly love".
marshmallowfluffy · 05/02/2021 11:06

In some countries (eg US) kids can participate in Valentines because it's not about romantic love but in England it's very weird to do so. I might buy chocolate on offer for the kids but they've grown up with the idea that Valentines is for couples so would find it weird if they got gifts.

Swiftjogger · 05/02/2021 11:07

Ah well I send chocolates to a relative with a learning disability in sheltered accommodation too, because I want to make them happy. I don’t mind what other people think.

Beautiful3 · 05/02/2021 11:11

Years ago I had a conversation with my 6 year old, about how valentine's day is just for growns ups, because they love each other. She replied, "but I love you and dad, so I'll make you a card" . From that year on, I always bought chocolates for the family to celebrate valentine's day, because we love each other!

LaceyBetty · 05/02/2021 11:13

Not weird at all in my opinion. My mum always got a little something for us and I do for my kids. In Canada it is the norm for kids to give out little valentines to all classmates.

Brieminewine · 05/02/2021 11:15

I think any excuse to spread a little love is nice!

I’ll do heart themed crafts and buy a little chocolate lolly for DD. Me and DH don’t really do Valentine’s Day, he’s doesn’t do cards but usually gets me so flowers. Some people do go massively OTT but I think it’s mostly for social media anyway!

Ponoka7 · 05/02/2021 11:15

My DD gets her children a rose shaped chocolate, bath bomb, the shapes with marshmallows in to go into hot chocolate etc. So completely usable stuff that just makes it a nice day/evening. One of their friends has a birthday on valentines day and the Mother gives valentines day themed edibles in the party bag.

lovepickledlimes · 05/02/2021 11:16

@CounsellorTroi yes and the traditional definition of courtly love is unconsummated love between a knight and his lady so if we go by that even the people who say it is a holiday that should remain between a couple have no ground to stand on either unless they are advocating a sexless relationship

CounsellorTroi · 05/02/2021 11:19

@lovepickledlimes Yes but that definition is still romantic love though?

lovepickledlimes · 05/02/2021 11:21

@CounsellorTroi my point is holidays and traditions change

InglouriousBasterd · 05/02/2021 11:22

Last year I bought a simple ‘I love you!’ Card and left it outside DDs door for when she woke up. She’s treasured that card ever since, it’s still on her bedside table. So I think it’s a lovely idea - but maybe stick with a card and some crafts or baking or something? Otherwise you may find yourself drowning in cuddly toys!

MessAllOver · 05/02/2021 11:32

I'm definitely going to celebrate with my 3yo. It's not like DH and I can actually go out for dinner or do anything special at the moment anyway. We'll bake heart shaped cupcakes, do some Valentines art and I might get some of that red bath slime for the bath so DS can play in it with his dinosaurs.

One thing we won't be doing is presents/ teddies though. We have a small house and trying to limit the junk that comes in... so presents are absolutely limited to Christmas/ birthdays and only 2 new cuddly toys allowed a year (one for birthday, one Christmas). We don't do presents for Easter either... only an Easter egg hunt.

shitinmyhandsandclap · 05/02/2021 11:34

My dad used to get me a cute Valentine's card every year, he died a couple of years ago. I miss it

StressedTired · 05/02/2021 11:53

I've lived in countries where valentines day celebrates love in general, not just romantic love, so you can celebrate family, friends, pets. So I say go for that!
But buying presents to add to landfill in a few months - don't bother. Enjoy your heart shaped pancakes (which sound amazing!) and make each other cards.

alphabetsoup1980 · 05/02/2021 12:10

Of course it's not weird! !!! Jesus. ..... it's about expressing love!! I used to send my gran a card every year. She loved it!!! x

Giraffe888 · 05/02/2021 12:29

My mum always bought us a heart shaped gingerbread and a card when we were younger and we loved it . My DS is 18 months and I too will do a little something for him

Useranon20 · 05/02/2021 12:40

We always buy the kids a cheesy box of chocolates each or something like that. We don’t buy them cards though. It’s just to mark the day as being a bit different and my parents always did it for me and my sisters.

biddybird · 05/02/2021 12:44

I'm in my 50s and still get a valentine (card) from my mum every year. It warms my heart.

Welshmaenad · 05/02/2021 13:42

I think adults buying valentines gifts for kids is weird. I wouldn't do it.

I have however just helped my 11yo DS order a valentines sweets basket for his girlfriend and I'm sure many people would find that weird also.

EvilSylvanianRabbit · 05/02/2021 13:49

I really love how some posters are like ‘oh I used to exchange Valentines with my mum/gran/dad/etc, such fond memories, really miss my gran!’ or whatever, and other people are like iTs So CrEePY aNd WeIrD....despite the many examples of people’s happy lived experiences of exchanging Valentine’s Day gifts and it not being creepy or weird

IEat · 05/02/2021 13:53

I think it’s cute
I buy mine heart chocolates

EternalOptimist7 · 05/02/2021 13:55

DH will sometimes bring flowers for DD12 when he gets my roses, which is really sweet. Otherwise Valentines Day is for the two of us, although it’s always pretty low key. DD gets a card & present for her ( sort of) boyfriend every year.

LadyWhistledownthe1st · 05/02/2021 13:55

Mine always get a chocolate heart lolly

Chickychoccyegg · 05/02/2021 13:56

Valentines is supposed to be a romantic day between couples, or letting someone know you fancy them( back in the day of writing secret cards covered in naff poemsGrin.)
I know quite a few people that celebrate valentines with their kids and buy them cards and gifts, its not for me, but not unusual now, just do whatever makes you all happy

ShortColdandGrey · 05/02/2021 13:57

I don't think it is weird I always get my DD a wee treat. It is a day to celebrate the ones you love.