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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who has the master bedroom in your house ?

235 replies

Whattheactual20201 · 02/02/2021 13:01

We were just discussing this with a friend and she thought it was odd that we have the smallest room in the house.

My dc 14 and 7. Ds originally had main bedroom and DD middle bedroom.
This then switched 2 years ago as their needs changed.
I have always had the smaller bedroom. I have my double bed and no floor space etc but I find that I only really sleep in their so it’s never bothered me.
We are planning on moving soon and I think it will be a similar set up.

How do you work out who gets what room ?

OP posts:
MotherExtraordinaire · 02/02/2021 15:48

If I hadn't got built in wardrobes and amazing decor, I would have given my lo the master as they have toys etc that could be more easily played with and facilitate more sleepovers, outside of covid of course!

I don't really get the paying the mortgage argument either. As surely, as a rule the adults have more of the run of the rest of the home?

nowbringmethathorizon · 02/02/2021 15:50

I have the master bed and en-suite. DH has the spare room because he snores. Kids have the smaller two rooms but they aren't tiny each could fit in a double bed.

AryaStarkWolf · 02/02/2021 15:50

Me and my DH have the master bedroom

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 02/02/2021 15:50

We only kept one en-suite in the house, and that's the guest bedroom!
Not sure it makes the guests think they are the centre of the universe Grin

ChocOrange1 · 02/02/2021 15:55

We have the big room and children the two smaller ones. Our room isnt much bigger than DD1s anyway as we have a big wardrobe.

Twixmas · 02/02/2021 16:07

I'm a lone parent but I have the massive front bedroom with a king-size bed! I have tween/teen boys one has the box room but he doesn't care as its closest to the WiFi router! I think rank comes into it to some degree. I'm in charge so I get the big room. If they were struggling or bothered we could change it. When they were small they shared the room but no way would they want that now.

nokidshere · 02/02/2021 16:17

DH has the main bedroom, two boys have their own equally good sized bedrooms and I sleep in the smallest room. Mainly because me and DH are not compatible sleepers but he's 6ft6 so needs more space than me. When the boys were small we all slept together in the main bedroom.

marshmallowfluffy · 02/02/2021 16:24

I have the master and would only give it up if 2 kids had to share.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 02/02/2021 16:28

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

I make different sacrifices. I do not have a dining room, so that my children can have a playroom. I chose to stop at 2 children - this means we have space in the house for them each to have their own bedroom. The bathroom is very small because we value having the space elsewhere.

My point was that a child can have a lovely room and it doesnt need to be the "best" in the house.

LApprentiSorcier · 02/02/2021 16:30

Meeeee!

corythatwas · 02/02/2021 16:37

Absolutely, @Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

People make the choices that work best for their families. I am currently sleeping on the sofa because dh is a snorer. The reason it's me on the sofa is that I'm the only person who can fit on it, I require far less sleep than dh so allowing maximum access to family living room, dd has horrendous back and hip trouble so even one night on the sofa would leave her crippled for weeks, and ds is 6 foot tall. It's nothing to do with my relative importance in the family. I already know I'm important (for heavens sake, I'm the matriarch!) so that doesn't need any further signalling.

Porcupineintherough · 02/02/2021 16:40

Dh and I have the master bedroom because a) we are the only ones who share and b) we have a bloody enormous bed and c) it's the only one big enough for that and two wardrobe to fit our clothes in. So all about practicality.

Annabell80 · 02/02/2021 16:42

My daughter's have the biggest room as they have to share and spend more time in their room than we do.
My husband and I have the middle room and our son has the smallest room (too small for a double bed).
When I lived at home my sister and I had the biggest room. If children have to share I think it's fair enough for them have the biggest room.

LadyCatStark · 02/02/2021 16:48

We have the master bedroom but DS has the next room with an en-suite and his own “office” next to it so he’s hardly hard done to!

ThatsAllFolks · 02/02/2021 17:00

I gave the master bedroom with ensuite to my eldest in the hope that his father could see what I was spending part of child support on. Shouldn't have bothered as he never turned up. Child is now 20 and at uni but still loves his room and plenty of space for all his mess

abc31 · 02/02/2021 17:03

This thread has been really eye-opening. We have the master, as is the case at my friends' and family's houses.

Unless there was a specific issue (e.g. it's on a different floor to a young child), or something particularly nice about a smaller room (such as a view), we'd always take the master bedroom and the kids have the choice of the other bedrooms. But each to their own..

cookiemonster5 · 02/02/2021 17:03

When I first got my own place after I left my ex I have my 2 kids the bigger room. There were 2 of them and 1 of me so it made sense. Plus that way I could have all their toys in their room too and not cluttering up the living room.

Now in this house now I've remarried we have the biggest room, the 2 sharing the next and the eldest the smallest room.

MissMarpleDarling · 02/02/2021 17:04

We don't have a box room all bedrooms are a decent size but mines the biggest. Only because it faces the front of the house which is loud as it's the street side so kids had the back bedrooms.

pointythings · 02/02/2021 17:13

DDs have the two bigger bedrooms - they study in them as well as sleeping there. I have one of the two smaller bedrooms - all I do in there is sleep and it fits my double bed which is all mine. Foster son has the 4th bedroom downstairs, which is a smidge bigger than mine but has the utility off it, so he has to live with me knocking on the door when I need to get stuff out of the freezer.

Next year will be weird with all 3 of them at uni and me all alone - don't think I'll change anything though, I plan to downsize when they're all settled in work and have their own place.

TwoZeroTwoZero · 02/02/2021 17:15

Dh & I have the biggest bedroom. It has our bed (obvs), drawers, bedside tables/drawers and bookcase. We also dry the majority of the clothes in there and have a cupboard to keep things like the luggage cases, Xmas tree, blankets, towels, extra food etc. I wouldn't like to have to keep going into someone else's room to get things like that and there isn't the space in the other rooms.

Dc 1 has the next biggest room simply because it was decorated and ready to sleep in when we moved in whereas the box room, dc 2's room, who was a tiny baby when we moved and slept in ours for a while, had bare walls and floor for a few months until we could sort it out.

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 02/02/2021 17:30

My point was that a child can have a lovely room and it doesnt need to be the "best" in the house.

I don't think the biggest bedroom is necessarily the "best" bedroom anyway

but especially when you are struggling with space, it often makes much more sense to use the biggest bedroom for the children. It's bizarre when people are so inflexible and stubborn and the "master bedroom" becomes a matter of principles.

Each to their own, but when you see posts complaining about squeezing 3 children in a box room when the parent is keeping the biggest bedroom in the house despite using it for sleeping only... the solution is pretty obvious?

It's a bedroom, not a social status!

I never said parents shouldn't have the biggest bedroom either. I just dont' understand for strict rules about it.

RuledbyASD · 02/02/2021 17:31

My 6yr old!!!

RuledbyASD · 02/02/2021 17:33

@DeeThree

Parents, who own and pay the mortgage, get the biggest bedroom. Why wouldn't they?
Because 6yr old DD has toys and adults don't! Hmm Well, not those kind anyway! Wink
gamerchick · 02/02/2021 17:34

I always put a kid in the biggest bedroom. It made more sense as they have more stuff and play in their room, adults don't need that imo.

But that's just me.

Suzi888 · 02/02/2021 17:34

We do, but I much prefer one of the other bedrooms. It just didn’t seem right though, but we may swap when DD is older . Hmm

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