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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend has taken me for a mug?

601 replies

PenAndPaperback · 02/02/2021 19:02

Back in December, I made an online listing for my 2018 MacBook on Facebook marketplace and received a ton of 'lowball' offers or people asking me to drive an hour plus to deliver it to their place. A friend of mine messaged me, telling me that her current laptop had broken down and that she's having trouble finding work because of that (she's a freelancer).

She asked if I could 'sell' it to her first and that she'd pay it back in instalments after paying off her kids' stuff etc, before telling me that she would get back to me because she had to calculate everything. She eventually came up with a payment plan that lasted almost 2 years and I told her that I'd just give it to her as I didn't need the money and that if I were to bring it in for 'trade-in' I was told that I'd get basically nothing for it anyway.

So I dropped it off in her mailbox, and I thought that that was that. Fast forward to last week, she was sending me screenshots on her computer, and it was on a Windows laptop! I asked her in a semi-joking way, oh, did the MacBook spoil and she said that no, she's just using her old laptop and that she's using the one I sent her for 'storage'. If I had known she didn't really need it I definitely wouldn't have given it to her!

I'm not going to ask for it back, of course. But AIBU to be a bit miffed off by all this?

OP posts:
o8O8O8o · 03/02/2021 13:26

I think she knew exactly what she was doing from the start, she set out to con you out of the laptop and maneuvered you into giving it away for free
It's an open goal you can do what you like now

heatherafter · 03/02/2021 13:26

I've had a friend do this, not items of the same value but item after item and bag after bag that she'd see ready for me to take to the charity shop. She pleads poverty often, I felt obliged to let her have them when she asked.

Turns out she was selling everything on marketplace safe in the knowledge I didn't use Facebook!

Cut her loose. You can't trust someone like her. Such sly behaviour.

JillsFlapjacks · 03/02/2021 13:28

@PenAndPaperback

Messaged her for the shop details on Facebook messenger as she's online and still posting marketing stuff and inspirational posts under the guise of 'before the shop closes for the day' but of course she is now showing as being offline right after I pressed 'send'.
Posting marketing and inspirational quotes... is she an MLM hunbot? What a piece of work.
1Morewineplease · 03/02/2021 13:30

She's not your friend and you'll never get it back.
I'd be tempted to send one more message saying "So you've sold it then. "
Doubt you'll hear from her again.

o8O8O8o · 03/02/2021 13:32

Or maybe her mlm business is just a front for selling stolen laptops 🤔

Lorieandrews · 03/02/2021 13:35

I’d tell her you’re going to go to the police. As you think the shop did her over as you tested it with Apple support so know it was working. So you’d like the name immediately. Because the police are phoning you back. But if you haven’t heard from her that you’re going to give the officer her name snd address directly so they can speak to her. As apparently there is a scam going on in your local town.

YouokHun · 03/02/2021 13:35

@PenAndPaperback

Messaged her for the shop details on Facebook messenger as she's online and still posting marketing stuff and inspirational posts under the guise of 'before the shop closes for the day' but of course she is now showing as being offline right after I pressed 'send'.
“Inspirational quotes and marketing”, Is she an MLM Hun to add to her crimes?

I am all for letting things go generally but actually I would be telling her that you gave her the laptop only because you wanted to help her out of a tight spot and as she has clearly sold it and you did not expect her to be deceitful and to make a shady profit out of selling it on. Therefore you expect to see the receipt, to be reimbursed for it and to have details of where it was sold. I expect she’ll blank you but I’d try and make her life awkward in the mean time and I’d probably be letting others know about it.
Her actions are not ones of a friend so no need to be gentle about it.

sally067 · 03/02/2021 13:40

Not sure why anyone would even send a laptop to be recycled by Apple and get no money back.

Even if it was faulty you'd sell it to Music Magpie or Mazuma - They still pay out even for faulty equipment. If it was fully functional she'd get a few hundred for it from them. I bet that's what's she's done which is probably why op can't find it on FB or eBay.

Doubt very much it was broken though, as op said it was in full working order and Macs are pretty reliable and last for ages, it's one of the reasons for buying them.

YouokHun · 03/02/2021 13:40

Ha! We all picked up on the MLM thing! It’s quite telling because MLM involvement encourages people to look on their friendships as monitizable (if that’s a word) and it can turn people into abandoning their moral compass. Also if she’s in MLM she’s probably losing money hand over fist so she will do anything to generate a bit of cash to prop up her “bizniz”.

Riv12345 · 03/02/2021 13:41

Can't you just text saying I'm picking up today be round around 5 ??

o8O8O8o · 03/02/2021 13:44

@Lorieandrews

I’d tell her you’re going to go to the police. As you think the shop did her over as you tested it with Apple support so know it was working. So you’d like the name immediately. Because the police are phoning you back. But if you haven’t heard from her that you’re going to give the officer her name snd address directly so they can speak to her. As apparently there is a scam going on in your local town.
I think this tactic could be successful in drawing her out!
PollyDarton1 · 03/02/2021 13:45

Jesus wept. What a total shit!

I would be saying something to the effect of;

'Please could you now give me the repair shop number before they close, I don't need receipt just need to speak to someone in their department as I did a full check of the product and want to understand why a high value item like this has been sent to recycling. I have a serial number so should be able to contact Apple to verify'

That'll shit out the lie.

ScalpHelp · 03/02/2021 13:47

@Lorieandrews

I’d tell her you’re going to go to the police. As you think the shop did her over as you tested it with Apple support so know it was working. So you’d like the name immediately. Because the police are phoning you back. But if you haven’t heard from her that you’re going to give the officer her name snd address directly so they can speak to her. As apparently there is a scam going on in your local town.
This wouldn’t work, the police wouldn’t be interested and the friend knows it. No point making empty threats.
ScalpHelp · 03/02/2021 13:48

OP, if the MacBook is still listed under your apple account you can be petty and list it as stolen

yvanka · 03/02/2021 13:53

I love situations like this and would take great delight in making her squirm.

gamerchick · 03/02/2021 13:55

@ScalpHelp

OP, if the MacBook is still listed under your apple account you can be petty and list it as stolen
Pity you can't brick them like you can phones tbh.
billy1966 · 03/02/2021 13:57

OP,
You always can go the Small Claims Court route.
They are extremely efficient.

I think if she can't return an item that you loaned her on the basis that she was stuck and has now sold, I would most certainly make things very uncomfortable.

If she has done this, she is a deeply dishonest person and there is no way I would allow her to continue thinking you are a complete mug.

Utterly shane her and let your circle know of friends know.

If she sold it she did it deliberately.

Flowers
EllyNC · 03/02/2021 13:59

I’d ask for it back- say if she doesn’t really need it anymore you could do with it back?

RachelJones01 · 03/02/2021 14:01

She has used you and abused your trust. Drop her like the plaque as this will be the start of abuse from her side. Bet she took it straight to cash converters and got £250 for it. Shes laughing behind your back so cut her out of her life, let karma come to her and use it as lesson to not believe people when they claim to be in need. Shes disgusting and not worth wasting your time, energy and breath on.

ScalpHelp · 03/02/2021 14:01

I don’t think OP can go to small claims court unfortunately

She eventually came up with a payment plan that lasted almost 2 years and I told her that I'd just give it to her as I didn't need the money

Presumably the friend has evidence of this text conversation, which would prove that OP declined payment and therefore has no recourse? Depends on the exact messages I suppose

ScalpHelp · 03/02/2021 14:04

I would play her at her own game and make a public fb post about her, complete with a couple of her selfies and the begging texts and just expose her by tagging her too. It’s all you can do, but it has the plus side of getting her back where it hurts if she’s that active on Facebook.

o8O8O8o · 03/02/2021 14:05

I think she knows exactly what she's doing, the reason she offered a payment plan in writing was so that she had proof that you gave it away for free
She played you

1Morewineplease · 03/02/2021 14:08

@Lorieandrews

I’d tell her you’re going to go to the police. As you think the shop did her over as you tested it with Apple support so know it was working. So you’d like the name immediately. Because the police are phoning you back. But if you haven’t heard from her that you’re going to give the officer her name snd address directly so they can speak to her. As apparently there is a scam going on in your local town.
I like the sound of this!
slashlover · 03/02/2021 14:09

@Riv12345

Can't you just text saying I'm picking up today be round around 5 ??

If you're not going to RTFT at least read the last few posts or the OPs. CF has already said she doesn't have it. Did you not think it would have moved on in almost 400 posts?

Scbchl · 03/02/2021 14:11

I'd just message her saying "being honest, I am doubting your story. I gave you that laptop for free as you said you needed one for work and I felt guilty. I lost out on money I could of made selling it by trying to do a good thing to help you. It was only two years old and had absolutely NO issues. The fact you cant even give me any evidence to show that you did hand it to a shop or to apple is really making me question your sincerity. If I am wrong I apologise, but I feel like I have given my laptop away under false pretences.