Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend has taken me for a mug?

601 replies

PenAndPaperback · 02/02/2021 19:02

Back in December, I made an online listing for my 2018 MacBook on Facebook marketplace and received a ton of 'lowball' offers or people asking me to drive an hour plus to deliver it to their place. A friend of mine messaged me, telling me that her current laptop had broken down and that she's having trouble finding work because of that (she's a freelancer).

She asked if I could 'sell' it to her first and that she'd pay it back in instalments after paying off her kids' stuff etc, before telling me that she would get back to me because she had to calculate everything. She eventually came up with a payment plan that lasted almost 2 years and I told her that I'd just give it to her as I didn't need the money and that if I were to bring it in for 'trade-in' I was told that I'd get basically nothing for it anyway.

So I dropped it off in her mailbox, and I thought that that was that. Fast forward to last week, she was sending me screenshots on her computer, and it was on a Windows laptop! I asked her in a semi-joking way, oh, did the MacBook spoil and she said that no, she's just using her old laptop and that she's using the one I sent her for 'storage'. If I had known she didn't really need it I definitely wouldn't have given it to her!

I'm not going to ask for it back, of course. But AIBU to be a bit miffed off by all this?

OP posts:
FilthyforFirth · 03/02/2021 17:35

If she is a hunbot, and it sounds like she is (BIG SURPRISE THERE!) I would defo go with a public facebook post.

Petty? Yes. But undountedly will hit her where it hurts as her 'business' is based on there.

feistyoneyouare · 03/02/2021 17:42

@FilthyforFirth

If she is a hunbot, and it sounds like she is (BIG SURPRISE THERE!) I would defo go with a public facebook post.

Petty? Yes. But undountedly will hit her where it hurts as her 'business' is based on there.

Hunbot Grin
caringcarer · 03/02/2021 17:46

Everyone else uses a pen drive to back up and store files or an external hard drive. No one I know would use an old computer to save files on. I think she has sold it.

slashlover · 03/02/2021 17:52

@caringcarer

Everyone else uses a pen drive to back up and store files or an external hard drive. No one I know would use an old computer to save files on. I think she has sold it.
Really? I'm surprised that nobody in the past 450 messages has suggested this.
tobedtoMNandfart · 03/02/2021 17:54

Oh dear. No good deed goes unpunished as usual.

It must smart a bit that you hand delivered the fucking thing to her.

She never was a friend. She was an acquaintance. Then she was just a ex colleague. Now she's a lying fucker.

tobedtoMNandfart · 03/02/2021 17:57

@slashlover yeah you'd think someone else would have already suggested that - right?!

AnnieKenney · 03/02/2021 18:00

I haven't RTFT but I wonder if the OP has thought of cancelling the cheque? Grin

changingmine · 03/02/2021 18:05

You did a lovely thing based on the knowledge you had and your friend took advantage and damaged the friendship irreparably.

I could get past the selling of it if she'd come clean and made an effort to put things right but I can't abide a liar 😔

GreenlandTheMovie · 03/02/2021 18:08

You could invent some embarassing/valuable photos stored on it and so you desperately need it back to copy them or something.

Personally, I'd just confront her by saying "You've sold it, haven't you?" and ask her to pay for it. And keep on at her until she feels pressurised to send you a cheque. She's no friend, and well worth losing but don't let yourself be walked over!

Yesmate · 03/02/2021 18:09

I would ask for it back. You don’t have to be shitty about it just say “as you don’t need it can I have it back so I can sell it”

Yesmate · 03/02/2021 18:10

Sorry I thought there was only one page and then my comment added to page 19! Rookie mistake, off to read the thread!

Iflyaway · 03/02/2021 18:18

I felt bad so told her she could just take it

You need to change "your settings".

I am similar but have had to harden myself because people WILL take advantage!

As for "paying it back in 2 years... Shock JUST NO!

I lent money to a good and close friend when she was in dire straits. She set up a standing order and is paying it back per month,
Just makes it all transparent. (She would never give me the run-around).

Clymene · 03/02/2021 18:19

She's a fool because clearly you were a good friend and you have people in common. Tell everyone you know what she's done

Skyliner001 · 03/02/2021 18:24

Keep going with this, at least to get an answer that is honest and your money back. This is really really cheeky, honestly.

ChocShot90 · 03/02/2021 18:32

I'd just be straight up and say, as you clearly sold it to Apple, can you give me the amount you said you'd give me now rather than over 2 years!
However at this point, I wouldn't even care about the laptop, I'd just want her to admit her lies! I'd tell her I'm gonna trace it with Apple and let her sweat 😂

billy1966 · 03/02/2021 18:35

Small Claims Court is a most effective way of dealing with annoying problems inexpensively.

As @Bluntness100 has written, the reason I suggested it is to embarrass her, and to inexpensively show her that the OP isn't a mug.

She gained possession of the laptop due to deception.
For £25 she can send her a clear message as to just how crass and vulgar she is.

The OP was very kind in her actions.
It would piss me off no end for someone to behave similarly.

It is a surprisingly simply, effective, common sense vehicle for someone who feels they have been taken advantage of.

I used it once years ago after appalling service from a business and walked away with a very pleasing result after the judge agreed with me and put manners on them.

Humblebumbleoh · 03/02/2021 18:47

If she’s doing mlm she’s broke and has sold it, agreed.

BloggersBlog · 03/02/2021 18:48

If the OP isnt going to say "lets stop fart arsing around, how much did you get for it" and continues with this stupid "give me the receipts" lark, she is hardly going to take her to the small claims court is she?!

MyKingdomForACaramel · 03/02/2021 18:48

As an aside - this really don’t what the small claims court, police, etc etc are for. This is more Judge Rinder territory.

Your friend isn’t a friend - but let it go.

YouokHun · 03/02/2021 18:52

@Clymene

She's a fool because clearly you were a good friend and you have people in common. Tell everyone you know what she's done
I agree. She probably knows she’s been caught out and if she doesn’t have high regard for you (which it seems she doesn’t) then she might want to grab the narrative (I don’t want to sound petty or somehow Machiavellian) and I think I’d want to make it clear to my circle what went on and that you acted in good faith to try and help someone out and got diddled for your trouble. Perhaps you could ask on Facebook among your circle if anyone can lend you an Apple laptop because you gave yours to xxx to help her out of a tight spot and wasn’t expecting her to sell it within hours Confused
YouokHun · 03/02/2021 18:54

And they’re probably already sick of her spamming them with her MLM nonsense.

bpirockin · 03/02/2021 18:56

It seems like she's abused your generosity, and sold it. If what she's now saying is true, then why would she not have just told you, instead of adding a bit more each time?

My only slight niggle with this is that back in the days of electric typewriters, I can remember several occasions when they were working fine, but when someone new started using them they went up the creek.
I've been trying to get a laptop myself recently. It's hard because I can't justify spending too much, when it's simply to replace a locked iPad that would enable me to work in my one warm room later in the day. Every time I see one I ask lots of questions to try and establish if the battery might need replacing or whatever, and I talk myself out of it. I've not seen anything as new as a 2018 on fb marketplace. I had no idea that people would make low offers, other than when people specifically state ONO.
I have to say that I'd be done with her, partly because of how she misled you, but mainly because she's clearly dishonest, and I can't stand being friends with a liar, always having to second guess what's really going on. If it really broke, why not say, and where did the MS one suddenly appear from?

Not worth wasting your energy on, although very tempting to look for evidence either way.

HeidiHaughton · 03/02/2021 18:59

I'd post on every post of hers on Facebook and anywhere else that you want the computer back and this seems to be the only way to reach her now. Multiple times as long as it takes.

KatherineOfGaunt · 03/02/2021 19:06

OP, you can search eBay for completed listings and buy area. You could do a search and look at listings from just after you gave it to her and see if it's on there. You might recognise something in the background of any photos, too, so you know it's in her house.

KatherineOfGaunt · 03/02/2021 19:06

*by