Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you react if a family member or a friend chose not to have the vaccine?

329 replies

Laiste · 30/01/2021 17:34

Is this going to divide people and friendships?

(i know it's a minority who wont have it, but still ... how do you feel?)

OP posts:
SirGawain · 30/01/2021 21:09

@Thejoyfulstar

I would respect their choice.
So would I but unless there was some overriding medical reason I would still think that they were foolish and selfish.
XenoBitch · 30/01/2021 21:09

@Buzzinwithbez

I'm really surprised at people prepared to lose friendships. Even if I've been really scared for a friend because of their decision, I've tried to deal with those feelings in private and not to put them on them.
Same. I find it sad that some people are willing to walk away from a friendship over this. I have friends who have their sleeves rolled up ready, others that have no intention of having the vaccine, and a lot of unsure people in between too. I wont be having it, and I would be wondering if anyone who walks away from me for that was ever a true friend to begin with.
christmasathomeagain · 30/01/2021 21:10

As far as I know having the vaccine doesn't stop you catching it or passing it on it just makes you less likely to be seriously ill and hospitalised. If that is the case then anti vaxers are hurting themselves more than others - well kind of, if they are hospitalised they could be taking care away from others.

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 30/01/2021 21:12

If it was someone vulnerable and their death would be something I would find upsetting, then I would actively be upset about it. I would make clear that their decision to not get vaccinated means I would not be visiting them in person, they don’t get to demand I have their death on my conscience.

If it was a family member I’m not fond of, I would think them a total tool and be even less likely to want to have contact with them. I would think them selfish, ignorant and antisocial. Their choice to be all of gathers, my choice to not have a relationship with someone like that.

Thankfully I don’t have any friends or family like either of the above Grin

itsgettingweird · 30/01/2021 21:13

I wouldn't fall out over it.

Me, my parents and my sister have had it.

Ds is group 6.

Not sure how my brother feels and haven't asked him! I couldn't imagine him being anti vax but it's his choice.

I know a few anti Vaxers. I've always said I respect their views but I will not tolerate them telling me why I'm stupid for allowing vaccine. I draw the line there because I don't do the same.

I'm willing to discuss with those unsure why I chose it and listen to their concerns but I don't try and persuade them either way.

gwenneh · 30/01/2021 21:14

I've had the vaccine. I wouldn't look down on anyone who chooses not to. That being said, I've been pleasantly surprised in that all of the people who I would have expected to refuse it have not.

All the vaccine does is reduce my personal level of peril. If they choose not to reduce theirs, that's their choice.

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 30/01/2021 21:15

@Timbucktime

I would respect their decision as it’s their body and their choice to make, nobody else’s.
See the problem is, vaccines also stop you passing it on to others (in this case, the exact rate it reduces transmission is unknown, but it is believed to substantially affect it).

So someone else’s choice to be selfish and stupid potentially kills someone else. It is inherently a moral decision. Moronic anti-vaxers who send their kids to school without their jabs end up killing vulnerable kids. Yes it’s legally their choice, but it still makes them terrible people.

Hollywhiskey · 30/01/2021 21:16

My in-laws won't have it, and they are vulnerable due to their age. They are committed antivaxxers and conspiracy theorists so it's not a surprise though.
We won't do anything differently. I won't keep my kids home from nursery or avoid seeing my family, friends, travelling, or doing things when they are allowed in order to protect my in laws. They have a choice and we would feel dreadful if we gave them covid and they got seriously ill or worse, but I am not going to lock my family up for them a day longer than I have to, and I'm not going to ask my husband not to see his parents. The government will offer them an approved vaccine in the next few weeks and they will make their own choice.

Clicketyclick21 · 30/01/2021 21:17

It's their body so its their choice whether to have the vaccine or not. Freedom of choice is always bandied about on mn so I would respect their choice. I might not agree with them but I would respect their choice.

BritWifeinUSA · 30/01/2021 21:18

I’m nothing to have it. My family have no issue with that. Most of them won’t be having it either.

BritWifeinUSA · 30/01/2021 21:18

Not going

minchinfin · 30/01/2021 21:18

I would think much, much less of them,

I wouldn't say anything unless they asked me and then I would tell them I thought they were being very, very foolish.

k1233 · 30/01/2021 21:18

Seeing what has happened with the Hendra vaccination in Australia - horse related and class action underway due to side effects - I'm hesitant on the COVID vaccination. They say Hendra vax was rushed, I think COVID vax is more so. I'm not sure there has been enough testing on long term impacts and that's a genuine concern for some. Medicine does get it wrong and side effects of drugs can not be noticed for some time.

Hendra is more deadly than COVID. The vaccine is given to horses not people. Vets do refuse to treat unvaccinated horses presenting Hendra symptoms until tests come back negative. The issue being Hendra symptoms are quite broad. My horses are vaccinated (we're in a high risk area) and haven't had adverse reactions, however there are seemingly enough adverse reactions to justify a class action.

earthyfire · 30/01/2021 21:20

None of my business

MrsBrunch · 30/01/2021 21:21

See the problem is, vaccines also stop you passing it on to others (in this case, the exact rate it reduces transmission is unknown, but it is believed to substantially affect it)

That's not true. The vaccine does not prevent anyone catching or passing on the virus. It just makes them asymptomatic i.e. they won't be ill enough to need treatment.

Calmandmeasured1 · 30/01/2021 21:22

It would depend on who it is and why they didn't want the vaccine. I would respect their choice not to have the vaccine but they would have to respect my decision not to see them unless outside and socially-distanced. I can imagine I'd get to the stage where I couldn't be bothered to see the friend if it was constantly meeting up outside in bad weather though. I'd be a fair weather friend.

Zofrasi · 30/01/2021 21:23

@gwenneh

I've had the vaccine. I wouldn't look down on anyone who chooses not to. That being said, I've been pleasantly surprised in that all of the people who I would have expected to refuse it have not.

All the vaccine does is reduce my personal level of peril. If they choose not to reduce theirs, that's their choice.

Except that they then may have to be treated in hospitals that have huge backlogs.
Zofrasi · 30/01/2021 21:25

To all the people saying none of my business: that's kind of the problem. It is everybody's business to do their bit.

LadyJaye · 30/01/2021 21:26

Do you know, if Covid has shown us anything, it's how staggeringly innumerate the vast majority of people are when it comes to understanding statistics on a population level.

2Rebecca · 30/01/2021 21:28

It depends how old they are. I'd have more concerns about my 80 year old father than my son in his 20s but would still try to persuade him but amongst the young a vaccination is an altruistic action

DishedUp · 30/01/2021 21:29

I think it depends on their reasoning. But generally I'd think they were selfish, and I'd question their judgement, especially if they were in healthcare.

I certainly don't think anyone who won't vaccinate has any right to moan about lockdown. We are relying on herd immunity to get us out of this mess and we can't do that without vaccination.

However I wouldn't fall out with anyone over it. Maybe if it was DP we'd have a bit of an argument, it depends how close of a friend/family member.

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 30/01/2021 21:30

@MrsBrunch

See the problem is, vaccines also stop you passing it on to others (in this case, the exact rate it reduces transmission is unknown, but it is believed to substantially affect it)

That's not true. The vaccine does not prevent anyone catching or passing on the virus. It just makes them asymptomatic i.e. they won't be ill enough to need treatment.

That’s actually not true. Data is not certain but it makes you significantly less likely to pass it on. Jonathan Van Tam says they do know it helps prevent transmission, they just don’t have data yet on to what EXTENT it does. Said studies currently underway to establish this data.

www.newscientist.com/article/2266330-how-effective-are-coronavirus-vaccines-at-stopping-transmission/

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/news.sky.com/story/amp/covid-19-vaccines-cant-fail-to-reduce-spread-of-virus-says-professor-jonathan-van-tam-12200602

PinkiOcelot · 30/01/2021 21:31

I wouldn’t think anything of it. None of my business.

Those who would give up on friendships, you’re totally doing your friends a favour. Why would they want to be friends with judgemental pillocks like you?!!

PufferFishGoneWrong · 30/01/2021 21:34

@AStudyinPink

Not accepting a particular vaccination doesn’t make you an “anti-vaxxer”.
This.
TwirpingBird · 30/01/2021 21:36

One of my best friends has chosen not to get it when she is offered. It makes no difference to our friendship. We differ on many other opinions, mainly politics, but we accept each others ideas and we leave it out of our relationship

Swipe left for the next trending thread