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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend has taken me for a mug?

601 replies

PenAndPaperback · 02/02/2021 19:02

Back in December, I made an online listing for my 2018 MacBook on Facebook marketplace and received a ton of 'lowball' offers or people asking me to drive an hour plus to deliver it to their place. A friend of mine messaged me, telling me that her current laptop had broken down and that she's having trouble finding work because of that (she's a freelancer).

She asked if I could 'sell' it to her first and that she'd pay it back in instalments after paying off her kids' stuff etc, before telling me that she would get back to me because she had to calculate everything. She eventually came up with a payment plan that lasted almost 2 years and I told her that I'd just give it to her as I didn't need the money and that if I were to bring it in for 'trade-in' I was told that I'd get basically nothing for it anyway.

So I dropped it off in her mailbox, and I thought that that was that. Fast forward to last week, she was sending me screenshots on her computer, and it was on a Windows laptop! I asked her in a semi-joking way, oh, did the MacBook spoil and she said that no, she's just using her old laptop and that she's using the one I sent her for 'storage'. If I had known she didn't really need it I definitely wouldn't have given it to her!

I'm not going to ask for it back, of course. But AIBU to be a bit miffed off by all this?

OP posts:
ChristmasJumpers · 03/02/2021 15:06

My own cousin did this to me. I advertised a washing machine online and she said she needed one so she bought it from me (it was in full working order - we'd just got a washer dryer instead so needed to put the money from the washing machine back into the kitty).

A day later she's telling me it doesn't work and asking for her money back but couldn't return the machine to me as her car had broken down. Offered to pick it up and return her money and suddenly she had someone coming round to fix it instead (and complaining about how much it costed to fix so basically still asking for her money back). This is a shortened version of the story but she 100% just wanted her money back and to keep the fully working washing machine!!!

Tanith · 03/02/2021 15:07

Tell her there's a sweepstake going on what the next lie will be - we got the last one right - so could she hurry up with it? Thousands are waiting to hear it Grin

popgoestyeweasel · 03/02/2021 15:11

OP this is no friend. Call her out and cut your losses.

toocold54 · 03/02/2021 15:17

Wow I’ve only just read the update today. I’m raging on your behalf!
I would definitely keep in at her for where she took it as you say - you know it was working so want to get it back as they’ve scammed her and you’ve lost out money!

You would remember where you took it FFS Angry

toocold54 · 03/02/2021 15:21

I wouldn’t actually even ask for the money back because op gave it away (although it was under false pretences) so has no say in what happens to it.
I would just want the truth about what happened and then never speak to this CF again.

OP you did a lovely thing and I wish there were more people like you.
Her karma will come to her one day.

LEELULUMPKIN · 03/02/2021 15:23

All the posters suggesting that the friendship may still be salvageable if she owns up.

You are better people than me!

I couldn't come back from this and who really needs a lying, thieving "friend"?

SinkGirl · 03/02/2021 15:24

I think I’d just say I know exactly what you’ve done and I’m furious you would be so deceitful and manipulative. Then I would tell her that she owes you whatever she sold it for. Doubt you’ll get it, but the blatant lying is the most offensive part.

ChronicallyCurious · 03/02/2021 15:30

If OP calls the friend out and straight up says “I know you stole it” the chances are she’s going to deny deny deny.

PorkPieForStarters · 03/02/2021 15:33

I'm so sorry, this is infuriating and disappointing about your friend.

I'd ask her for the £20 per month saying you gave it to her, fully functioning, as a favour when you could have sold it. If there was a problem with it, why wouldn't she have mentioned it to you to at least ask if you knew how to fix it?

I'm sorry you did a nice thing and had this happen.

AliceinBunniland · 03/02/2021 15:49

I just think she's going to ignore / block you now

crosspelican · 03/02/2021 15:50

I'd send her the link to this thread and tell her that she only has a few hours before the Daily Mail picks up on this, and you can ask Mumsnet to pull the thread if she fesses up and gives you the money she sold the laptop for. Otherwise you might accidentally post a screenshot of her text message and forget to obscure her real name...

Grin

I'm sure all the huns in her MLM network would be interested to read all about how trustworthy she is tomorrow morning.

Cheeseandwin5 · 03/02/2021 15:51

@Winederlust
I really wouldn't bother with all this amateur sleuthing stuff like checking selling sites and serial numbers etc. It will make no difference. We all know she's lying and that you're not going to get either the laptop or any money back.
I'd just tell her straight you don't believe her, and that you're disappointed she couldn't just be straight with you. If you feel that this has ended the friendship I'd make that clear too.

Totally agree with this. I would probably go on to the 'inspirational posts' of hers and pose the same question.
I would also ask mutual friends if she had done the same to them

1forAll74 · 03/02/2021 15:51

What kind of friend is this person,have you ever thought that she could be underhanded and lie about things, as every reply you get from here,sounds dodgy and outlandish.

toocold54 · 03/02/2021 15:58

I just think she's going to ignore / block you now

I do too or she’s going to push you into becoming angry and then play the victim and won’t have to end up telling what happened to it.

Ivy455 · 03/02/2021 16:00

@BosleyCharliesAngel

At this stage, I'd be very tempted to do what *@Flippyferloppy* has suggested. Call her out on it - at this stage you've nothing to lose because if she has recycled it/sold it on/repurposed it, you won't be seeing the device again and you know where you stand with her. Say you believe that she sold it after pleading poverty to you and played on your generous and kind nature. Say that you don't believe her stories about the camera going wonky or any of the other stuff she claims has happened. You just don't believe her. Ask her to provide proof and if she can't, cut your losses. Don't give her any more headspace and move on from this. Stop pussyfooting around situations, deal with them head on and call people out on their bullshit!

Now, get to it Smile

Yess, this!

Be assertive. It gets easier the more you do it.

Bluntness100 · 03/02/2021 16:08

Calling her out will just make her dig in further, she will act outraged,

Much better to scare her that apple can trace it as it’s still connected to the ops account and via isp locator. Everyone would think “shit, what is that possible?” Unless they were very techy.

icelollycraving · 03/02/2021 16:12

Bloody hell what a cowbag. I’d definitely do what Bluntness suggested. I’d want to worry her.
She is an utter liar.

Ineedsleepzz · 03/02/2021 16:13

Oh wow.
I'm so angry for you reading this!!

I would message her and say you know she is lying and that you tried to help her out. I would tell her the friendship is over.

What an absolute prick. There is no way you would just send it off for recycling without speaking to the person who had lent it you for free.

BBCONEANDTWO · 03/02/2021 16:38

I bet she's sold it.

YellowandGreenToBeSeen · 03/02/2021 16:55

@BBCONEANDTWO

I bet she's sold it.
“Cancel the cheque” Grin
rawalpindithelabrador · 03/02/2021 16:55

In that case I'd go with Sch's message. You have nothing to lose. She'll ghost you, though, is my guess. She was never a friend and you've been had. Lesson learned.

ILikeToMoveItMoveItILikeToMove · 03/02/2021 17:08

You’ve got nothing to lose now so why not just send one last message and say something like. ‘Just be honest with me, have you sold the laptop?’
She probably won’t reply but I’d suggest you stop thinking of her as a friend and take it as a lesson learned. It’s not worth stressing over and move on with your life.

LadyDanbury · 03/02/2021 17:28

I'd be sorely tempted to put a link to this thread on your Facebook and tag her.

In reality, all you can do is call her on it. All this sleuthing and trying to worry her isn't really going to get you anywhere.

But she will ghost / block you anyway so you are unlikely to get your pound of flesh or any explanation, even if she is telling you the truth.

YoniAndGuy · 03/02/2021 17:32

@Tanith

Tell her there's a sweepstake going on what the next lie will be - we got the last one right - so could she hurry up with it? Thousands are waiting to hear it Grin
Oh yes :)
CaterpillarMilkshake · 03/02/2021 17:34

@BBCONEANDTWO

I bet she's sold it.
You think.