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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you react if a family member or a friend chose not to have the vaccine?

329 replies

Laiste · 30/01/2021 17:34

Is this going to divide people and friendships?

(i know it's a minority who wont have it, but still ... how do you feel?)

OP posts:
guiltynetter · 30/01/2021 21:38

I'm honestly not bothered whether people have it or not. The only thing that would bother me was if they were anti all other vaccinations (an 'anti vaxxer') and started spouting all the rubbish about covid not being real...

I work for the NHS. I'm not planning on having it yet and neither are a fair few of my colleagues

Happylittlethoughts · 30/01/2021 21:41

My Mum (84) has decided not to have it. We are respecting her decision but hoping she changes her mind in time.

rosie1959 · 30/01/2021 21:49

All my family will be having the vaccine asap I don't know anybody that wont so cant really comment
My grown up children definitely want it one is a type 1 diabetic and they both like to travel and they have the theory that there will be no travel without vaccination.

Sparklesocks · 30/01/2021 22:04

I think I’d mainly be concerned that they’d get it and the potential of them getting very ill.

Buddytheelf85 · 30/01/2021 22:12

I just wouldn’t think it was any of my business, in the same way that I don’t think any other aspect of other people’s medical records are my business.

FelicityMingington · 30/01/2021 22:15

None of my bloody business, nor yours. One of the worst aspects of the last year is the fact that controlling busybodies seem to be under the impression that they have licence to interfere and pry.

TeacupDrama · 30/01/2021 22:16

While I will get the vaccine when it is finally offered to my age group , it is confidential information which I won't share, to be honest if a casual acquaintance or a stranger asked I would say it is none of your business and you have no more right to know whether I've had covid vaccine than you do whether I've had flu jab, hep B injection or whether I take statins. Bodily autonomy is really important no one can be forced to have even life saving treatment without consent. Once you start answering personal questions people think they have the right to know more and more.

itsgettingweird · 30/01/2021 22:23

Teacup interesting you say that. I had my first yesterday and was given a sticker "for your phone".

I stuck it to my hand gel!!!

I just felt I didn't need to advertise the fact (and of course there still 10's of millions of people waiting).

In fact I doubt anyone would have noticed if the plaster didn't leave me a lovely huge square rash 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣

DishedUp · 30/01/2021 22:39

I wouldn't really say what vaccinations I've had is personal information. I've really got no qualms telling anyone my vaccination history if they really want to know, yes its confidential if I want it to be but its just a vaccine. If someone said that to me its confidential and you've got know right to know I'd think they were a bit mental tbh

notacooldad · 30/01/2021 23:13

To all the people saying none of my business: that's kind of the problem. It is everybody's business to do their bit
But if someone has made up there mind about something it's not my place to make them have something they don't want.
How often on MN is the advice to someone who disagrees with someone else is ' you do you' That is all you can do.
People are making decisions about themselves based on what they think is right for them.

120459z · 30/01/2021 23:44

@countbackfromten
My husband ( previously fit and healthy, normal BMI, mid-50s) remains ventilated in ITU with Covid. Thank you for everything you do, you're amazing, what you do daily is incredible.
In answer to the OP, if any member of my family or a friend declined to be vaccinated after what they've witnessed me and our 2 teens go through, I'd never have any contact with them again. Luckily my friends and family are nearly all NHS clinical, so that situation won't arise.

ekidmxcl · 31/01/2021 00:06

I would privately think that they were a bit silly (unless they were under 30, in which case I'd probably think it was fine). But I'd never voice it as people can do what they want.

Covid is like Russian Roulette. OK there are risk factors, but plenty of people with many and serious risk factors have got better very quickly with few symptoms, whereas others with no risk factors have been really ill and in some cases died.

lavieenrosetintedglasses · 31/01/2021 00:08

DH doesn't want the vaccine. He's been offered an appointment next week.
He's not convinced that enough is known about it to have it. He's not an anti vaxxer in general, he's had other vaccines in recent years.
I won't get offered it for ages but do plan on having it.

We're each agreeing to do what we're comfortable with.
We probably won't tell people he's choosing not to have it to avoid these kind of debates. PiL messaging me saying I 'have to convince him' to have it.
Some friends know about the illness that got him on the CEV list which is why they might ask.
We haven't taken any supermarket slots for CEV people, we've taken turns to do food shopping, pharmacy etc. He takes extra precautions if he has an outpatients appointment, isolates prior to them.

My parents had it yesterday, they are really pleased. I think there are plenty of people who really want it, work colleagues also very excited to get it.

Ginflinger · 31/01/2021 00:11

MIL has refused it. She is late 70s and in very poor health. She is deep in conspiracy theories: completely lost to the QAnon-style alternate realities. A narcissist, who is thoroughly enjoying her childrens' concern about her decision.

I consider her to be deeply selfish and her thinking to be total hogwash. I feel contempt, frankly. Sure, her choice, but her choice is mainly based on the Facebook algorithm.

FuckOffBorisYouTwat · 31/01/2021 00:11

I would understand if they were a bit worried but if they were antivaxxers I would assume they were a bit easily led and gullible and struggle to respect them.

superblend · 31/01/2021 00:12

I don't expect I'd ask them, it's not the kind of thing we'd ever discuss tbh. We're the kind of family who never discuss who we voted for or if we voted Brexit, and we only mention health matters if it's materially relevant. I wouldn't care about what they do either way.

ElliFAntspoo · 31/01/2021 00:14

If its a friend or a family member its none of your business. They are the ones taking the risk, and they are the ones who'll die if they make a mistake assessing that risk.

If its your spouse/DP that is a whole different ball game. You have a responsibility to eachother to work these things out between you and move your family forward as a single cohesive unit.

LittleBearPad · 31/01/2021 00:15

Lol at people making informed choices not to have it. This isn’t true for a overwhelming majority of people who have no medical reason not to have it and are therefore being hugely stupid and selfish.

AuntyClementine · 31/01/2021 00:15

Completely a matter for them. None of my business. When I get the vaccine (which I don’t expect to be offered any time soon) I won’t be mentioning it or discussing it with any of friends or extended family.

PanamaPattie · 31/01/2021 00:16

I would respect their choice. I would however, go LC in case I accidentally passed on the virus - although I don't know anyone dumb enough not to the have the vaccine, so it won't be an issue.

Snoringmutt · 31/01/2021 00:17

Up to them.

chuffoff · 31/01/2021 00:19

Very conflicted about this. On one hand no one should have to put anything in their body that they don't feel comfortable with, on the other, what route out of the pandemic do we have other than vaccination? And therefore I find it pretty damn selfish that people who aren't comfortable with it are happy to benefit from everyone else who was vaccinated for the greater good.
As it is, I think vaccination passports will be a thing which might end up changing a few anti vaxxers minds . I recall needing a yellow fever vaccination certificate to go on holiday to Tanzania and didn't think much of it.

SheeshazAZ09 · 31/01/2021 00:22

If you’ve had the vaccine yourself and believe it will work then you don’t need to worry if some people don’t have it. But if the non vaccinated people want you to run around for them because they still insist on isolating then that is just taking the piss.

4redSocks · 31/01/2021 00:23

@AStudyinPink

None of my business.
Exactly this OP.
4redSocks · 31/01/2021 00:24

@LittleBearPad

Lol at people making informed choices not to have it. This isn’t true for a overwhelming majority of people who have no medical reason not to have it and are therefore being hugely stupid and selfish.
Are you medical?