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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Valentines for kids

229 replies

Hufflepuffmamma · 04/02/2021 22:46

I am preparing for High Roasting.

I am fairly new to MN. I can imagine this has come up before ?

Just mentioned to husband I’m going order to order the kids valentines teddies. I get a cheap like pound shop assortment for them each year literally about 3 quid each. Obvs this year will need to grab online.

He’s laughed abandoned thinks it’s the weirdest thing to do. I honestly never considered it to be weird that I get them something cute for the day.

I always feel weird on valentines excusing the kids and them not having anything .. but I feel like I’ve just realised this is ridiculous ..

So

YABU:- Totally weird and first world that you would consider valentines for kids being normal. You need better boundaries.
YANBU:- It’s a bit of fun . Harmless . I get it .

Please .....don’t roast so much it’s awkward enough to realise you might have ridiculous parenting ideas ...

OP posts:
RealisticSketch · 05/02/2021 07:39

Haven't rtft but have enjoyed your posts op, think you should continue to debate on MN. Grin

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 05/02/2021 07:40

@SirenSays

Every holiday now is "for the kids" Remember all those Halloween decorations that got blasted for being too scary. I like the idea of valentines being a day for adults.
well... if you have kids, they do creep in your daily life Confused that's why you have them in the first place Nothing stops you from having adult celebrations too.

If you haven't got kids, nothing is "for the kids" at all unless you go to a family attraction during holiday time.

Gingersnaphappy · 05/02/2021 07:43

@Imworthit

I remember how cringe valentines was in the eighties, mortifying and embarrassing, very Ionely. I was always an I don’t care girl but actually I secretly really do apparently. With the exception of the ex (for other reasons) it’s not a deal breaker but it’s nice so what?
Yes it's much nicer now that the celebration has broadened out. I always send my nieces a Valentine's card from my dog every year Grin. Signed with a mystery paw mark of course.

I think the people who are saying that it is inappropriate and somehow creepy are in fact the ones interpreting it in a sexualised way when it really doesn't have to be.

LApprentiSorcier · 05/02/2021 07:45

I think everything is becoming more about merchandise and Valentine presents for children are simply part of that trend.

In my childhood (in England) for example, there wasn't really anything in the shops for Hallowe'en but now the supermarket aisles are stuffed with this, that and the other.

If there's a special occasion, retailers will try every angle they can think of to flog stuff. Valentines stuff for children allows them to tap into a very lucrative market, including people who are single but have DC (or even nieces, nephews) who they can't target in their couples gift marketing.

The Valentine's highlight of my childhood was cooking up a plot with a female friend to send each other a card so we could 'say we got one' (with a proper postmark on the envelope Grin ).

JustHereWithPopcorn · 05/02/2021 07:54

I love this idea. Growing up I always remember my mum getting me a little token gift and then when I was a young teenager she would still get me chocolates. My son is in nursery and they've all painted and decorated cards for the parents which I thought was nice. If you can afford a little token something and it brings them joy why not! It's just a bit of fun! Smile

TheSpottedDog · 05/02/2021 08:04

To anyone interested in my dog’s love life ... yes she has a boyfriend. It’s a long distance relationship and “they” send each other birthday and Christmas cards and presents. It’s very cute!

Admittedly it may be the humans involved that get the most out of this relationship but it’s a bit of fun and not harming anyone, despite how batshit it might come across to others 😂 now ... we were recently told that he has something very important to ask her but it needs to be done face to face 😱 so after lockdown we’ll have to arrange a date. We’re very excited!! 😂

Perching · 05/02/2021 08:08

Meh. I got my boys (9 and 11) some chocs each. Life is so joyless at the moment. It’s just a bit of fun!

luxxlisbon · 05/02/2021 08:09

O always got a mini box of milk tray as a very young child on valentines day so I didn't feel left out when my dad got my mum something, which looking back was cute.

Morgan12 · 05/02/2021 08:11

I get my two a card and put a ? inside. And they get some chocolates.

They are 8 and 3 and I'll stop when they are older.

DH and I don't celebrate valentines and never have.

digthroughtheditches · 05/02/2021 08:12

I get my girls a rose and we have heart shaped pancakes. They love it.
What's the harm? They see me and my partner make a fuss of each other and get all giggly that 'they're in luurrve'
Hope it leaves some lovely memories.

lovepickledlimes · 05/02/2021 08:13

@TheSpottedDog that is actually kind of cute lol. My dog is in a long distance relationship but due to the wide ocean between them they just send each other 'selfies' from their humans phone lol

praecantator · 05/02/2021 08:14

YABU. Totally weird and unnecessary and quite frankly, tacky as hell, never mind shit for the environment due to all the cheap, nasty Poundshop rubbish that would be acquired for one bloody day.

PatchworkElmer · 05/02/2021 08:21

Meh. I think especially at the moment, it’s nice to have a fun day! DS has made cards for us at pre-school apparently, so I’ve got him one. We’re going to have heart shaped pancakes, bake some heart shaped biscuits, and make some heart decorations together. We did similar on Halloween- I’ve made a much bigger fuss of these events than I normally would since the pandemic. If I can give him a bit of joy though it, I don’t really care what anyone else thinks.

Imworthit · 05/02/2021 08:23

Why didn’t I think to get my dog a long distance sweetheart?......I’ve been neglecting her. Omg that’s so cute/funny.

In my day we got caned & threatened with coal for presents, bloody oranges every year, doesn’t mean it was good 😳 😂 That reminds me, my mum was telling my lil cousin you got coal if you were bad, he didn’t believe her, decided he would be bad to find out, then remembered he wanted presents....was so torn changed his mind about 5 times, eventually he asked my mum to be bad for him so he could find out. was Turns out it was surprisingly hard to find a lump of coal. He guessed we were messing with him when he got the processed round kind. Was so cute 😂😂😂

Swiftjogger · 05/02/2021 08:24

I think the people who are saying that it is inappropriate and somehow creepy are in fact the ones interpreting it in a sexualised way when it really doesn't have to be

I agree with this, it’s quite odd to sexualise it instead of just thinking it’s a fun event that can be as celebrated (or not) as people want.

Whatever brightens lockdown is fine by me.

KatyClaire · 05/02/2021 08:24

My parents gave me valentines as a child and I loved it. I think it’s nice to break the association between valentines and romantic love; all kinds of love can and should be celebrated, including familial.

DarceyDashwood · 05/02/2021 08:25

I wouldn’t have dreamed of getting my DS (6) a Valentines but last year he was highly offended that I hadn’t!! 😂🤷‍♀️ So this year I am prepared with a card and a little teddy. Can’t get worked up about it. When he is older I’ll explain what it really about but for now if it is another way of showing him he is loved then I’ll go along with that! Especially this year when he can’t see his friends/ do valentines stuff at school etc

IndigoHexagon · 05/02/2021 08:27

I was going to saty it’s a bit daft, by reading some of the other posts, I think actually, a day that celebrates love, in all its forms is actually a really lovely idea.

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 05/02/2021 08:29

I think it's sweet and harmless. Might get mine some heart shaped chocolates this year!

TheSoapyFrog · 05/02/2021 08:30

I do find it weird and a little creepy but it's something I see happening more often. St Valentine is the saint of courtly love which is for a partner or lover, definitely not the sort of love you feel for a child.
And it does seem now that every celebration involves buying stuff for your kids. It is ok to have something which isn't about them for once.
Your kids don't need tat from poundland either

Imworthit · 05/02/2021 08:31

Halloween was always big here tho, I remember my English friends being baffled when I asked what they were doing for the Halloween holidays and they said it wasn’t a thing. Felt so sorry for them.

SpookyCookyMammaBear · 05/02/2021 08:32

I literally don't think anyone should have an opinion on what you do with your own children.
Lots of people do lots of weird things, doesn't mean they're wrong.

I personally don't celebrate Valentine's Day at all (been with hubby for 10+ years) cos it's my mums birthday. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Isadora2007 · 05/02/2021 08:35

“Seems to be coming over from the US in recent years”

Well I’m in my forties and my mum got me and my siblings Thornton’s chocolate lollies and made us a card when we were little so...

CroutonsAvatar · 05/02/2021 08:38

Life’s too short and at the moment pretty miserable, if you enjoy doing it and they enjoy it then why not. I will probably do cakes and chocolates for mine when they’re older. Maybe not teddies, as children accumulate enough tat. But What’s the harm? Any excuse to celebrate a little. You’re not harming anyone, just doing it for the joy.

We always used to make valentines cards for our parents at school and I always got a chocolate heart lolly. It was cute.

WaltzesWithSnobs · 05/02/2021 08:44

Hmm, now that you ask, I've never given a Valentine's day card, present or box of chocolates to the DC. But my sister and I typically exchange cards and maybe some small confectionery and/or gift.

My DDs birthday is right after Valentines day though, so she's more thinking about that 😁 And DS isn't aware of Valentines day.