Head teacher doing “shout outs”

[Atalune]

Head of large secondary is doing positive shout outs for children who are deserving.

And as bloody usual it is the majority of really bloody naughty kids who are doing sweet FA! Or those who are struggling with their mental health ( I do not grudge these)

As an ex teacher I KNOW it is important to motivate the ones who need it. The ones who are low. But I am so fed up.

Dd- she really thought he would get one this week- full marks in the work, work submitted is of a high quality, she’s joined all the lives. SHe’s keen she’s engaged. Did she get one? Nope. Her friend who is doing fuck all and crying all day long and doing no work is getting them all the time.

I DO understand that those who are struggling need more. I do I do. But I am so fed up of the kids who are working hard, doing well. What about them? Always overlooked! And so now she’s crying and saying what’s the point?! It is unfair. I can’t email the school we will look like total brats.

Grrrrr, life isn’t fair.

Just a vent. I’m on the edge today.

I would email them.

Some kids have mountains to climb that we cant even begin to understand and mostly cant even see

Yes, but so do many of the well behaved and diligent children. My son has gone through a whole heap of unbelievably awful stuff but throughout it kept behaving and kept working hard. And school just took that for granted and doled out certificates to the naughty children

@Snaketime

You should email them and say what you have said her, that you understand some kids need the extra motivation, but your DD who was very motivated is now not motivated at all and doesn't see the point in doing the work, I mean how is that helpful?

I agree. The ones who are working hard and doing well need to be praised, or they will start to wonder what the point is.

Reminds me of how demoralised my son was at never getting the class bear because it was always the naughty ones who got it.

DD is in year 3 but hasn’t been “star of the week” since year 1. They are meant to all be star of the week once a year but she wasn’t picked before the schools closed last year and then this year she hasn’t been picked either as I think the system for tracking who has been it has gone out the window.

She’s hard working and very well behaved and relatively quiet. It’s a shame as I know it really upsets her but she would never say so to the teacher.

It's happened since I was in school and now as a teacher I challenge it when I see it.

If a 'naughty' child has had a good week and made improvements then I'm 100% on board with rewarding them, and take a dim view of any parent who complains that the child they look down on should not be rewarded. But, and this is key, it should go hand in hand with rewards going to lots of children as part of a fair system.

I actually find that it is the middle of the road children who get left out - often the high flyers are praised for amazing work and the students who have complex needs or are difficult, are praised for effort. This leaves the ones in the middle who don't produce amazing work, nor are struggling overtly, left without as much praise.

It's amazing

you have endless threads about children mental health being shot to pieces
and there's not many people who think that there's anything remotely positive for the kids in lockdown

meanwhile you still find posters defending the rewards and praise of the naughty kids and who look down at the quiet ones with consistent hard work and effort.

I am sure some privileged children have been taken away in luxury holiday properties abroad and enjoy the lockdown, but the majority stuck at home is not having a holiday or a good time. Shame on the schools who ignore them

It wasn't until I worked in a school that I realised I don't care if my kids never get a headteacher award. The last three weeks our HT has given them to: a child whose parents were both doing too many drugs at home to care for them, a child whose parenting is so uninvolved that she can only say a few words at age 4, and a boy whose mother told him that his homeschooling was shit and he was thick. So if you are worried your child not getting an award, take her out for ice cream or cuddle her and watch a movie. Some of those kids might get a shout out and literally nothing else positive from adults in their lives.

@MakeMineALarge1

It is unfair, why do we never reward the good students and bend over backwards to support and molly coddle others? Why are we feeding this?

Because it's too much efforttoshowthe naughty ones up and their behavipr comes with a barrage of excuses

So if you are worried your child not getting an award, take her out for ice cream or cuddle her and watch a movie. Some of those kids might get a shout out and literally nothing else positive from adults in their lives.
That doesn't mean that it's acceptable for schools to ignore and take for granted many of their students.

Also, in my experience, poorly thought through but well-intentioned praise for those doing very little has an ongoing negative effect.

If someone has genuinely worked hard and turned a corner, then absolutely reward them for that, even if their performance and behaviour is lower than another student. The reward is for the act of resilience, making good choices, improving in an area. Doing that recognises the process and the action.

Giving a child a shout out or a reward for a piece of work that they know they threw together in 5 minutes and didn't bother with doesn't tell that child you think they are great. It tells that child that you expect so little of them that they get lavish praise for very little, and so the child learns that not only do the adults are home think little of them, but the teachers who should be raising aspirations also don't think they're capable of much.

A child in the middle who is a wallflower child with a nice home could work hard every day and not be recognised. They go lesson to lesson not being recognised, so they stop trying because why bother when parents expect it and teachers take them for granted because they're too busy fussing over the two extremes in the class. Because they blend in and aren't disruptive, nobody notices or pays attention, until it's an exam year and the teachers start piling the pressure on because the spreadsheet tells them that the quiet child who's been ignored isn't actually doing very well.

So if you are worried your child not getting an award, take her out for ice cream or cuddle her and watch a movie.

what a stupid comment.

We are talking about the school having a duty towards ALL the children, not parenting.

If your boss justify giving the bonus and raise you deserved to an incompetent colleague by telling you: they're single but your husband can take you out for ice cream, you'd be ok with it?

Complete opposite for us, ds has moderate learning difficulties, autism / adhd. He receives sweet fuck all, child with a learning disability gone up 4 reading levels in 5 months but nope give the awards to the same children that have always received them.

Same for maths awards, it’s taken ds 3 years to learn something it takes most children 5 minutes, that in itself is an achievement that he’s finally grasped it but nope don’t reward him for it. Reward the child who’s on their fifth certificate of this year etc etc.

Annoys me, it’s like he’s not recognised because he’s on his own planet and wouldn’t realise what the certificate was for 😡

They tag me in the award assembly every Friday (still happening throughout school closures) have done for years and he’s never been in it. Hardly call it inclusion.

So no, it’s not always the ‘naughty’ children...

danni0509, that is unacceptable. If the teachers cannot reward such a hard work, I do feel very disappointed. I would definitely speak to the teacher in your case.

I think the problem is that many schools seem to have generic types of recognition that lump in rewarding both excellence and improvement so it gets very confusing to children as to exactly why someone has been recognised. Things like "star of the week" need to be mentioned with clear explanations as to why someone has been recognised and really, for younger children, should be shared around. I mean in a whole school year each child in a class of 30 should have either demonstrated excellence or show improvement at least once to justify an award.

Saying that, while I was at school such awards were always given to the chosen few, so it was no better in the past, only different.

It is interesting the younger of my DC's school (primary) seem to have stopped awards altogether. I suspect the head, who is very good, knows that they are probably more trouble than they are worth at these times.

OP, as an ex teacher, have you explained to your DD what is really going on here.
Life lesson- in the real world no one gets a uni place or a job based on head teacher shout outs.
Make sure she recognises what is really important. You can reward her for her academic successes yourself and that should mean more to her than a fake school shoutout.

Such a shame so many of your on here experiencing the same thing! And yes we did have the “life is unfair” speech today. He gets it. It’s a shitty life lesson!

Life is unfair works both ways. If you are born able, then it may seem really unfair for the kids who were born not so able and struggles.
Hard work is for your own sake, and it will certainly be rewarded in more meaningful ways than just getting an awards that you forget about in few years.

Yabu. The reward of the hard work is exam grades that will last a lifetime. As a teacher you should know this. My dds realised they had it a lot cushier liking school and doing well than ds who hates it and doesn't work so hard.

People are missing the point

If a kid works very hard and is receiving no recognition whatsoever, the message is that hard work is pointless and no one will notice.

It's worst with primary school obviously, but exams are light-years away.
Grades are completely meaningless so far away, and you are telling the kids that working hard is not enough! What 12 or 13 year old cares about a Uni place right now? they can't even have a birthday party FFS.

I can't think of any adult who would exercise hard for the sake of exercising hard. You do it because you see results. If nothing happens, you are doing something very wrong.

In the middle of a pandemic as well, it would cost nothing for a school to boost the kids and cheer them up a bit. If a teacher can't find anything to praise 2 or 3 pupils from their class a week, there's something very wrong with them.

The reward of the hard work is exam grades that will last a lifetime.

Even that isn’t true, my daughter works incredibly hard but will in all likelihood not get exam results that last a lifetime. So I really think it’s small minded of the parents who grudge her a “star pupil” badge, their children have opportunities available to them that she’ll always struggle to access.

YA(a bit)U Aristotle once said “The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.” Your DD is engaged and willing, she has supportive family and a good learning environment. She will be able to capitalize on her education when she is older and have choices in life. Many of the children getting the 'shout out' may not get any other support or praise and will not be so lucky. You should just praise her yourself and say how much she is helping the teachers and other students, as well as herself, by working towards her goals.

Isn't getting top marks it's own reward?

How do you know that the kids being rewarded are doing sweet FA? Surely you can’t see the work they are submitting? I have an 8 year old who has been working really hard at home. She got the first shout out in the first of the January virtual assemblies. I’d like to think it’s because she had worked really hard and submitted literally every piece of work, not because she needs motivation or that she’s naughty?! I am also in a mums WhatsApp group where I have not admitted to how much work we are doing at home, only because I don’t want my mum friends who are working themselves and struggling with the schoolwork to feel bad. So I act as though we also aren’t getting through it all. So I’m just wondering how you know the kids getting shout outs aren’t doing great work? I’m sure your daughter’s turn will come! How often are these shout outs? In our kids’ school they make sure everyone gets one at some point in the term for something genuinely good.

How do you know that the kids being rewarded are doing sweet FA?
no one had said that either

I am also in a mums WhatsApp group where I have not admitted to how much work we are doing at home