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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend has taken me for a mug?

601 replies

PenAndPaperback · 02/02/2021 19:02

Back in December, I made an online listing for my 2018 MacBook on Facebook marketplace and received a ton of 'lowball' offers or people asking me to drive an hour plus to deliver it to their place. A friend of mine messaged me, telling me that her current laptop had broken down and that she's having trouble finding work because of that (she's a freelancer).

She asked if I could 'sell' it to her first and that she'd pay it back in instalments after paying off her kids' stuff etc, before telling me that she would get back to me because she had to calculate everything. She eventually came up with a payment plan that lasted almost 2 years and I told her that I'd just give it to her as I didn't need the money and that if I were to bring it in for 'trade-in' I was told that I'd get basically nothing for it anyway.

So I dropped it off in her mailbox, and I thought that that was that. Fast forward to last week, she was sending me screenshots on her computer, and it was on a Windows laptop! I asked her in a semi-joking way, oh, did the MacBook spoil and she said that no, she's just using her old laptop and that she's using the one I sent her for 'storage'. If I had known she didn't really need it I definitely wouldn't have given it to her!

I'm not going to ask for it back, of course. But AIBU to be a bit miffed off by all this?

OP posts:
SummerBlondey · 03/02/2021 12:50

You're never going to see a penny. And thankfully you sound like you're okay for money and won't miss it.

The thing is, when you give something away, you no longer have any say over what happens to it. I give a lot of stuff away via Gumtree, if I think it's going to be in my way and it'll only fetch peanuts anyway. I gave away a TV unit the other week. For all I know the woman may have sold it. I just needed it gone.

I know this is different, as it's a friend, but you gave her the laptop and she thought it was hers, to do with it whatever she wanted. Personally I think she should have given it back to you. Maybe she's desperate for money, which is quite sad.

I think in your shoes, I'd learn from this and move on (without keeping in contact with her).

MrKlaw · 03/02/2021 12:50

@LemonSwan

OP I know you are probably quite angry as everyone has said they cannot break over night. I promise you they can.

I am not sure I actually believe her as wonky screen and green lines is not what happens with flexgate.

But it is absolutely possible it broke and the repair is worth more than the laptop. I have a late 2017 pro in my cupboard which I refuse to recycle because theres nothing wrong with it except Apple made the cable from the body to the screen too short and one day it just goes poof. 2016s are on recall. Everything up to the 2019 may be affected.

If you were affected you should have seen signs before such as little 'stage lights' along the bottom of the screen near the bar of icons. It is very subtle but gets increasingly stronger before one day the whole screen just goes black.

I just thought I should mention as this is all potentially friendship ruining. If you can rack your brains and try to remember.

regardless of the possiblity - why is the friend dripfeeding and then slightly adjusting the story each time?

As soon as they said 'oh the camera is wonky' that clearly suggests she has it but doesn't think it'd be usable for her mum (convenient direct palm off). But then when chased, its suddenly jumped not only to the computer shop, but then back again and off to Apple.

Basically 99% bollocks

longwayoff · 03/02/2021 13:00

Tell her yours needs repairing so you need it back as she's not using it. Be prepared for friendship to be over as she's probably sold it.

Whichnamepls · 03/02/2021 13:02

I think she has mugged you off but I wouldn't push it anymore personally. The way she is responding makes it clear you are not going to get a straight answer.

I would write it off and the friendship too. You did a nice thing for someone - try and focus on that.

LagneyandCasey · 03/02/2021 13:04

@longwayoff

Tell her yours needs repairing so you need it back as she's not using it. Be prepared for friendship to be over as she's probably sold it.
The laptop is already long gone.

The friend tried to get it fixed but it was beyond repair so she sent it to Apple for recycling.

And pigs may fly! 🐷

MsFogi · 03/02/2021 13:05

I would just ask for it back. I disagree with people saying it was a "gift" - this was something she said she needed and was willing to pay for, you did not insist on payment and gave it to her because she needed it. It is now clear that the basis of your agreement was not a true/solid one so you are perfectly entitled to ask her to give it back and get a few hunderd pounds for it elsewhere (or give it to someone genuinely in need - lots of local state schools around here are asking for donations of laptops).

EspressoExpresso · 03/02/2021 13:05

Id ask her for the receipt/contact details from the computer repair place and the paperwork from Apple, so that you can claim on your insurance for what was clearly a broken macbook

cbt944 · 03/02/2021 13:07

If someone's going to use hardluck stories to siphon a Macbook off you, then on-sell it, the least they could do is come up with more plausible lies.

Original poster
PenAndPaperback · 03/02/2021 13:08

Messaged her for the shop details on Facebook messenger as she's online and still posting marketing stuff and inspirational posts under the guise of 'before the shop closes for the day' but of course she is now showing as being offline right after I pressed 'send'.

OP posts:
CatalinaCasesolver · 03/02/2021 13:09

Why are you still
Asking her for the shop
Details? She's sold it and so you're only going to get more lies. Call her out on it! She is not your friend.

supercee · 03/02/2021 13:10

Stop pussy footing around. Just straight out say to her she's clearly taking the cunt and you want an explanation.

o8O8O8o · 03/02/2021 13:10

@PenAndPaperback

Messaged her for the shop details on Facebook messenger as she's online and still posting marketing stuff and inspirational posts under the guise of 'before the shop closes for the day' but of course she is now showing as being offline right after I pressed 'send'.
She's clearly rattled....
cansu · 03/02/2021 13:10

it is pretty obvious that she has either
a sold it
b broken it

I am not sure what you are hoping to get from constantly messaging her and trying to catch her out. You either want to maintain the friendship or not. Yes, if she has sold it, it is shitty, but still you need to decide whether the friendship is worth overlooking this or not.

supercee · 03/02/2021 13:11

And she's got until x o'clock to provide a bullshit explanation or else you will be going nuclear.

cbt944 · 03/02/2021 13:11

And 80 quid, minimum. She's horrible.

Daisysflowers · 03/02/2021 13:11

I would call her out on it now and say you know she has sold it and that’s why she is not answering your questions.

AliceinBunniland · 03/02/2021 13:12

She will avoid you now OP.

But yes I agree if it was genuinely broken and should have contacted you before recycling it.

It's a shame because you did something nice and people like this might mean someone kind like you is less inclined to helps someone in the future.

I think we've all learned lessons like this to some degree or other but your friend is a particularly CF

Daisysflowers · 03/02/2021 13:13

Also if money was tight as she was looking to pay you back over 2 years how can she suddenly afford a bill to have it repaired especially when she has another one to use so doesn’t technically need it! Call her out on it!

Beeeees · 03/02/2021 13:13

I might have missed this, but did you buy it from apple? The serial number will be in the email "billing document" they send you. Just checked some of mine.

GreatExpectationalized · 03/02/2021 13:14

She is a liar, you cannot trust anything more she says to you.
Do not blame yourself, trying to be kind and helping someone who has children to look after and seems really in need is NOT being a mug, it is being beautifully humane.

The fault is hers, she is obviously a pro with these kind of manoeuvres, the initial way of asking was too slick and practiced. The vast majority of decent, honest people are no match for this type of personality, they are able to swindle law enforcement and bank managers some of them.

I would write this off as a force of nature which hit you and breathe a sigh of relief you have not been conned out of something very essential to your daily quality of life. You wouldn’t feel like a mug if a tornado blew through your house, treat this incident much the same. Some people are like that. Remove yourself from her happily and carry on without another word or backward glance.

Plussizejumpsuit · 03/02/2021 13:18

She's definitely sold it. For some reason people love apple stuff and it has good value second hand. I'm surprised that you had difficulty selling it on. But Facebook market place is a joke.

o8O8O8o · 03/02/2021 13:21

Could you mention it to a mutual friend, just casually bring it up in discussion as a way of putting the word about... subtly

TR888 · 03/02/2021 13:21

I would be upfront, OP. You've already asked a few times, so it is time for a direct question.

I hope you cut her out of your life completely now. What she has done is a clear indication of the way she sees you, unfortunately. I hope others treat you better! If similar things have happened in the past, I think it is time for you to do some reflection on why that might be...

Wishing you all the best - you sound like a lovely person.

o8O8O8o · 03/02/2021 13:24

@Daisysflowers

Also if money was tight as she was looking to pay you back over 2 years how can she suddenly afford a bill to have it repaired especially when she has another one to use so doesn’t technically need it! Call her out on it!
Yes bring that up and see what she says👀 It was clearly just part of the script that she uses to make you feel sorry for her From what you said about her it sounds as if she is an mlm person (?).... That's all a big con so obviously she's just a con artist 🤬
Winederlust · 03/02/2021 13:25

I really wouldn't bother with all this amateur sleuthing stuff like checking selling sites and serial numbers etc. It will make no difference. We all know she's lying and that you're not going to get either the laptop or any money back.
I'd just tell her straight you don't believe her, and that you're disappointed she couldn't just be straight with you. If you feel that this has ended the friendship I'd make that clear too.