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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu about my birthday

143 replies

AOwlAOwlAOwl · 03/02/2021 19:22

I'm 40 today. I told my husband I wanted a nice present and some nice food - quite a lot of scope there, he's a good cook and we have some very good restaurants doing 'dinner at home' type boxes for delivery.

We both WFH today, no scope for either of us to get the day off btw.

I had some flowers delivered and a lovely cake with my name on it and a card. My main present is apparently coming on Saturday. If it is what I hope it is it will be fantastic, but I don't know for sure. No clue in the card I got today.

I finished work at 5 and went for a walk on my own. Just before I left my husband said he couldn't get a dinner delivery so he was going to order takeaway, what did I want. When I came back he had PJ's on and was sat in front of the TV like we do most evenings.

The food that arrived was rubbish, I had a little cry and told my husband I was disappointed. He's gone to cook something now, bless him. But I feel let down and sad.

OP posts:
Mydogmylife · 03/02/2021 21:13

@AOwlAOwlAOwl

I love how some people put the worst possible interpretation of the issue in aibu, it's very entertaining. Some of you sound like you could start a fight in an empty room Grin

I would have loved to go for a walk btw. I think I mentioned that.

I rather thought it was you starting the fight though. And yes you did mention the walk. Several times .
drinkstoomuchwine · 03/02/2021 21:14

OP .... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
APPALLING effort on behalf of your husband. I would feel upset and terribly let down. Can never understand responses from people who act like a moon pig card would suffice on a day like today.
The evening is still young ... can you grab some wine, ring a friend, put on some music you love?
And deal with husband later in the week.
Also please buy yourself something fabulous...

oobedobe · 03/02/2021 21:17

I'd be disappointed with that too OP especially as it was your 40!

My husband is not that good at birthdays but for my 40th he surprised me with lots of friends and family wishing me HBD on a video clip montage, cost him nothing but it was very thoughtful and emotional for me as we live overseas and have lots of old friends we go years without seeing.

It was his 50th last month, I made sure to decorate the house with 50th signs/balloons etc, made a special cake, got the DC to make cards, and arranged a socially distanced outdoor visit from friends where we sat outside in camping chairs drinking champagne (this was allowed at the time).

So unlike a lot of posters I think a special effort can be made even in lockdown!!

drinkstoomuchwine · 03/02/2021 21:17

And shame on you people piling onto a woman disappointed that her own husband could barely make an effort.
On her 40th birthday.
Happy birthday again OP!

bluerad · 03/02/2021 21:17

@WorraLiberty

Fuck me, I bet he's dreading Saturday 😂😂
Yep I thought that too. That's why I asked what the OP thought the present was going to be. No response yet. Poor bloke.
fatisnotafeeling · 03/02/2021 21:22

It's also my 40th today, so happy birthday and also to Stardust.

My husband and DC made a lovely effort for me but I think due to it being lockdown it just feels rather crap anyway. Perhaps that's why you are feeling like this.

I love Lego and got the big Harry Potter castle, what are you expecting on Saturday do you think ?

drinkstoomuchwine · 03/02/2021 21:25

Happy special birthday too @fatisnotafeeling

Sparkletastic · 03/02/2021 21:27

He could and should have put more effort in. I'm glad he's at least sorting a better dinner.

SleepingStandingUp · 03/02/2021 21:29

it's not your 40th. lockdown birthdays don't count. happy 39th birthday. make sure you let him know what to do next year for your big 40th.

TillyTopper · 03/02/2021 21:29

Wow! I'm sorry but you sound seriously hard work. You had a card and flowers, DH got a takeaway (ok - they don't always work out), you have a present coming, he spent the evening with you. To not be pleased and to actually cry sounds a way over the top reaction to me.

Winterpaw · 03/02/2021 21:33

Happy birthday Cakehowever I do think you sound rather ungrateful. You should be more appreciative of what you have.

Flowed delivered, a cake, pressie arriving at the weekend..and takeaway is a treat for so many people. If it's not a treat for you anymore then maybe you are taking it for granted.

Your post sounds like it was written by a sulky teen or twenty something not a forty year old!Shock

oldyellerbeller · 03/02/2021 21:39

Is this a wind up?!

thinkful · 03/02/2021 21:41

Happy birthday @fatisnotafeeling

DurhamDurham · 03/02/2021 21:41

For your husband's sake I really hope you like your present when it turns up on Saturday. If not he's going to have the weekend from hell with an upset, angry, disappointed wife.

#pleaseletthepresentbeenough

Figgyboa · 03/02/2021 21:42

I think you're being a little unreasonable.....flowers, cake and a present coming on the weekend? Sounds like a good covid bday

Kittykat93 · 03/02/2021 21:43

You sound like a right git tbh

LaceyBetty · 03/02/2021 21:45

Happy Birthday OP! I'd not be thrilled that my husband couldn't sort my 40th Birthday present for the actual day to be honest. Also, a last-minute takeaway is no treat either (not everyone considers takeaways a treat). A 40th is a big deal IMO.

toocold54 · 03/02/2021 22:08

Happy birthday OP and to everyone else whose birthday it is on here.

It would have been nice to have the gift delivered on your bday but I would say things are probably taking longer/not in stock as much as usual times. What is the gift you are hoping for?

IMNOTSHOUTING · 03/02/2021 22:26

MN is full of such nasty people you're also a bunch of weirdos. It's totally normal to want a bit of effort made on your 40th birthday. A shitty take away in front of the TV isn't effort. Obviously you can't go out to a restaurant but you could clear the dining room table and have a nice meal. A bunch of flowers isn't a thoughtful gift either.

I wouldn't worry about the comments OP.

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/02/2021 22:34

What do you have against his pyjamas? It seems like a thing.

TonytheDog · 03/02/2021 23:11

Bloody hell - you cried over a take away? Have you checked the fit on your diamond shoes?

Original poster
AOwlAOwlAOwl · 03/02/2021 23:13

I hope all of you with landmark birthdays today/tomorrow/recently have a nice day.

I'd have been 110% happy with today on any other birthday, I just felt like a bit of extra special effort on the day of my 40th would be warranted.

I know I haven't said what the thing is I'm hoping for on Saturday but I don't want to jinx it. It's a craft item that someone has to make bespoke. So maybe that's why there's a delay. Hopefully!

OP posts:
hulahooper2 · 03/02/2021 23:17

Your an adult , we are in a pandemic , you got cake cards takeaway and present to look forward to , what more do you expect

Normandy144 · 03/02/2021 23:23

I agree with you. He should have planned it better to ensure the gift arrived in your birthday and he should have booked dinner in advance to avoid that happening. I think for a big milestone birthday in lockdown you should go the extra mile to make sure it's the best it can possibly be.

MarthasGinYard · 03/02/2021 23:26

How long have you been married Op?

Happy birthday Cake