That women should not be banned from Social Media for asking the question ( Thread 4)

[Langrycleg]

Many women have been suspended from sm for asking the question:

“Do you believe that male sexed people should be allowed access to changing rooms and showers for female sexed people and teenagers?”
Seems like a perfectly reasonable question which we should be allowed to ask.

Let’s vote with our AIBU.

Considering she was voted head girl by her peers, one can assume it was a positive experience

Was it unanimous? There wasn’t a single girl at the entire school who didn’t like sharing changing rooms, toilets, showers etc with a teenage male?

. Always the bloody same - thin veneer of oh so reasonable, but give it the slightest rub & you're through to the gloating that males will do what they want & yah boo sucks you can't stop it & you can't say no.

I think things are changing in that respect; trans toolkits being withdrawn from schools was a green shoot of recovery, & the Bell review another.

YY Corvus. It doesn't take long for it to slip.

But enlightening for lurkers.

@OldCrone

dd and her friends have no issue with transgirls sharing their toilets.

You mean "dd and her friends have no issue with boys sharing their toilets."

So as adults they will have no issue with men in women's toilets, because it will seem normal to them.

And are you sure all the girls in the school feel like this? Have you asked them all? Do all the other parents agree? Have you asked them all?

Considering sd takes dd and her friends out/does their hair and make-up/ generally hangs out with them whenever she is home from uni and they all claim she is the coolest person they know, pretty confident, yeah.Just this weekend Sd took dd and her friends to a local water park (permitted here). They all think they are sooo cool and grown up driving off alone with an older girl.

Always the bloody same - thin veneer of oh so reasonable, but give it the slightest rub & you're through to the gloating that males will do what they want & yah boo sucks you can't stop it & you can't say no.

True. To Fastedbrownie, the answer to whether any girls felt uncomfortable about a male being in their spaces is dismissed by pointing out how successful this male was in their school achievements.

“Enough people thought my stepchild was wonderful that anyone who felt their boundaries were being dismissed doesn’t matter.”

Back to the question. Why does Social media think it's acceptable to allow males to post threats against women but the ban a woman for asking the question
" Is it right that an adult male with intact genitalia should have the right to share communal showers and changing rooms with teenage girls if they say they are a woman?

I would talk to the school and ask for the same provision that sd had when in the very early stages of transitioning - use the teacher's toilets

Why aren't male children not just using the boys' toilets with all the other boys? This would be a good opportunity to teach the other boys about tolerance, and that they should be kind to people who are different from them. The school should take a very hard line on any bullying.

Also, which teachers' toilets were they using? When I was teaching I'd have felt pretty uncomfortable with teenage boys being in the female teachers' toilet.

@NotBadConsidering

Always the bloody same - thin veneer of oh so reasonable, but give it the slightest rub & you're through to the gloating that males will do what they want & yah boo sucks you can't stop it & you can't say no.

True. To Fastedbrownie, the answer to whether any girls felt uncomfortable about a male being in their spaces is dismissed by pointing out how successful this male was in their school achievements.

“Enough people thought my stepchild was wonderful that anyone who felt their boundaries were being dismissed doesn’t matter.”

But that's just life. Not everybody is going to be comfortable all the time. On a crowded plane somebody is going to have to sit next to the one with horrendous body odor. Look on any mainstream education thread and you will find somebody who dislikes autistic children in their child's classroom too, but it's too fucking bad. You don't get to control other people or public spaces. If you don't like something, move.

And are you sure all the girls in the school feel like this? Have you asked them all? Do all the other parents agree? Have you asked them all?

You didn't answer these questions Fastedbrownie.

I note that transwomen are often seen as 'better' types of girls/women. Cooler, more popular etc.

Why aren't male children not just using the boys' toilets with all the other boys? This would be a good opportunity to teach the other boys about tolerance, and that they should be kind to people who are different from them

No one ever seems to want to teach boys about tolerance. I mean, males are just going to do what they want, aren't they? Only girls, where tolerance means "accept things you are deeply uncomfortable with for the sake of male people".

I note that transwomen are often seen as 'better' types of girls/women. Cooler, more popular etc.

The fawning on Facebook groups etc by women virtue signalling is truly cringeworthy.

But that's just life. Not everybody is going to be comfortable all the time. On a crowded plane somebody is going to have to sit next to the one with horrendous body odor. Look on any mainstream education thread and you will find somebody who dislikes autistic children in their child's classroom too, but it's too fucking bad. You don't get to control other people or public spaces. If you don't like something, move.

Just tell your other daughter that when she has to share a room with an adult male stranger.

Pretty sure students in teachers' toilets is a safeguarding nope, anyway.

At my school, one female staff toilet is next to a girls' loo. The student toilet is spacious & has big mirrors whereas the teacher one is a single cramped cubicle & has a tiny mirror above the basin.

Some female teachers were nipping into the girls' toilet to check their clothes were straight before school, or getting changed in there in order to go out after school.

A memo went out that this was unacceptable, even if no students were on site at the time.

So I can't see the logic that a female staff toilet is the correct facility for a) a teenage boy who doesn't want to use the boys' toilet or b) a girl who has been told she can't use the girls' if she isn't prepared to share it with any boys who would like to use it.

Look on any mainstream education thread and you will find somebody who dislikes autistic children in their child's classroom too, but it's too fucking bad

This isn't about autistic children in a space they have every right to use, this is about males in a space they don't have every right to use, because women and girls often need a female only space, and many don't consent to these spaces being mixed sex. It's not the same thing at all, so again your analogy doesn't work.

On a crowded plane somebody is going to have to sit next to the one with horrendous body odor. You don't get to control other people or public spaces. If you don't like something, move.

But we're like the person on that crowded plane. Where do we move to?

And why do you think you should get to control other people and public spaces? Who put you in charge? Why should we all have to defer to what you want?

If you don't like something, move

And where do you propose the girls go to get away from males like your step child? Could they perhaps have their own spaces, that are single sex?

When you get on a plane you expect to sit next to whoever. When you enter a single sex space you expect it to be single sex. You keep repeating that “you don’t get to control public spaces”. It’s not true. There are rules to many different spaces. Women and girls say no to males in single sex spaces.

Where should those girls go?

& on a plane, my space is my seat. I can't object to a smelly person sitting in their seat which happens to be adjacent from mine.

But I can reasonably object if I board to find someone else - smelly or not - has plonked themself in the seat reserved for me.

So that analogy certainly doesn't work.

it's too fucking bad. You don't get to control other people or public spaces. If you don't like something, move

Unless you're a male who wants to use female spaces, & then you're entitled to control them all you want, & it's 'too fucking bad' for the females?

Yeah...still a no from me.

I think this ideology is being displayed here:

You don't get to control other people or public spaces. If you don't like something, move.

O the irony!

I think you are giving your ddbsone dangerous messages fasted

I sincerely hope that it doesn't one day come back to bite you on the arse.

I see no good coming from.tellimg girls that aby male in their space may be trans and to just continue changing etc or they just withdraw from.pyblic life as that males feelings are more important.

I hope she doesn't spend months working on a campaign to become Head girl only to lose out fir someone who was a boy the year before and hasn't made half the effort your dd has to fulfil the role.

And I sincerely hope one day she doesn't meet a yaniv if the world in a train station toilet.

I hope it was worth it to avid that melt down and saying no.

@OldCrone

And are you sure all the girls in the school feel like this? Have you asked them all? Do all the other parents agree? Have you asked them all?

You didn't answer these questions Fastedbrownie.

Are we talking about dd's school or sd's boarding?

The boarding, no, because it wasn't any of the parents business, especially because we arranged with the school for sd to have a single ensuited room. It's sd's medical information, it's not for the school to be telling anybody else. Sd can tell who she wants, and everybody in her halls knew. If the other girl's didn't like it, nobody ever said, but regardless, sd had her own bedroom and bathroom, so again, it's nobody elses business.
Had she been sharing with girl's like she used to at camps, we would've spoken with the leaders to sort arrangements out so everybody was comfortable and informed. Very rarely that included rearranging cabins so girls whose parents didn't want them sharing were removed, but often it just included grouping sd with her friends and not anybody who didn't know her well. Often at camps sd would change in leaders tent etc, because she didn't/doesn't like getting naked in front of your daughter anymore than your dd likes getting naked in front of her.