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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Valentines for kids

229 replies

Hufflepuffmamma · 04/02/2021 22:46

I am preparing for High Roasting.

I am fairly new to MN. I can imagine this has come up before ?

Just mentioned to husband I’m going order to order the kids valentines teddies. I get a cheap like pound shop assortment for them each year literally about 3 quid each. Obvs this year will need to grab online.

He’s laughed abandoned thinks it’s the weirdest thing to do. I honestly never considered it to be weird that I get them something cute for the day.

I always feel weird on valentines excusing the kids and them not having anything .. but I feel like I’ve just realised this is ridiculous ..

YABU:- Totally weird and first world that you would consider valentines for kids being normal. You need better boundaries.
YANBU:- It’s a bit of fun . Harmless . I get it .

Please .....don’t roast so much it’s awkward enough to realise you might have ridiculous parenting ideas ...

OP posts:

user686233 · 04/02/2021 23:05

I think it's just the UK who have this weird adult only idea of valentine's and that it can only be romantic love. In Canada you can buy kids multipacks of valentine's cards and that give them our amongst the class along with sweets. In England you get an aisle in Poundland selling lube and fluffy handcuffs and if kids recieve any cards from classmates then the parents tease them and are all leery and winky and 'have you got a boyfriend, who do you fancy'. It's so gross. I'd rather it was just about love, for friends and family too, not this weird sleazy interpretation of romance. So yes, I'm all for buying the kids some heart shaped sweets or small gifts.

DappledThings · 04/02/2021 23:05

I think it's weird, and yes it has come up before. But lots and lots of people do similar and don't think it's weird so you're unlikely to be in for much of a roasting.

Ilovemaisie · 04/02/2021 23:05

I have always given Valentine gifts for my daughter (age 12). Usually some heart shaped Haribo sweets or stickers or small crafty things. Just small things. Baker Ross (the children's arts and craft sellers) have loads of sets to make Valentine themed cards and gifts.
Valentine's Day is for everyone. I see it as a day of celebrating love - not romance. Which are two different things.

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 04/02/2021 23:05

I've gone valentines crazy this year. I knew I had a problem when I got the valentines email from M&S and scrolled passed "for her" (lingerie) and "for him" (accessories) and was dumbfounded there was no kids section. I knew then how far from the pack I had strayed...... nonetheless I researched heart shaped roasting dishes.

daisydoodle11 · 04/02/2021 23:05

Il be raiding Poundland also for little Valentine bits for my 3 kids it's harmless fun!
In these terrible times we're in I'm taking anything I can to cheer us up and running with it ☺️

WorraLiberty · 04/02/2021 23:05

@Hufflepuffmamma

I’ve got an age range of kids age 17 ,10,8 do fine it with all of them... *@TheFaithfulBorderBinliner* lots of junk.. my attempts at being more eco- ethical are a whole other thread...

@PoptartPoptart yeah I’m realising this .....

I’m Still annoyed at my husband for outing me and ruining my fun ( also not sure why he’s only just noticed - I do it every year )

What do you mean 'outing you'?

Do your kids believe in a Valentine's bunny and is it really you in a costume?

Poppiesway1 · 04/02/2021 23:07

I grew up with jack Valentine. Who visited my children too. I’d much rather this than a box if milk tray and supermarket flowers.

Persephoned · 04/02/2021 23:07

I think yabu to get more throwaway tat and teddy bears...but yanbu to find a nice reason to celebrate with kids or anyone else - handmade cards, heart shaped biscuits/pancakes, get them each a heart shaped chocolate. We all need nice things and reasons to celebrate right now.

I’d centre celebrations around food and paper decorations - my mum did this for us a bit when we were little and it was lovely. Just marking different events in the calendar

EdgeOfACoin · 04/02/2021 23:07

It's quite common in America for Valentine's to be an all-age celebration. Kids make cards for others in their class.

It's more of a couples' thing in the UK.

VestaTilley · 04/02/2021 23:08

No I don’t do this with my child.

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 04/02/2021 23:09

YABU for having to include the kids in everything. nd them not having anything that's silly

even if mothers really should be included in their kid's birthday celebrations

YANBU at all to make a little celebration of that day!

The world is such a shit show at the moment, anything to cheer people up should be welcomed.

KnobblyWand · 04/02/2021 23:09

I don't usually, but this year I am. I don't really care what other people think, frankly, because if there's a chance to have a day that isn't exactly the same as every other fucking day then I'm fucking taking it.

Fuck I think I'd make a day out of national cactus day at this point.

I'm getting them some little chocolates, a bit of poundshop tat, decorating the living room with wanky red paper hearts and doing them a special breakfast.

Becles · 04/02/2021 23:10

I get OH, my mum, best friend, kids and godchildren valentine cards.

My Brownies will be celebrating Galantine's day.

Username198 · 04/02/2021 23:10

My parents always used to get me something for Valentine’s Day when I was a kid. Which is ironic considering they’ve never bothered with cards for each other!

LibrariesGiveUsPower45321 · 04/02/2021 23:10

My mum always got us a little something. Don’t see what’s weird about that.

You’re celebrating the date a Christian got martyred for their beliefs. All the modern commercialism is pretty weird tbh.

Original poster

Hufflepuffmamma · 04/02/2021 23:10

@SymphonyofShadows @WorraLiberty

I’ve acknowledged the weirdness myself thanks. Being new to MN the one thing I’ve noticed is the judgements are STRONG and often pointlessly mean ....

Must be nice..never to have a weird or different think you would like fellow humans to help you hash out...

I mean I literally thought this was the place to kind of just throw it out there .. get some advice ...

I have so many weird/random things that I’d appreciate debates on. So look forward to more annoying posts from moi

OP posts:

mycatscausehell · 04/02/2021 23:11

jack/mother valentine was a thing for me when I was growing up. left chocolate and a card outside the door. totally not weird

Chambored · 04/02/2021 23:11

NannyR
I would consider it weird too. If you really want to involve them in a commercialised "special day" then why not do something simple like making a heart shaped pancake or something for breakfast, costs very little and shows that you've gone to a bit of effort.
It's the consumerist, throw away aspect that doesn't sit right with me - buying pound shop tat, that will end up in landfill eventually.
I make heart shape pancakes aswell usually... blush

Yeah I’m easily led into consumerism .... I wish I could say different ... I need to probably review this weakness... it is sad.

^^
It’s all consumerist tat.
So if you want to do something to mark the day for your kids then @NannyR has come up with a great idea. Or get them a heart shaped chocolate lolly.

suspiria777 · 04/02/2021 23:12

write DS a cute card and get him something like a heart shaped lolly. It makes him happy, I don’t care if it is silly. I take every opportunity to fill him up with love.

actually it sounds like you fill him up with sweets. food is not love, and nor are material gifts.

Original poster

Hufflepuffmamma · 04/02/2021 23:12

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

YABU for having to include the kids in everything. nd them not having anything that's silly

even if mothers really should be included in their kid's birthday celebrations

YANBU at all to make a little celebration of that day!

The world is such a shit show at the moment, anything to cheer people up should be welcomed.

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer :)

good points on all counts.

OP posts:

SymphonyofShadows · 04/02/2021 23:13

Hufflepuffmamma wind your neck in. It’s really not necessary to include your children in absolutely everything. That way lies madness. Your tiny megalomaniacs, your monkeys though. Crack on.

Alb1 · 04/02/2021 23:13

If you’ve always done it I would carry on! I don’t do it for my kids, but my nana always uses to leave me a cute little valentines card signed with a ? And a heart shaped chocolate lolly and it was sweet, I look back on it now and smile, and if your kids will too then carry on

CounsellorTroi · 04/02/2021 23:13

@TheSpottedDog

I’ve just ordered my dogs boyfriend a valentines card from moonpig so I’m probably not the best person to pass judgement 😂

Your dog has a boyfriend?

KnobblyWand · 04/02/2021 23:13

actually it sounds like you fill him up with sweets. food is not love, and nor are material gifts.

Quick someone call SS.

DaisyDreaming · 04/02/2021 23:15

I think it’s nice. This time of year can be so dull, it’s a long stretch between Christmas and Easter. No harm in celebrating something and brightening a day up. I remember as a child one year (we didn’t normally do valentines) finding a chocolate heart from my mum in my lunch box on Valentine’s Day and it making me happy

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