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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend has taken me for a mug?

601 replies

PenAndPaperback · 02/02/2021 19:02

Back in December, I made an online listing for my 2018 MacBook on Facebook marketplace and received a ton of 'lowball' offers or people asking me to drive an hour plus to deliver it to their place. A friend of mine messaged me, telling me that her current laptop had broken down and that she's having trouble finding work because of that (she's a freelancer).

She asked if I could 'sell' it to her first and that she'd pay it back in instalments after paying off her kids' stuff etc, before telling me that she would get back to me because she had to calculate everything. She eventually came up with a payment plan that lasted almost 2 years and I told her that I'd just give it to her as I didn't need the money and that if I were to bring it in for 'trade-in' I was told that I'd get basically nothing for it anyway.

So I dropped it off in her mailbox, and I thought that that was that. Fast forward to last week, she was sending me screenshots on her computer, and it was on a Windows laptop! I asked her in a semi-joking way, oh, did the MacBook spoil and she said that no, she's just using her old laptop and that she's using the one I sent her for 'storage'. If I had known she didn't really need it I definitely wouldn't have given it to her!

I'm not going to ask for it back, of course. But AIBU to be a bit miffed off by all this?

OP posts:
Conniethesensible · 03/02/2021 12:19

Deffo sold - how close is this friend? -Call her out either way. That's messed up.

o8O8O8o · 03/02/2021 12:20

You won't get it back OP but do keep on squeezing her ....just for the entertainment of watching her squirm and try to wriggle out of it and spin it around as she paints herself into a corner 🤣😂🤭

mam0918 · 03/02/2021 12:20

I had a friend do this to me too, she BEGGED me for my DS cot and bouncer etc... even though she knew we where TTC too but since she was pregnant and we where struggling to get pregnant and she kept asking so I loaned her the items (common in our circle).

She invited us over a few months later and was showing us round including the nursery and NON of our stuff where there, she had much more expensive items dispite having pleaded povety and we never did see our items again.

I'm pretty certain she did it to multiple people then sold the items and bought 'better' new stuff, it still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth and is why I no long help people out like that.

If your a friend and I can afford to buy you something as a gift I will but noones getting my stuff anymore.

islockdownoveryet · 03/02/2021 12:21

Oh she’s getting herself into a right tangled web of lies isn’t she .
I’d be tempted to carry on pretending to believe her story to trip her up .
But either way op you can’t forgive this .
You did let her have it but a friend would of said it’s broken now do you want it back or shall i send it to this shop .
If what it was that she thought you don’t want it and lied that hers was broken so she could sell/ give to someone else that’s so much worse.

december212 · 03/02/2021 12:21

For those saying call her bluff by telling her your contacting Apple, etc., do you think this will make a difference, really? This friend has been full of bs from the start, I think it would be water off a ducks back and she'll likely have another lie ready to try and cover her tracks.

Tianatiers · 03/02/2021 12:23

@Nat6999

I'd tell her yours isn't working & can you borrow it back. Then watch her sweat.
Yes, this!
Original poster
PenAndPaperback · 03/02/2021 12:25

how close is this friend?

We used to have lunch together twice a week for 1.5 years as she was a full time staff at this place I used to volunteer at and my 'shift' ending coincided with her break time. Haven't been there in over 6 months but we still occasionally text.

OP posts:
CocoPark · 03/02/2021 12:27

Jeeez this is TERRIBLE! You must be livid!! You were effectively tricked into giving her something of value to help her out, and she's clearly profited off your generosity 5 minutes later.

Agree with PP, play along for a bit, make her sweat and then totally call it out.

Original poster
PenAndPaperback · 03/02/2021 12:27

She invited us over a few months later and was showing us round including the nursery and NON of our stuff where there, she had much more expensive items dispite having pleaded povety and we never did see our items again.

It's awful how many people in this thread have similar stories. Amazing 'friend'.

OP posts:
CocoPark · 03/02/2021 12:28

@ChronicallyCurious

Call her out on her BS. Tell her you spoke to apple regarding the ‘recycling’ and gave them the serial number of the laptop as you wanted it back to see if you could ‘fix’ it and they have no record of it going in and they also told you that if it was recycled you’d definitely have received a receipt.

Oh yes, do this too!

BertramLacey · 03/02/2021 12:28

I don't have a record of the serial number because I am a dumb arse. I've checked eBay and Facebook marketplace and don't see anything there. I do know that Apple had logic board issues but I've checked my serial number on the Apple website back then and mine wasn't one of the ones so it can't be that.

Long shot but go back to the Apple website and click on the box for the serial number - it might remember you from previous visits and offer to autofill the right number for you. Some websites do even if you clear cookies.

thenewduchessofhastings · 03/02/2021 12:31

@PenAndPaperback

She could have sold if immediately

Logged on to something like music magpie;had an agreed price and pre paid label within 48 hours and dropped at post office;whoosh gone in a matter of days.

roses2 · 03/02/2021 12:31

I wouldn't be so bothered by what she did however the important thing is that she pays you back. Is she still sticking to this part of the agreement?

CorianderBee · 03/02/2021 12:32

I'd say she's flogged it and bought a cheap PC and kept the other money

custardbear · 03/02/2021 12:36

Tell her to intercept it and get it sent back to you. Tell her she had no right to get rid of it, it wasn't hers, tell her she owes you £400 if she can't get it back plus you want evidence from this bogus computer repair place - probably what she's got for it by selling it and buying herself a swanky new Windows one - cheeky fucker alert! There's a thread about CF's now you can add to that with this story!

LagneyandCasey · 03/02/2021 12:38

@roses2

I wouldn't be so bothered by what she did however the important thing is that she pays you back. Is she still sticking to this part of the agreement?
OP said she thought the laptop was virtually worthless (£80 was offered) if she sold it on so in the end she just gave it to the friend as she said she desperately needed it. However, it was in full working condition when she handed it over, so not exactly 'worthless'.
Original poster
PenAndPaperback · 03/02/2021 12:39

I wouldn't be so bothered by what she did however the important thing is that she pays you back. Is she still sticking to this part of the agreement?

My stupid arse told her I'd give it for free because she made it sound like she was REALLY struggling with money and would pay me £20 a month over almost 2 years, sometimes less if she couldn't find the money and sometimes part of it in bloody cash if that's what she has. Sounded like such a hassle and I felt bad so told her she could just take it.

OP posts:
CorianderBee · 03/02/2021 12:40

So has she told you outright she doesn't have it anymore?

I'd be saying that you need her to get you the receipt as it was working fine for you and you now think she's mugged you off.

The friendship is dead anyway so might as well get the truth from her

Tianatiers · 03/02/2021 12:40

Just read your updates, OP I would be so angry with my friend if I were you. I would be telling her that I know she has sold it and that I am very disappointed and she is not the friend I thought she was. Then I’d go no contact until she apologised. If she didn’t I wouldn’t care in the slightest about losing a friend like that.

Original poster
PenAndPaperback · 03/02/2021 12:41

I've also done a bit of research and turns out Facebook marketplace was probably one of the worse out of all the platforms for selling electronics as you'd just get 'lowballed' so more fool me!

OP posts:
DENGREEN · 03/02/2021 12:42

YANBU. Even if she hasn’t sold it ( I agree with so many other responses on here ) she has such brass-necked cheek. Maybe you don’t want to actually fall out with her but I would keep her at arm’s length from now on and eventually phase her out of my life. She doesn’t sound like a nice person.

MrKlaw · 03/02/2021 12:47

if you go to appleid.apple.com/account/manage you can sign in with your appleID and it'll show all devices associated with your account. Unless you explicitely removed it, you should see the macbook there - that'll also let you find the serial number

or go here www.icloud.com/find and login with your apple ID and it'll show you where the device is (if you have 'find my' set up which may be on by default).

Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/02/2021 12:49

She made it sound like she was REALLY struggling with money and would pay me £20 a month over almost 2 years, sometimes less if she couldn't find the money ...

Unfortunately that's the way they do it - get a sob story in first and follow with a vague (and certainly not meant) suggestion about payment

You've been thoroughly played, OP, but on the bright side it doesn't sound as if it was a close friendship which you'd be sorry to lose
No need to feel stupid either; we've all been done over at one time or another and it's just a case of lesson learned

comingintomyown · 03/02/2021 12:49

Let no good deed go unpunished

Original poster
PenAndPaperback · 03/02/2021 12:50

if you go to appleid.apple.com/account/manage you can sign in with your appleID and it'll show all devices associated with your account. Unless you explicitely removed it, you should see the macbook there - that'll also let you find the serial number

or go here www.icloud.com/find and login with your apple ID and it'll show you where the device is (if you have 'find my' set up which may be on by default).

Sadly I followed support.apple.com/en-gb/HT201065 step-by-step so it's all gone.

OP posts: