Valentines for kids

[Hufflepuffmamma]

I am preparing for High Roasting.

I am fairly new to MN. I can imagine this has come up before ?

Just mentioned to husband I’m going order to order the kids valentines teddies. I get a cheap like pound shop assortment for them each year literally about 3 quid each. Obvs this year will need to grab online.

He’s laughed abandoned thinks it’s the weirdest thing to do. I honestly never considered it to be weird that I get them something cute for the day.

I always feel weird on valentines excusing the kids and them not having anything .. but I feel like I’ve just realised this is ridiculous ..

So

YABU:- Totally weird and first world that you would consider valentines for kids being normal. You need better boundaries.
YANBU:- It’s a bit of fun . Harmless . I get it .

Please .....don’t roast so much it’s awkward enough to realise you might have ridiculous parenting ideas ...

Valentine's to a child from parent fine.
Buying cheap landfill shite when the world is fucked not fine.

I can agree with the cheap landfill crap comment. It’s not cool. Not romantic. Not appreciated. Not worth it.....it’s not that hard to be thoughtful

Kids have no idea tho. They love cheap toys, teddy’s, sweets. What’s the harm?

I’ve never really been fussed about Valentine’s so I honestly don’t think I’ve ever bought anyone a present. It just seems like a pointless waste of money and resources to me.

Valentine's day is for lovers. Not your own kids.

We have always made valentines day a little family celebration of love, usually cards/small gifts and a fancy breakfast.

DS is now 26 and lives with fiance so will let them get on with it but I have funny cards for DD (19 & single) and DSS (12) and they will have a little gift as well.

DH and I have the same cards every year, we just get them out the drawer and regive them .

Maybe times have changed but when I was at school I’m 80s/90s if anyone found out I got a Valentines card, never mind a present, from my parents I would never have lived it down. That’s probably why I think this whole thing is very weird

Plus sometimes kids need to know that not everything is about them. Let the adults have a day to remember that they are a couple as well as parents

I grew up in Canada and valentines was big for kids! At school (a catholic school) we made little valentines boxes out of shoe boxes and used to swap handmade cards and sweets with all the other children in the class, and do valentines type crafts and activities. I just remember it being a really sweet and fun day. In this country it doesn’t feel like that, it’s the same as parents making those gross ‘is that your girlfriend/ boyfriend’ comments from age 3 onwards! Valentine’s Day is a made up holiday with a disputed history, it can be ‘for’ whatever you want it to be! Some might say it’s roots are really religious devotion... I voted YANBU because why not spread a little love and cheer in a difficult year!

I thought it could be interpreted as being about love in general, not just romantic or sexual love . St Valentine was originally associated with the idea of courtly love and loving nobly after all. And real love isn't about hearts and flowers at all, it's all about actions (sometimes quite difficult actions) not just words.

Therefore I think it's fine to let the children join in with the celebration once they are old enough; in our house it's become like Shrove Tuesday or Halloween; an excuse to celebrate and bake and have some fun. It doesn't have to mean buying a load of crapola either. I don't understand why anyone would object to this interpretation or indeed why they would care what other families do.

Oh I see my comment is similar to yours!! @user686233

We always found a card on the doormat each year from my mum when were kids. Probably until age 10 or a bit less. It was never signed from her but also not a secret that she wrote them! I think we would have a small chocolate heart or something in the card too. We loved it.

I’m not overly keen on a cuddly each year but my kids would have loved that when they were younger. Baking some heart shaped biscuits is a nice idea. This has reminded me I’d better get / make a card for DH! We don’t always bother but I think he deserves some recognition for being awesome.

My mum used to always get me something like a chocolate heart and I absolutely loved it growing up! I especially loved it more as a teenager when (i thought) I was too ugly to get a boyfriend who'd buy one for me...!

I think it’s a bit weird but not too weird and people do it. More unreasonable to buy cheap throwaway rubbish that’s pointlessly bad for the environment. Buy some chocolate or something instead !

Oops I have to confess I usually buy my two sons an appropriate valentines card and sometimes chocolates. I will definitely stop when they have girlfriends though...

Isn’t it weird tho that people have such visceral reactions to valentines, it’s just commercial, it’s new, it’s inappropriate? Christmas is more commercial, it’s not that new, get a grip. I wonder how many ‘don’t care’ because they’ve been hurt?

Do it! It's a bit of harmless fun and makes them feel included in the day. My sons 7 and I always get him a card and heart shaped chocolate or sweeties. It'll make them feel special on the day too!

My mum got me a spatula with hearts on when I was 16 (very into to baking). 13 years later I still use it every day :)

She's Canadian too, funnily enough

It is unusual in the UK but life is so boring in lockdown you might as well celebrate everything you can!

I remember how cringe valentines was in the eighties, mortifying and embarrassing, very Ionely. I was always an I don’t care girl but actually I secretly really do apparently. With the exception of the ex (for other reasons) it’s not a deal breaker but it’s nice so what?

My DC love any excuse to celebrate something! There’s an episode of True and the Rainbow Kingdom on Netflix (which is one of their favourite cartoons) called Happy Hearts Day which I think came out on Valentine’s Day a couple of years ago, so they’ll probably watch that and draw some hearts/make cards and we’ll have some heart shaped chocolates. Any excuse to cheer up during this miserable fuck of a year so far

Have always done this with my child since they were small. Now older they don’t demand big presents they know it’s just a chocolate/cakes a card and usually a stuffed toy with a funny slogan on etc.
I know other parents that do the same so have never thought of it as strange.

I was brought up that Valentine’s Day was not just for couples but for loved ones that mean a lot to you.

Its not harming anyone. I would do it.

Obviously we can’t go out this year but we are sending cards to our mums. Little things for his kids. Getting my mum flowers and a cake. I’m getting a m&s dinner, and a bottle of fizz. A personalised chef apron & a new wallet for him. Anyone else got good ideas?

@suspiria777

write DS a cute card and get him something like a heart shaped lolly. It makes him happy, I don’t care if it is silly. I take every opportunity to fill him up with love.

actually it sounds like you fill him up with sweets. food is not love, and nor are material gifts.

Genuinely made me laugh, so thank you!

I don't like it from a waste point of view. Eventually they will end up in landfill. They were probably made so cheaply because the workers are in appalling conditions and paid a pittance and I generally try to limit clutter in my house.
The dcs will enjoy Valentines day by making cards, decorations,biscuits etc which has the added advantage that it will keep them busy and entertained for a couple of hours!

It's weird and unnecessary. Seems to be coming over from the US in recent years. I wouldn't want the extra tat in the house so if you really wanted to get them something I'd go with heart shaped chocs or a cookie that says I love you. Least it won't be hanging around.