Head teacher doing “shout outs”

[Atalune]

Head of large secondary is doing positive shout outs for children who are deserving.

And as bloody usual it is the majority of really bloody naughty kids who are doing sweet FA! Or those who are struggling with their mental health ( I do not grudge these)

As an ex teacher I KNOW it is important to motivate the ones who need it. The ones who are low. But I am so fed up.

Dd- she really thought he would get one this week- full marks in the work, work submitted is of a high quality, she’s joined all the lives. SHe’s keen she’s engaged. Did she get one? Nope. Her friend who is doing fuck all and crying all day long and doing no work is getting them all the time.

I DO understand that those who are struggling need more. I do I do. But I am so fed up of the kids who are working hard, doing well. What about them? Always overlooked! And so now she’s crying and saying what’s the point?! It is unfair. I can’t email the school we will look like total brats.

Grrrrr, life isn’t fair.

Just a vent. I’m on the edge today.

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer erm read the OP? She said it’s the naughty kids who are doing sweet FA.

The things is is that schools are not doing the kids who refuse to work any favours either because when they get into the work place they will not understand that if they do little they won't get on. Explain to your dd that the teachers know her work is high quality and the shout outs do not actually represent good work or even good effort they are just to encourage poorly motivated students. I know exactly how you feel because my foster son goes to a special school but is talented at sport. At school at Prize giving they give one prize for achievement and one for effort in each subject plus a few extra most helpful student sort of prizes and attendance awards. My foster child plays cricket at county level (disability), was put up for an England trial (disability), is captain for his age group cricket team, swims for his town, won the county aqathlon series in that academic year, won the 200 and 800 metres at his school sports day. Children could only enter 2 events each. He was also captain of school cricket and rounders team and one of 3 children selected to represent his school.cross country team. He struggles academicly but was hoping to win the Sports award for ability. The prize for Sport achievement was given to a child who is not in any school sport team but they apparently help the teacher pack away equipment in their break time. We could understand if they got Sport effort award but no this is apparently a greater sporting achievement than foster child's trophies. I did mention at pep DC was very disappointed that his sporting achievements were not recognised by school. Foster son refused to represent school in cross country, football, rounders and cricket following year. When he was asked by his PE teacher he told his teacher to ask the winner of sport award to represent school. Teacher had nerve to phone home to get us to get him to play. We backed up foster son and said he was snubbed at award ceremony in favour of pupil X so teacher can hardly expect him to give up his own time to train with school team as he would be busy training with county team. Foster child now understands some teachers give awards to children who cry if they don't win but it does not mean anything and does not make these children good at things.

I’m just glad our DD’s school rewards pupils for the right reasons, eg. Because she handed in all her work this week, or because she produced some excellent creative writing or he got the top score in the maths test etc etc. I don’t know why some schools seem to be doing the opposite. It’s bizarre. Rewards should be well deserved.

YABU. My son misbehaves and he doesn’t get them. My two daughters behave and sometimes do, sometimes don’t. I think it depends on the school.

It’s sadly been this way in secondary school for years. The naughty ones get the attention and often the special treats, the good ones usually get ignored. I remember in my secondary school the naughtiest ones got sent on special school trips with the learning mentors.

the naughtiest ones got sent on special school trips with the learning mentors.

this is absolutely shocking

[quote WhatToDo82]@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer erm read the OP? She said it’s the naughty kids who are doing sweet FA.[/quote]
she wrote "the majority" actually...

Iremember in my secondary school the naughtiest ones got sent on special school trips with the learning mentors.

You know those school trips are often funded by social work for kids who are either in care or on the edge of being removed from their families. They’re done to give kids time out of whatever chaos they’re living with (which often shows in behaviour) and are part of a package of support for kids who have practically nothing else. We would run the trips on school days because parents would stop their children going at the weekend or out of school hours because that would interfere with whatever the parents wanted them to do that weekend. Doing it in school hours meant the kids actually got to go.

The level of judgement, misunderstanding and jealousy on this thread shows no one in a good light.

I can see both sides of this. The adult me totally understands the reasons behind the shout outs, but the child in me still vividly remembers the feeling of sitting in y7 assembly listening to every single person in my tutor group get a 'nomination' except me. I was a really conscientious student and it knocked my confidence a lot.

Doing it in school hours meant the kids actually got to go.

it also means they are very obviously put apart by the school and the rest of the school get confirmation.

So not only it's bad for the ones who feel excluded
but it's even worst for the ones who made to feel once again like outsiders. Because the school is making it clear they are.

Brilliant. Who designed these schemes. We all know how much teenagers enjoy the feeling of "not fitting in".
Shocking doesn't cover it.

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

"If a kid works very hard and is receiving no recognition whatsoever, the message is that hard work is pointless and no one will notice."

But I am sure they receive recognition from their teachers, just maybe not from HT.

We talk to our children about recogbition being effort based. So some children find sitting nicely on a chair challenging, some find asking for help challenging. My 2 children are bright and engaged at school and could easily fall into the overlooked category. However they both have things that they find difficult, one is sleep and the other has clothing issues. This means they understand and celebrate with other children when they get rewarded for effort in something they have found difficult - not necessarily for being the best. Not sure I would want mine rewarded for their normal level of effort despite that being excellent grades because they don't find that particularly challenging.

I get it! I remember being very clever as a young child, and the teacher basically used me as a teaching assistant. I used to help children with their spellings in the library and there was a girl who was home schooled and couldn’t read so the teacher sat her next to me so I could help her. I was 6. But I get it because there was only 1 teacher and a big class so the students who do well are never going to be the focus. On the bright side it sets you up to being independent and self-motivated if you channel it right.

So not only it's bad for the ones who feel excluded
but it's even worst for the ones who made to feel once again like outsiders. Because the school is making it clear they are.

They’re outsiders anyway, you honestly think these kids don’t know what’s said about them, that they don’t know people have the ignorant and offensive attitudes shown on this thread? And that they somehow don’t know their lives are chaotic, don’t know they have social work support, don’t know they aren’t living the same lives as their peers.

They’re outsiders when they’re uniform doesn’t quite look right, or they don’t have the equipment they need for school, or can’t cope with the work set, or can’t manage their behaviour. When their parents won’t go to parents night, or their belongings are sold to pay for drugs, or they don’t have the money for cooking ingredients.

They’re made to feel like outsiders by the very people who complain about their behaviour, or them getting any kind of recognition or support for trying to live with huge degrees of uncertainty. Being included in a trip somewhere is the very least of it. But the trio might give them a break, some headspace, the chance to do things they wouldn’t otherwise have the opportunity to do.

It's still very wrong to discriminate and leave children out.

Good on parents who don't stand for it, and shame on the very short-sighted people who think that because a child seems ok or "privileged" it's fine to ignore them.

If you have to make things up, it shows how wrong you are
When their parents won’t go to parents night
Kids don't have a clue, or give a monkey, if other parents go to parents night for a start.

@Jellycatspyjamas well kitted out children getting good grades can also have utterly shitty lives you know. I can't even write down what DS experienced due to his dad. The assumption that if you are well behaved/studious/ have nice uniform then you life is easy is ridiculous.

Lots of abuse/bereavement/neglect happens in "naice" families too. And as this thread demonstrates, people are willfully blind to it. We never know what another child is really dealing with

The assumption that if you are well behaved/studious/ have nice uniform then you life is easy is ridiculous.

I was one of those kids, well presented, academic but hellish home life. The difference being I wasn’t removed from my family, I didn’t have meetings every 3-6 months to decide where I might be living, I wasn’t living in a place where the people raising me were being paid to do so and could change their mind at any point. I wasn’t shunted from pillar to post, the world and their gran didn’t know every bad thing that had happened to me. I wasn’t labelled as different or outside the mainstream.

The threshold for social work involvement is incredibly high, especially for older kids, most are hugely traumatised by the time services get involved in any meaningful way and need support, time and investment in them as people to function on any level. I’d not grudge them a certificate, a star badge or a field trip.

If you think your child needs more support you can ask for it or arrange it privately, or be incredibly thankful your child is in a caring, secure home environment where you can offer the encouragement and affirmation they need.

If you have to make things up, it shows how wrong you are
When their parents won’t go to parents night
Kids don't have a clue, or give a monkey, if other parents go to parents night for a start.

What am I making up? Other kids might not know about parents night, but the teaching staff do. Other kids do notice about uniform, or school equipment, or how their peers behave.

These kids are known as having difficulties by school staff, parents make assumptions about them, mainstream kids exclude them - they know full well they’re outside.

The point still stands @Iknowwhatudidlastsummer - neither you nor the OP have any idea whether the kids getting the shout outs are deserving or not. How on earth does the OP know if the majority of kids getting the shout outs are naughty ones doing sweet FA? They’re being home-schooled for Christ’s sake. A lot of assumptions being made here and it makes the OP sound a bit judgmental and precious. In most schools, all the kids will get their turn for shout outs or star of the week for example, in my experience. I have no doubt that their teachers are giving them praise when they hand their work in and that the parent is also giving plenty of praise. As for head teacher praise, it’s highly likely the child will get their turn. Why should she get the shout out first and above other children who might be trying just as hard as her if not harder? The point is the OP doesn’t know.

Other kids do notice about uniform

they might

but you do realise that in many schools (not all!) the wealthiest families are the least bothered about uniforms?

Lots of abuse/bereavement/neglect happens in "naice" families too. And as this thread demonstrates, people are willfully blind to it. We never know what another child is really dealing with
Welcome to Mumsnet, where safeguarding is considered by some to a needless intrusion into the lives of naice people because it would never happen there.
It's frankly concerning. On here people advise speaking to parents directly if there's a concern about a child and get positively furious at any mention of following safeguarding policies as teachers and social workers are evil people who want to ruin families. The correct answer is to turn a blind eye because 'maybe it was a bad day' with a healthy dose of 'here come the perfect parents'.

It's very odd, a thread about a child not getting an award in the early days in the large secondary school can end up with the conclusion that MNetters turn the blind eyes to safe guarding issues.

Not read the full thread but imo kids do get overpraised these days.

A friend gained a job in a junior school and in her opinion the level of overpraising (and lack of expecting kids to be able to take responsibility) was incredible.

Very much along the lines of 'well done Joe, you've opened your book and are looking at the right page'.... gold 🌟 all round

Xerochrysum
It's odd for posters to comment on the fact that throughout this thread there's posters making huge assumptions about children's home lives based on how nice an outsider thinks child's background is?

Or odd to notice that assuming that children from 'nice'backgrounds have lovely home lives is exactly the sort of attitude that is considered hugely problematic from a safeguarding perspective?

Or odd to notice that one problematic attitude to safeguarding coincides with other problematic attitudes to safeguarding on here?