Head teacher doing “shout outs”

[Atalune]

Head of large secondary is doing positive shout outs for children who are deserving.

And as bloody usual it is the majority of really bloody naughty kids who are doing sweet FA! Or those who are struggling with their mental health ( I do not grudge these)

As an ex teacher I KNOW it is important to motivate the ones who need it. The ones who are low. But I am so fed up.

Dd- she really thought he would get one this week- full marks in the work, work submitted is of a high quality, she’s joined all the lives. SHe’s keen she’s engaged. Did she get one? Nope. Her friend who is doing fuck all and crying all day long and doing no work is getting them all the time.

I DO understand that those who are struggling need more. I do I do. But I am so fed up of the kids who are working hard, doing well. What about them? Always overlooked! And so now she’s crying and saying what’s the point?! It is unfair. I can’t email the school we will look like total brats.

Grrrrr, life isn’t fair.

Just a vent. I’m on the edge today.

Most of the comments on here are more applicable to primary school children. Unless your DC go to a particularly small secondary school, there is no way that a headteacher will "shout out" to more than a small proportion of children. DC's school are posting good examples of work on their website. I think there's a maximum of about 6-8 per year group each week. There are 480 children in Year 7. Those in the hard working but not exceptional middle are not particularly likely to get mentioned, just because of the numbers involved.

I don't think it's just a case of encouraging the ones who need extra assistance, in my experience the kids who have the fuss made are usually kids of teachers at the school...

For example, during a live the other day the teacher was saying hi Isaac, hi Joanne, hi olivia, oh hi grace, so nice to see you grace, hi Matt, hi Lewis, oh hello Charlie, I've seen so much great work from you it's great to see your face..: you can guess who the kids of teachers were from that... my ds is doing all his work on time, attending every live, engaging with the work and has had fuck all recognition

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

Other kids do notice about uniform

they might

but you do realise that in many schools (not all!) the wealthiest families are the least bothered about uniforms?

I think is very true. From years of struggling financially and making sure my kids had the right, embroidered uniform to now being comfortable with money and they're now kitted out fully at Asda, it's less than a quarter of the cost of buying from the uniform shop

Things going on in their lives" my arse.
Or maybe the parents are absolute disrespectful lazy bastards with no respect for anyone and raised their kids to be the same way to blame all their faults on everything else hmm

You're a nasty piece of work, aren't you?

I had a parent on the phone yesterday in tears because her son has been arrested. He lost his Dad to a horrendous illness, has lost another close family member to suicide and his Mum is now blaming herself for him being exploited by a county lines drug gang because she works three jobs to make ends meet so isn't home much. I should have told her that she's clearly a "lazy disrespectful bastard" as clearly that's the only reason her child could possibly display challenging behaviour or be disengaged from school.

OP I agree you should email.

DS2 is in year 7. He’s at home all day with his teen brother while I’m at work, and he’s worked really hard. He’s logged into every registration, every live lesson, and has submitted all the work that has been set. But not one single piece of work has been marked.

I know from talking to friends who are teachers, that they are spending lots of time chasing after the kids who aren’t logging in at all. Obviously these kids are at best lazy (and in danger of falling behind) and at worst extremely vulnerable. So I understand that the kids who are safe, warm, fed, have the facilities to work and are getting on with it, are not being given priority.

However, they’re all kids at the end of the day, and only have a limited capacity to self motivate. This week DS2 started saying he couldn’t see the point , nothing got marked, nothing got acknowledged, no praise received - just an empty screen into which he sends his work, never to be seen again!

So I emailed politely, I didn’t moan, I just asked the DS could have some feedback, or at least a line saying “well done, good work”. He’s since had some acknowledgment of his work, and he feels much better.

So I’d definitely email .

They ARE kids.

I wish I had kids who were self motivated to work hard for very long stretches with little to no feedback.

We wouldn't need school then!

Bagamoyo1
Parents like you really make the job easier. Why can't more people raise concerns or queries in reasonable ways.

I'm glad your son is getting the feedback and encouragement he needs.

What many don't get is...a lot of the scummy naughty kids are the happiest. They have a good home life. Their parents are just rude, spoil them rotten, teach them no respect and think its perfectly acceptable for their kids to bully different/less fortunate people (I once witnessed a scummy mummy point at a poor child in a wheelchair and laugh, made jokes about it with their DC. I was fuming )

And the school helps reconfirm this scum's belief that, treating other people like shit to get what you want is rewarded.

As the parent of the good child who was often downcast at seeing the 'naughty' kids being rewarded, I do agree with the feelings here.

However, I did realise that I also did this myself at home, and didn't always remember to praise or reward good behaviour!

And the school helps reconfirm this scum's belief that, treating other people like shit to get what you want is rewarded.. What a revolting way to talk about human beings.

What a revolting way to talk about human beings.
I agree.

ringydinghy
You do realise that someone who is so unpleasant to mock disabled people are likely to be the sort of people who turn on anyone when it suits, including their own children?

If talking about children being 'scum' makes you feel good then that says a lot about you.

I'm sorry but...some people ARE just scum. There doesn't always have to be some oh so tragic backstory to explain/justify it or anything.

Some people go through hell but are the salt of the earth. Some people have it all handed to them and are absolutely vile.

This isn’t even the case at my children’s school. Everyone gets a chance for one here. I think the teachers probably have a list of who has or hasnt and they get around to everyone eventually throughout the year. Sounds like a problem with the school.

To add! Naughty kids is really bleddy rude op. I assume you mean those with additional needs? My son would probably be a child you would deem ‘naughty’. He’s autistic and has 1:1. He’s had rewards for things that others wouldn’t. For instance for taking part in a school play or sprite day. Things he has struggled with that other children do not. It gives him a confidence boost.

To add to my pp, how do you know their doing Fa at home op? How on earth would you knoa that. No you don’t. Focus on what your own children are doing and not others. Home schooling for children with additional needs is really hard! Whilst your daughter might do the work with no fuss, others do not so sometimes getting it done is an achievement! For many school is school and home is home.

YANBU.
At my sons primary they have sent home cards/letters, badges and certificates to a select number of students. The students with parents who don’t work or are furloughed are getting heaps and heaps of praise. And their parents are getting badges and stuff too! Which is ridiculous. Every time they have a live my son is left asking why he doesn’t have a reward yet, when the naughtiest kids in the class - with parents who don’t work and spend all day homeschooling them- have several at this point.
My son is one of only6 students who have to go to school because both parents are key workers. He doesn’t attend certain days of the week because I have arranged my work to suit better. The days he doesn’t go in, I have his baby brother to contend with, teaching private lessons myself and paperwork from the other days. I seriously think he deserves recognition for everything he is doing - after all, no one child is “doing better” than any other child in this!
It’s really really unfair that his contributions are unrecognised.

And by naughty I mean the two boys who have consistently bullied or victimised my son and 3 other kids in the class over the last 3 years!

@ToffeePennie

And by naughty I mean the two boys who have consistently bullied or victimised my son and 3 other kids in the class over the last 3 years!

You are just proving my point, these namby pamby PC people trying to justify these kids scummy behaviour...."ohh they may be struggling"

It's common sense to me - the teachers reward this scum because they know if they don't their big bullies of parents will threaten the school with lawsuits and fisticuffs left right centre

surely these headteacher awards/shout outs don't benefit anyone? Why don't schools just get rid of them? I never hear a good word about them. I dislike the idea that kids who work hard feel they need to be validated by them more than anything. I don't work in a school, so I don't know maybe there's benefits that I don't see

We've always had a similar problem. My daughter works hard and always well behaved (at school - so I'm told by teachers) but she rarely gets pupil of the week or star of the day. Because she's always good its just not recognised, its expected. I understand the need to motivate the children who aren't always interested but it is always really disheartening for my dd. I tell her not to worry and we recognise her effort but its not the same. Having said that, her teacher this year has been very encouraging. I feel pleased that her effort is being recognised.

I really really wish my DS was the kind of child whose only difficulty ever was not to get enough shout outs. Must be lovely to have that problem.

In my opinion these things should be private matters, send an email if needed. I hate all the star of the week type b.s, all it ACTUALLY achieves is making kids like your daughter (and mine) wonder why they bother!

@drspouse my son is far and away from a self motivated, academically minded child. He has a serious learning difficulty that impacts his reading and writing ability. This has only been uncovered in the past 3 months because of my nagging. Upon receipt of the diagnosis, I put my previous SENDCO skills to work and discovered something that could help him. He has gone up 3 more reading levels and is now “average” for his class. Still hasn’t even had a “well done”

Its completely unfair my children's school is the same. The hardworking kids who just get on with it are ignored whilst the unruly ones gets 'pupil of the week!' Life isnt fair but it's a horrible lesson to learn at a young age. Say something to the school, tell them they aren't helping with your child's mental health. Make them act.

0gfhty
As with anything, if they're done well they can be good.
The problem comes from a few situations in my experience:

1. A poorly managed programme where either the same few are always rewarded / it's not communicated to the student why they have been given the rewarded / some students get rewards like candy but others get no recognition

Or

1. A well managed programme comes under fire from parents who get annoyed if any child other than theirs and the nice children they approve of get the rewards.

I've had some lovely phone calls and emails from parents after I sent positive postcards home for specific things: some were academic based, some were for kindness and compassion, some were for making progress with behaviour.

When my daughter was in year 2 she got very upset because she had never been star of the week in 3 years despite having flawless behaviour and great work ethic. I raised it with the school after she had told me that she would never get it because it was only for naughty kids. The next week she was star of the week and the teacher said she could easily be star of the week every week so had been overlooked - I'm glad that I raised it as it cheered my kid up :)

For secondary school, Id email a picture of a piece of work she is particularly proud of straight to the headteacher and let them make their own conclusions about shout outs :)