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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Valentines for kids

229 replies

Hufflepuffmamma · 04/02/2021 22:46

I am preparing for High Roasting.

I am fairly new to MN. I can imagine this has come up before ?

Just mentioned to husband I’m going order to order the kids valentines teddies. I get a cheap like pound shop assortment for them each year literally about 3 quid each. Obvs this year will need to grab online.

He’s laughed abandoned thinks it’s the weirdest thing to do. I honestly never considered it to be weird that I get them something cute for the day.

I always feel weird on valentines excusing the kids and them not having anything .. but I feel like I’ve just realised this is ridiculous ..

So

YABU:- Totally weird and first world that you would consider valentines for kids being normal. You need better boundaries.
YANBU:- It’s a bit of fun . Harmless . I get it .

Please .....don’t roast so much it’s awkward enough to realise you might have ridiculous parenting ideas ...

OP posts:
lovepickledlimes · 05/02/2021 08:47

@TheSoapyFrog it does seem odd though as love comes in so many forms. There are so many different Valentine's Day cultures around the world and not all of them are focused on just romantic love. In some it is very common to also give chocolate to friends you love or people you respect etc.

BeaSmithers · 05/02/2021 08:55

It's wierd!

Sceptre86 · 05/02/2021 09:02

No I mentioned this to dh and he thinks it is ridiculous to include children as do I in terms of card and gift giving. He has ordered us a meal from the caterers that prepared the food on our wedding day and the kids will obviously be included in that.

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings · 05/02/2021 09:09

My children are 2 and 4 and I get them love themed books for valentines day. I wouldn't personally buy something like a stuffed toy, especially for a teenager as they're too old at that point to love it so it's just going to go into a pile somewhere, but that's an eco criticism, in general I don't think it's weird to include your children. I don't think valentines day needs to just be about romantic love.

Catchingfire123 · 05/02/2021 09:09

I have brought my kids personalised cards and will get a little chocolate for them. Just to show them I love them. I don’t think it’s weird at all, they are only little. I probably won’t do it as they get older though.

TeaOneSugar · 05/02/2021 09:13

@sonnysunshine

Valentine's to a child from parent fine. Buying cheap landfill shite when the world is fucked not fine.
This is my concern, the whole YouTube/Instagram thing for decorating your house for every occasion it's all relatively cheap stuff from B&M and pound shops so it's very accessible and cheap enough to buy but it's just clutter and landfill.
Swiftjogger · 05/02/2021 09:20

The environmental issue is different though, and could be said about Christmas too.
I don’t think we should be buying more rubbish from Poundland or plastic decorations.

But giving your dc a handmade card or some chocolate to include them is not weird and I think the sexualisation of what is essentially a made up day strange in itself.

Gardenista · 05/02/2021 09:24

we will be decorating - as we do for Easter, Christmas, Halloween and anything else - I use paper decorations and reuse them. It does mean I have to store them but 'd rather not create landfill. My 5 year old loves making decorations and it's fun for them.

tentimesaday · 05/02/2021 09:34

Celebrating Valentines Day with your kids in some small way eg heart pancakes, a handmade card or cupcakes = NOT WEIRD.

Buying cheap crap teddies at Poundland, or other plastic junk to pollute the planet and clog up your house = WEIRD.

Meowchickameowmeow · 05/02/2021 09:41

If celebrating Valentine's day with your children brings you joy then do it, we all need a bit more of that. I wouldn't, however, buy teddy bears, they're a bit pointless. Get them some chocolate, a book, or silly socks. Something useful or edible that won't end up abandoned.

Toddlerteaplease · 05/02/2021 09:42

@TheSpottedDog that's a great idea. My cat has a boyfriend!

Imworthit · 05/02/2021 09:42

Seems we mostly all agree:
Poundland-weird 😂

tentimesaday · 05/02/2021 09:48

@Imworthit

Seems we mostly all agree: Poundland-weird 😂
Yep!
Angel2702 · 05/02/2021 09:53

I’ve always found it rather odd that it is celebrated for kids in America and parents sending their kids cards. It’s a romantic day about romantic love and makes it all a bit weird sending cards to kids. Growing up it was definitely all about sending a card unsigned to someone you liked or your romantic partner. I would have been mortified to receive a card from a parent.

The last few years I’ve bought a few packs of love hearts for the kids but haven’t bothered this year.

Katie1784 · 05/02/2021 09:57

It's harmless fun - apart from the £3 poundshop tat would be better never being bought as it will only end in landfill. So YABU to buy it. Why not bake some heart shaped cookies instead?

ShinyGreenElephant · 05/02/2021 10:01

@hufflepuffmamma I always buy my kids valentines cards and presents, we have heart shaped toast or pancakes for breakfast and me and DD11 make a big heart shaped pizza for tea. With DD2 I will do some valentines themed craft and sensory stuff and we will probably try and make Valentines slime although I'm crap at slime and it never works very well! My husband laughs at me but I couldn't care less, there is nothing we won't celebrate in this house, and especially this year when everything is so shit. I do try to avoid tat though - this year I've got the girls a book each with a love theme, a heart shaped chocolate lolly and I hand made their cards. My husband gets nothing because he thinks its all shite but we will have a date night when the kids are in bed with a nice takeaway and a drink (for him not me sadly as I'm very pregnant!).

I've always celebrated with the kids ever since my ex left just before DD turned 4 and she made me a valentines card "so I wasn't sad". After that it was just me and her for a long time and we loved celebrating Valentines together so no way was she getting dropped when I got married. You do what you want to do, I bet your kids love it, mine do.

Ilovemaisie · 05/02/2021 10:25

Why do people say everything from Poundland is 'Tat' ? That's where I usually get things like chocolates for valentine's (branded ones - same as you could get in Waitrose), craft bits to make cards (again often branded - they sell Crayola). Currently they are selling the little collectable Sylvanian Families blind bags (this is the type of little gift I would be likely to buy) - people usually rave on about the resale value of Sylvanians. They have some really cool Hot Wheel cars at the moment - again this is there type of small gift I would buy a child.
I am obsessed with bubble bath so that will probably be my valentine gifts - oh look it's that branded stuff that I could buy in Waitrose or Boots.
I could easily go to Poundland get chocs/bubble bath (which I would be buying anyway), some craft things (crafting is a good hobby and life skill) and some small little toys (that would get played with over and over and then sold on) and spend no more than £10 and none of it would be 'tat'.

Ilovemaisie · 05/02/2021 10:27

Katie1784 I could also get the ingredients and cookie cutters to make Valentine cookies from Poundland.

Feetupteashot · 05/02/2021 10:38

A card would be fine but please not more plastic!

CoolCatTaco · 05/02/2021 10:40

I think it's weird and creepy and totally inappropriate...but it seems to be a thing. Last year in work I was the only one in my team with a primary aged child who didn't do it. I asked DD about it and she looked like she was going to boke at the thought of getting a soppy card from us. I think she's right...

Ilovemaisie · 05/02/2021 10:48

CoolCat Valentine Cards don't have to be 'soppy'. I don't think I have ever bought a soppy card in my life.

Daisysflowers · 05/02/2021 10:54

All those sayings its weird and for adults only, this is what comes up on google when asking if it’s just for adults-

‘ Valentine's Day is meant to celebrate anything and anyone you love and cherish. Take a second to think about who really matters to you. Think about who or what you appreciate most. It might be a boyfriend or girlfriend—but it can also be family members, friends, teachers, coaches, your dog, and don't forget yourself!’

Valentine’s Day is for everyone!

Ladyks3 · 05/02/2021 10:58

In the US growing up it was common to bring fun valentines to your classmates (to everyone, no one left out) & the home room moms would plan to bring cupcakes or something as a snack during the day. So much fun getting cards & chocolate & wearing red/pink! I think it’s just a fun day to celebrate love, ridiculous to think it’s just for couples, but yes also it’s over commercialized & totally understand why people ignore the “holiday” as well. But FFS it’s been a difficult year, just let people enjoy themselves without all the judgment.

SpunBodgeSquarepants · 05/02/2021 11:02

I'm finding it so sad that so many posters find it weird! I've always bought my DS a card and something small (bar of chocolate or box of kinder eggs) for valentines day. He's almost 7.

Nonamesavail · 05/02/2021 11:02

@WayTooSoon

It's a day to celebrate the love you have for people. It doesn't have to be romantic love, I think it can be any love. My dad always wrote a nice card to my sister and I. I've bought cards and flowers for my friends. I think teddies for your children is a lovely idea.
I agree. Plus right now any excuse to change the mundane day to day!