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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Valentines for kids

229 replies

Hufflepuffmamma · 04/02/2021 22:46

I am preparing for High Roasting.

I am fairly new to MN. I can imagine this has come up before ?

Just mentioned to husband I’m going order to order the kids valentines teddies. I get a cheap like pound shop assortment for them each year literally about 3 quid each. Obvs this year will need to grab online.

He’s laughed abandoned thinks it’s the weirdest thing to do. I honestly never considered it to be weird that I get them something cute for the day.

I always feel weird on valentines excusing the kids and them not having anything .. but I feel like I’ve just realised this is ridiculous ..

So

YABU:- Totally weird and first world that you would consider valentines for kids being normal. You need better boundaries.
YANBU:- It’s a bit of fun . Harmless . I get it .

Please .....don’t roast so much it’s awkward enough to realise you might have ridiculous parenting ideas ...

OP posts:
welliguessitwouldbenice · 04/02/2021 23:38

Well said @Hufflepuffmamma. I’m not religious though was raised in church, but I do understand the neon posters outside churches about love. Sexual love is one aspect of love. But it needs other types of love to thrive x

dazzlinghaze · 04/02/2021 23:42

I don't think it's necessary but if you want to I think it's a nice and a bit of fun. Especially in such a gloomy year! My mum always got us a wee valentines cake from bakery and a card.

CounsellorTroi · 04/02/2021 23:42

The Welsh equivalent of Valentine's day, St Dwynwen's Day on 25 January is definitely for lovers as she is their patron saint!

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 04/02/2021 23:46

Like PP, I grew up in Norfolk, where we had Jack Valentine which has had something of a resurgence in recent years. www.imperialhotel.co.uk/blog/local-area/jack-valentine-the-romantic-essence-of-norfolk-british-traditions I do think it's a bit... odd to buy Valentine's cards for your kids, but the tradition here is slightly different. It's kind of a mingling of Christmas, Easter, April Fools and Valentines I suppose.

Sweettea1 · 05/02/2021 00:01

I tell my dc I love them just like everyday. They know they are loved.Am not going to buy into this social media look what I done/got for my kids shite.

closetparty · 05/02/2021 00:16

It’s a bit of fun.

My daughter is 2 and I’ve got her a basket of gifts (no single use tat) things that will be played with. I’ve bought loads of decorations and am having Krispy Kreme donuts delivered for us to decorate. Plus a weekend of themed crafts/activities!

Lockdown is miserable, why not celebrate it if it makes you happy?

fannyFERNACKERPANN · 05/02/2021 00:17

I get my kids valentines gifts every year, usually some chocolates and teddy each... they love it but it's not a big deal/big fuss

watchingabike · 05/02/2021 00:26

Landfill loves you

WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 05/02/2021 00:31

I think I'm going to handmade a card for my two boys and two girls. I'll let each child choose one thing to have for dinner and we will do that. Think I'll put out the table cloth and candles and make it a bit fun.

I've fuck else to be doing and they are all little so will love a romantic meal for 6.

Albgo · 05/02/2021 00:45

@TheSpottedDog please come back and tell us about your dog's boyfriend.

PheasantPlucker1 · 05/02/2021 00:59

Usually Id be one of the people calling it mental.

However, the last 12 months have been shit. Any excuse to party and make the kids smile!

Ive bought the DC sweet boxes, we've made cards, going to bake a cake and Im nicking the heart shaped pancakes idea. Teenage DD thinks its mad, but at least it made her laugh.

jessyjo2 · 05/02/2021 01:21

I usually do the same, just to make them feel loved.
Part of my thought is when they get older, friends get valentines cards, friends have partners etc, if my kids don't I still want them to feel someone loves them.

lovepickledlimes · 05/02/2021 01:31

I don't see a problem with it. In school we used to be able to send people Valentine's Day chocolates. Used to get them for my friends every year in secondary school so I don't see how that is any different. I am sure they will appreciate it

SirenSays · 05/02/2021 01:46

Every holiday now is "for the kids" Remember all those Halloween decorations that got blasted for being too scary. I like the idea of valentines being a day for adults.

WanderingMilly · 05/02/2021 01:55

My kids always had Valentine's cards, right from being small children right up to being adults.
If others were boasting at school about having cards, my children could always honestly say they'd had a Valentine's card too and not lose face.
And we'd always do crafts and make cards for grandma and grandad, and take bunches of daffodils to the little old lady down the road. Nice way to spread some love in the world, I always thought it was a good way to be kind and loving to others...

1Change2 · 05/02/2021 03:40

It seems excessive to me. I'm not miserable 😂 but there seems to be a lot of buying for the sake of it, especially at the moment. My son always gets birthday and Christmas presents, and toys, etc. every now and then, an Easter egg too as he's old enough now. But for valentines day we've decided on a takeaway (little one included) and just cards between partner and I. Neither of us like tat, but an excuse for takeaway is always good. 😁

namechange63524 · 05/02/2021 04:36

The kids always used to come back with a card or a heart craft from preschool and also from school last year. Is it creepy? Should I complain to the school?!!! Me and DP don't normally do much for valentines, but acknowledge it - a token pressie or flowers and card and nice dinner etc. If you've always done your tradition OP, it's cute and no weirder than kids coming home from school with a card...oh to only have twenty pieces of tat in my house!! I will give the kids a token something now as they'll love it.

Thirtiesclub · 05/02/2021 04:42

Whoever thinks this is weird is weird!!

My daughter is 100% getting one of those massive teddy bears from sainsburys they do along with a card and chocs.

Its about love at the end of the day. Whats the biggy, do it and dont care what people think!

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 05/02/2021 04:55

I suppose that's no weirder than what we do.
In our house for the Queen's Official Birthday I usually make two or three Swiss Rolls and decorate them to look like corgis.

On Trafalger Day we have a water fight in the garden. Dad always has to win AND he really does only have one eye!

On 'Respect for the Aged Day' (Japan - 15 September) I draw frown lines on all the kids foreheads with an eyebrow pencil, and put talcum powder on their hair and they wander around all day with a stoop.

The Easter idea that we all gave each other a live rabbit was a disaster, and we still have issues with the warren undermining the shed.

Jumpintothefire · 05/02/2021 05:05

My parents always got us a wee thing like sweets or chocolate and I have carried this on with my children. They are older now but will still get a nice doughnut or sweets . DH will get the soppy card and probably some beer and the dogs will get treats too. By God it's been a long winter , have some fun folks !

GoodnightKevin · 05/02/2021 05:15

@KnobblyWand

I don't usually, but this year I am. I don't really care what other people think, frankly, because if there's a chance to have a day that isn't exactly the same as every other fucking day then I'm fucking taking it.

Fuck I think I'd make a day out of national cactus day at this point.

I'm getting them some little chocolates, a bit of poundshop tat, decorating the living room with wanky red paper hearts and doing them a special breakfast.

Yep! I normally don't do anything for Valentine's Day, but I will this year because I am so fucking of every. Fucking. Day. Being the same as the last one and so are my kids. It's mine and DH's wedding anniversary on the 27th and gasp we'll be including the kids in our celebrations for that too! It's not like we can go anywhere or do anything overtly special just the 2 of us 🤷🏻‍♀️
Imworthit · 05/02/2021 05:17

I think it’s sweet. Who cares. I’m buying my mum and mother in law valentines cards this year. And I know they will be appreciated. My partner is well up for it. My mums partner died last year not long before valentines. My partner was working so I took her out to dinner at his restaurant. He had all sorts of gifts planned (my ex had been a prick the valentines before so he promised to spoil me- ex got me a Poundland mug that said ‘you were supposed to be a one night stand’, we got into a fight, he ditched me, I dumped him. Not because of valentines. The mug should have been funny....but it just wasn’t) anyway I got mum a thoughtful gift pretended it was from OH she had a brilliant time. We both did. Everyone was so jealous, kind of felt nice. I’d never been spoiled like that. Want to make this year as special for both our mums. Anyway my fiancé drinks his coffee out of the one night stand mug and laughs at my ex for taking me for granted.

My point is ignore the grumpy people. It’s never a bad idea to be thoughtful, loving and make good memories

Imworthit · 05/02/2021 05:23

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

I suppose that's no weirder than what we do. In our house for the Queen's Official Birthday I usually make two or three Swiss Rolls and decorate them to look like corgis.

On Trafalger Day we have a water fight in the garden. Dad always has to win AND he really does only have one eye!

On 'Respect for the Aged Day' (Japan - 15 September) I draw frown lines on all the kids foreheads with an eyebrow pencil, and put talcum powder on their hair and they wander around all day with a stoop.

The Easter idea that we all gave each other a live rabbit was a disaster, and we still have issues with the warren undermining the shed.

I love you ❤️This is brilliant 😂
Imworthit · 05/02/2021 05:27

@SymphonyofShadows

Grow up? We aren’t the ones who are infantilising something that’s about adult relationships and (gasp) sex. Children can hear the word ‘no’ occasionally.
It’s about Love. It can be about sex but if it were just about sex where are all my fuck boy valentines 😂
Imworthit · 05/02/2021 05:29

@user686233

I think it's just the UK who have this weird adult only idea of valentine's and that it can only be romantic love. In Canada you can buy kids multipacks of valentine's cards and that give them our amongst the class along with sweets. In England you get an aisle in Poundland selling lube and fluffy handcuffs and if kids recieve any cards from classmates then the parents tease them and are all leery and winky and 'have you got a boyfriend, who do you fancy'. It's so gross. I'd rather it was just about love, for friends and family too, not this weird sleazy interpretation of romance. So yes, I'm all for buying the kids some heart shaped sweets or small gifts.
This and yeah my partner is Canadian wonder if that’s why he’s had the only healthy response 😂