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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu about my birthday

143 replies

AOwlAOwlAOwl · 03/02/2021 19:22

I'm 40 today. I told my husband I wanted a nice present and some nice food - quite a lot of scope there, he's a good cook and we have some very good restaurants doing 'dinner at home' type boxes for delivery.

We both WFH today, no scope for either of us to get the day off btw.

I had some flowers delivered and a lovely cake with my name on it and a card. My main present is apparently coming on Saturday. If it is what I hope it is it will be fantastic, but I don't know for sure. No clue in the card I got today.

I finished work at 5 and went for a walk on my own. Just before I left my husband said he couldn't get a dinner delivery so he was going to order takeaway, what did I want. When I came back he had PJ's on and was sat in front of the TV like we do most evenings.

The food that arrived was rubbish, I had a little cry and told my husband I was disappointed. He's gone to cook something now, bless him. But I feel let down and sad.

OP posts:
Besom · 03/02/2021 20:26

Aww OP hope you have a nice weekend to make up for it.

Christmasfairy2020 · 03/02/2021 20:26

Err my god talk about having a 40th birthday crisis.

user1493494961 · 03/02/2021 20:29

You sound hard work OP but I do love a good birthday thread.

EcoCustard · 03/02/2021 20:32

I had a big birthday a few weeks ago and it was rubbish, more so than my non big birthdays. It’s a shit time and can understand that it would of been nice if a bit more effort would of been made for it to feel special without having to ask or remind.

Happy Birthday OP it’s lockdown, winter and your birthday your entitled to feel sad and let down.

Wanderlust20 · 03/02/2021 20:33

Maybe a little bit unreasonable but completely understandable, everything is rubbish right now and I think big birthdays/anniversaries make it even worse! I hope you get the surprise you're expecting on Saturday, happy birthday! Flowers

Chattercino · 03/02/2021 20:33

High maintenance

toocold54 · 03/02/2021 20:33

You do sound very unreasonable and quite spoilt - I think he has made a massive effort especially in the middle of a lockdown!

Do you think that you are sad about your birthday/turning 40 - it seems you have nothing nice to say so I feel like nothing would be right as it’s actually the day you’re sad about (I always get secretly sad on my birthday and New Years).

Original poster
AOwlAOwlAOwl · 03/02/2021 20:33

I love how some people put the worst possible interpretation of the issue in aibu, it's very entertaining. Some of you sound like you could start a fight in an empty room Grin

I would have loved to go for a walk btw. I think I mentioned that.

OP posts:
kowari · 03/02/2021 20:36

You still have your birthday weekend to go for a lovely walk though? Nicer than after work in the dark.

VinylDetective · 03/02/2021 20:36

Poor bloody husband.

IMNOTSHOUTING · 03/02/2021 20:37

Don't worry OP it's a MN to be competitive about how little you should care about your birthday (I actually don't like a fuss at all on my birthday but don't have a problem if people want a bit of a fuss).

Picktionary · 03/02/2021 20:38

OP, I am sorry people are trying to make you feel small and calling you names. I am not sure why they are doing that - I think its about them not you. A 40th is generally meant to be a little more special but I am sure the present on Saturday will make up for it. Can you do some birthday fun on Zoom with friends at the weekend?

Unsubscribed · 03/02/2021 20:43

I'm slightly worried for your DH in case you don't like the gift that turns up at the weekend Grin

adeleh · 03/02/2021 20:46

I hope you enjoy the rest of your birthday, OP. You’ve had a rough time on here.

thinkful · 03/02/2021 20:51

Happy birthday OP. Wow some people are mean on here. Of course you want some special treatment for your birthday, let alone such a special one (I'm also 40 in a few days). It's the lockdown and everything else, feels like he has little else to do than put a lot of effort into treating you. I hope you both make up for it with a nice weekend or a nice day when you're next off work together

Shrivelled · 03/02/2021 20:51

Happy 1st lockdown birthday!! As it’s your first you won’t know the standard format is to have a cry and eat shit food. It’s not a lockdown birthday without those things. Oh and scruffy loungewear is essential, no one dresses up on a lockdown birthday.

toocold54 · 03/02/2021 20:54

Some of you sound like you could start a fight in an empty room

😂
You moaned about the food, about the walk, about what he was wearing/doing when you returned,about your gift - it sounds like you’re the one who could start a fight in an empty room Grin

thinkful · 03/02/2021 20:54

@Stardust98

It’s my 40th also today OP it’s an emotional one anyway I think and it was never going to be how I’d always imagined it because of lockdown.. but let’s face it we are lucky to be celebrating it at all given how many people have suffered at the hands of this pandemic - so yes YABU and you know it.

Happy birthday though and hopefully many more to come! Flowers

Happy birthday stardust!
Vivi0 · 03/02/2021 20:56

@AOwlAOwlAOwl

I love how some people put the worst possible interpretation of the issue in aibu, it's very entertaining. Some of you sound like you could start a fight in an empty room Grin

I would have loved to go for a walk btw. I think I mentioned that.

Yeah, the problem with that though is that you mentioned it to us, not your husband.
CharlotteRose90 · 03/02/2021 20:58

Happy birthday but you sound like effort. He’s made an effort and your present is coming Saturday. He tried his best and you don’t like it. Some people get nothing

bitliketonyhares · 03/02/2021 21:01

He must be absolutely shitting himself over Saturday - Christ. He tried, and you cried. He ordered you food, you hated it and so made you something. You're now still annoyed he's in his pyjamas. You're hard work op.

Shimmyshimmycocobop · 03/02/2021 21:03

@Cam2020

Honestly, 2 of my DC turned 18 and 21 during lockdown.

Really not how they'd always imagined those birthdays to be but neither of them would've considered crying over a takeaway. Thank the lord.

As disappointing as that must have been for them, I don't think 18th and 21st birthdays are as emotionally loaded as some other birthdays. Some people are more sensitive about 'big' birthdays.

But you only get to be 21 and 18 once, 40 year olds should be able to manage disappointment a bit better than young adults.

We often see women on here who get fuck all for their birthdays in this instance I think YABU.

Starlightstarbright1 · 03/02/2021 21:04

Gosh.. i was expecting a far worse birthday.

It sounds like his efforts aren't good enough..

AliceinBunniland · 03/02/2021 21:06

I think you are overreacting

I'm not sure why he couldn't organise a dinner delivery but he ordered take away abs it's not his fault you didn't like it. He's now cooking as well. You have a gift on the way and I hope it's something you like.

You were annoying he has his PJs on??

I get that it's a "big" birthday but it's hard to do anything at the moment. Maybe you could have organised a Zoom party or asked your DH to but generally they are a bit shit and it's not something my DH would think to do unprompted.

Darbs76 · 03/02/2021 21:09

You’re being ridiculous - you’re 40! If the food was so important probably better to have organised yourself.