Head teacher doing “shout outs”

[Atalune]

Head of large secondary is doing positive shout outs for children who are deserving.

And as bloody usual it is the majority of really bloody naughty kids who are doing sweet FA! Or those who are struggling with their mental health ( I do not grudge these)

As an ex teacher I KNOW it is important to motivate the ones who need it. The ones who are low. But I am so fed up.

Dd- she really thought he would get one this week- full marks in the work, work submitted is of a high quality, she’s joined all the lives. SHe’s keen she’s engaged. Did she get one? Nope. Her friend who is doing fuck all and crying all day long and doing no work is getting them all the time.

I DO understand that those who are struggling need more. I do I do. But I am so fed up of the kids who are working hard, doing well. What about them? Always overlooked! And so now she’s crying and saying what’s the point?! It is unfair. I can’t email the school we will look like total brats.

Grrrrr, life isn’t fair.

Just a vent. I’m on the edge today.

DGS school has Star of the Week. Always the same kids!! Same with nativity plays, anything that involves being in the spotlight. Parents usually suck up to the teacher, on some school committee etc. I can tell you the names who will 'star' even before the event.

I think you’ve summed it up perfecTly when you say ‘life’s not fair’ OP

I used to say to my daughter that such rewards were for the children who had no self motivation Or needed it to regulate their behaviour .....and rewarded her efforts myself

Yep. Had to explain this to my two children during first lockdown. Hey worked hard, did their best every day under shielding circumstances and got zilch recognition whilst the class clowns and others were “encouraged” with daily praise and awards. We deregistered now anyway and feel so much better being out of the system.

We had this issue too when in school (amongst lack of party invites pre covid but that’s a different thread lol) .....and it’s really soul destroying week after week, however since home schooling our head teacher has literally been praising loads of people it’s lovely. For instance Last week my dd did an excellent piece of work it would have been hard for them not to feature it in their newsletter lol but they did - so afterwards I told her teacher that she was over the moon it was featured (she was!) then today for this week she has been named home schooler of the week for her amazing hard work.

It is so unfair when a child's work is gone unnoticed. I have this with my eldest daughter. Always way ahead of herself, puts her all in, is polite and kind and has never been in trouble at school. Has half the merits of the naughty kids. She often says why do I bother

My daugher's infant school teacher used to give the kids beanie boo stuffed animals to take home for various good behaviours - with 6 a day on offer it shouldn't have taken long for one to come home with her, but after 6 weeks of her saying "i didnt get one again today" I went it to raise this issue. I still remember the teacher's response..."god, not another person moaning about beanie boos. If one more person compains, I'm going to scream"... nothing changed and 5 year's on she's still using them ...Would it really kill her to have a 'Practically Purfect Pet' for those whose behaviour didn't need attention? Grrrr...

always the way, those that just get on are ignored. I was one, my children are the same. However, my youngest is really struggling to engage, has a lazy streak and is doing bare minimum so isn't getting told off but no encouragement either. he just sits in the middle.

And as bloody usual it is the majority of really bloody naughty kids who are doing sweet FA!

How do you know what they are doing?

Tbh I think schools, esp big secondaries, pull names out of a hat. I know this as we were due to change school last spet then didn't and DD got a commendation for games when she wasnt even there!! At primary she was the sweetest, kindest girl, all of her friends said it bt she didn't once get the recognition for it even tho,other kids did every week. Tell yr kid to do well and just show them with her results as the shout outs are meaningless. This is from a parent who has been exactly there.

We’ve had exactly the opposite here. Mine are at primary school so maybe it’s different incentive wise. But the headteacher has done their awards this week and as usual it’s the brightest ones where the learning comes really easily. Also the ones who are only children and being home schooled by a sah or furloughed parent. We have been given a 9-3 daily timetable and these kids have got the awards because they have completed it all. The children whose parents are trying to juggle work and other children just can’t put in this level of teaching/home learning.

My 2 with additional needs have to make such a Herculean effort toget a quarter of the work done and they feel once again that what’s the point, they never get recognised because the school are all about the g&t and the ones that make them look good.

And Star of the Week is the same here. Ds1 has been it once and he’s in year 3 and ds2 in yr2 has never been it.

I spoke to ds1 teacher yesterday about something unrelated but I did mention I thought all the children must be struggling with being away from school and they must all be trying their hardest and dealing with different home situations and I felt doing a massive zoom call recognising the same few was a little tone deaf, particularly as it was billed as something to do with mental health week to give them a boost. I think it totally backfired and a lot of children were left feeling really shit about themselves.

I hate this. Hated it as a pupil. Still think it’s shit now.

The thing that always got me was the praise never actually made them work any harder, either. The same old distraction in the classroom ensued regardless.

Goodness, you should change your name to Google. You clearly know everything.

You don’t know how much someone has come along or how much effort someone has put in. You sound petty and jealous.

Yep, I'm with you OP. The good ones, the ones who try hard, work quietly and dilligently are taken for granted, whilst the troublesome disengaged ones are overpraised when they deign to show a tiny bit of enthusiasm.

It's shit. Tell your DD that WE appreciate her hard work!!

I'm a secondary school teacher.
At a previous school where I worked, all the worst behaved kids got to do a cadet thing and get a day off school every week to drive a quad bike, build a campfire, cook sausages.
They also 'earned' a trip to Alton Towers for not being arseholes for a couple of weeks.
Did their behaviour & effort improve afterwards? Did it heck.
Were the good kids resentful? You bet, and the teachers hated it.

I think what often happens is that very early on in school it's obvious that everyone will get award, parents and kids know this so it doesn't mean anything, it's just 'their' turn. When the same 'naughty' children get rewarded over and over and the quiet hard working ones get overlooked they become cynical.

However ultimately most parents of the hard working children will support them and ensure they grow up knowing that hard work and building resilience are important. I, for example, have also been vocal about situations like this to how my children that I get it. The children rewarded for nothing will not grow up with resilience, will think they can succeed without doing any work and unfortunately this will have a far bigger impact on them when they are teenagers/adults.

I think the best thing you can do as a parent is let you kinds know you see what is happening, you don't agree with it and make sure your children are rewarded when they have put the effort in, tried their best.

There is often a general assumption that the quieter well behaved kids all have a brilliant home life, and no problems. However, some personalities, particularly girls, often turn things in on themselves and don’t present as disruptive. That’s why SEN is diagnosed less often in girls. It’s important to encourage all children, many of the non disruptive also have problems to deal with.

I totally agree, shout outs, or certificates or anything like that just demotivates the majority. They are better just giving individual feedback for individual pieces of work that are well executed

At my dds school they used to give an ‘always award’. This was for the children who always tried hard, were always kind and always helpful to others. My dd got one every term. She deserved it. Then they went back to rewarding the very best at everything and the very naughty children. It’s just shit.

Write an email to the HT explaining you opinion. It may help them to take a more balanced view.

It's a type of differentiation. Just like the high attaining math students get less math input, the students with good behaviour get less behaviour input. Maybe you could talk to your dd about how she is not always going to get everything she wants and sometimes things might not look fair even if they are.

I've fed back to a head teacher that she was in danger of losing the 'good ones' by not recognising them more. Most parents know that the children getting Stars of the Week earliest are usually the most badly behaved or poor with their standard of work, but the children don't see this. Get a lot of Head Teacher awards? It's because your work or behaviour is normally a bit crap and for once you've shown the right values.

I agree that @sunflower1988 has the right idea with her 'green behaviour' incentives - it was a similar thing I suggested to the aforementioned HT. Ideally a child should be given specific praise, not all the time, and the reward be pride in their own work!

You need to raise it with the teacher op. DD was painfully shy in reception. Would burst into tears if another child spoke to her. She had an awesome teacher that really built her confidence up and took her under her wing.

She went into year 1 as a happy, confident child that sat beautifully and followed instructions. She was completely overlooked! It was such an obvious difference from the first year. I mentioned it to her new teacher at parents evening, that she looked confident but was still anxious underneath it all and the teacher took it all on board and started giving her extra praise. The difference in DD was immediate and she was so much happier (before lockdown!). It doesn't matter how much praise they get from parents, recognition from their teacher makes them feel special.

Definitely email the head. Chances are he/she will be mortified, as they forget that those hard workers may feel forgotten/unmotivated as a result. It probably hasn’t dawned on them.
I went to a lovely infant school, but never got reward stickers as I was always a good hard working kid. I was leaving as we were moving. My mum mentioned to the head in passing that I’d said I might be naughty in my final days as I would get stickers then before I left. I got loads in my last week 😂
I totally get some kids need that extra motivation- but they do need to remember those who get on with it too xx

That's life. Happened when I was at school in the 80s, happened when DS and DD were at school in the 2000/2010's.

You can count on the nightmare thug kids getting the full complement of certificates and merit badges while the quiet kids who do all their work and are so little trouble that the teachers barely know who they are, just sit there and watch.