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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you react if a family member or a friend chose not to have the vaccine?

329 replies

Laiste · 30/01/2021 17:34

Is this going to divide people and friendships?

(i know it's a minority who wont have it, but still ... how do you feel?)

OP posts:
Thejoyfulstar · 30/01/2021 17:36

I would respect their choice.

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 30/01/2021 17:36

I wouldn't ever fall out with someone over something like that. It's their choice. Not all my friends and family have to have the same beliefs as me

AStudyinPink · 30/01/2021 17:37

None of my business.

CeibaTree · 30/01/2021 17:40

I'm wouldn't react at all - why would
I?

ohidoliketobe · 30/01/2021 17:40

Quietly think they were being a bit foolish but not discuss or fall out with them over it.
It's still unknown how much it affects transmission from the vaccinated individual, just gives them a head start in fighting it when/ if they catch it, so they aren't putting anyone other than themselves at risk are they

Londonnight · 30/01/2021 17:40

Their choice, I don't have to agree with it, but I would never fall out with anyone over it.

Griselda1 · 30/01/2021 17:41

I'm not sure why I'd know or want to know

Original poster
Laiste · 30/01/2021 17:42

Someone in your household chooses not to?

OP posts:
zigaziga · 30/01/2021 17:42

I suppose if they refused the vaccine but were terrified of the virus and remaining shut away and extra cautious I might be a bit annoyed and would probably gradually stop bothering with them so much because that would seem like the worst of both worlds really.
So I guess I’d only be annoyed if it impacted me - so for instance the Op in the other thread whose PIL refused but wanted the Op to do their shopping, that would be a no. If someone refused the vaccine and would only see me, when lockdown ends and things get more normal of course, outside and socially distanced and it made seeing them much more difficult I would probably just not see them so much. Ultimately it would be their choice though, I just wouldn’t pander to it (so no doing people’s shoppings and taking precautions above and beyond for them etc).

muddledmidget · 30/01/2021 17:43

I don't think their personal decision on this matter would bother me, unlike someone who was blatantly disregarding lockdown and putting others at risk, and I can't work out if that is double standards. I believe in full autonomy in health matters, but also in following national laws/guidance with regards to lockdown, which isn't full autonomy in a health matter!

I'm not sure if part of this is that tge vaccine isn't available to all yet, and as long as no doses are going in the bin, I don't really mind whose arm they go into at the end of the day (as long as every effort went into booking appts for those in a priority group, no shows are unavoidable, and both my husband and I have received 'spare doses' as health and social workers

Serenschintte · 30/01/2021 17:43

I would say that’s their choice and respect it.
It’s similar to the HPV vaccine - it’s a choice whether to have it or not. Some people choose to and other not. We are not in a dictatorship (at least I hope not, even though it’s illegal to go on holiday at the moment)

Myneighboursnorlax · 30/01/2021 17:44

It depends on the reason. If they were worried about the side affects etc then I’d say it’s their choice. If they said they didn’t want it because they believe Bill Gates has put a chip in it, then I’d lose respect for them very quickly.

AStudyinPink · 30/01/2021 17:45

Same: still up to them. I’d discuss the reasons with my husband, but that’s it.

farwin · 30/01/2021 17:45

I have clinically vulnerable 70+ PILs who are not getting vaccinated. They are entitled to refuse if they want. However,
DH has made it clear we will not be visiting until they or us (and our 2DC) have been vaccinated. Between us we go to 3 schools (before Xmas we were each in a bubble of 90 - 150 in school). We don't want to be in the position where we one of us passes the virus on, PIL say they are happy to take the risk, but we are not prepared to put our DCs in that position.

ILiveInSalemsLot · 30/01/2021 17:45

Each to their own. I wouldn’t think anything. It’s a shame if people can’t get on because they have different personal views.
Mostly, people have more in common than differences. Well, that’s what I find.

GintyMcGinty · 30/01/2021 17:46

I have unfriended anti-vaxxers as it has made me realise we don't share the same values.

Its just so anti-social not to vaccinate I just don't want people like that in my life.

Godimabitch · 30/01/2021 17:47

Its entirely their decision.
But I wouldn't be around a vulnerable unvaccinated person until the case rates are super low. And I wouldn't run round after them either. You can make any decision you want but you're responsible for yourself.
PILs were doubtful, we told them we wouldn't be bringing baby to see them because we'd be in hospital and have midwives and health visitors round and other family members so we didn't know when it would be safe and I wanted my child to have grandparents for a long time and certainly not be the person that killed their own grandparents.

Sciurus83 · 30/01/2021 17:47

Likely cut them off. I have no time for anti vaxxers

Original poster
Laiste · 30/01/2021 17:47

muddledmidget - I don't think their personal decision on this matter would bother me, unlike someone who was blatantly disregarding lockdown and putting others at risk, and I can't work out if that is double standards.

Interesting point actually.

OP posts:
FFSAllTheGoodOnesArereadyTaken · 30/01/2021 17:47

My husbands mum wont have it. We are agreeing to disagree but we are not in any high risk groups so although we disagree with her decision and have made that clear, it doesnt affect us personally. If we were higher risk then maybe we would not see her til we were vaccinated

AStudyinPink · 30/01/2021 17:48

Not accepting a particular vaccination doesn’t make you an “anti-vaxxer”.

Lastbonestanding · 30/01/2021 17:48

I would not mind one bit.

evouk · 30/01/2021 17:48

If I've had the vaccine and somebody else hasn't it doesn't effect me as I'm now immune

honeybooboo26 · 30/01/2021 17:49

@Laiste

Is this going to divide people and friendships?

(i know it's a minority who wont have it, but still ... how do you feel?)

I don't think it would divide us, but I wouldn't feel very happy about their decision.
LittleBearPad · 30/01/2021 17:54

I would think they were foolish unless there were actual contraindications.

I’d have limited sympathy with anyone who refused a vaccine based on Facebook conspiracy chat etc who expected people to do their shopping and so on