to think that the effect on children's mental health is exaggerated?

[SmudgeButt]

Look I have no doubt that lots of kids are missing their friends, school, grandparents. And all of these things will effect their development and mental health. But is it really that bad a situation compared to other things in the past?? Or is it just that we talk about it a whole nauseatingly more?

I'm thinking that the current situation isn't a patch on the effect of living in a country that's at war - thinking back to WW2 and the effect of being suddenly shipped off to strangers in the countryside or even to a different country. Thinking of those children in Europe who suddenly had to fend for themselves in Jewish ghettos or concentration camps.

People that survived (yes a lot didn't as they were murdered) no doubt had lifetime impacts but so many of their children say "dad was always cheerful, never talked about what happened".

AIBU to think that in a few years kids of today will say "wow, that was weird and I'm glad it's over, now let's get one with life" ?

I was largely unaware of the MH impact on children until my previously happy and mentally robust 12yr old had a breakdown. Not a bit of a cry or a bad week, but a full MH breakdown including suicide ideation.

I suggest that OP should count their blessings and privilege if they have no insight into the psychological effects of this pandemic.

My grandad told me when his dad came back from the war he used to wake the household up with his screaming as he had such bad nightmares from what he'd seen. He had major PTSD. My grandad still remembered the sound of his father crying in terror and he's 93. Yes they were bloody affected.

Do any of the "alright Jack" brigade honestly believe that this time last year they would have agreed to locking their children indoors, made them stare at a screen for 8 hours a day and only allow them out for one walk a day for their own protection

I haven't agreed to any of that, I am in England where we don't have a strict lockdown (I am not denying others don't have one), that's nowhere near my kids own experience.

It's people who live in the same conditions as us but pretending things are worst than they are who are making it worst.

You'd think no-one ever spent more than 1 hour with their kids a week pre-lockdown if you listen to some

You’re assuming all the children were happy in heathy situations before this started. So many weren’t and their situations will have been massively worsened by the isolation and deprivation of support services. There are children who will never fully recover from the impact of this pandemic on their well-being.

My kids are totally fine, generally very resilient, as are most of the kids we know.
For now. Who knows how this all might affect them in the future?

The kids I know who aren’t ok are VERY VERY not ok, including 2 teen girls, 1 currently hospitalised due to MH.

YABVU

I agree OP. It's the guilt tripping. I saw one of those '"look into her eyes" adverts yesterday. It was the one that said and tell her that you really couldnt work from home. What's someone to do if their boss makes them come to work? And all this if you bend the rules, people will die. Young people will be terrified in case they unwittingly kill some one. And tbf a lot of the rhetoric around you're killing people/murderers because you went to the supermarket 3 times in a week is very disturbing, more so to children who soak things up like sponges

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

My dd is in hospital mentally and physically ill for the 4th time since lockdown. Do tell me how to sort it out. I’m obviously sitting here twiddling my thumbs and haven’t spent hours trying to help.

I think many children, especially teens, are struggling - but do think some of the media/social media stuff will become a self fulfilling prophecy - children are hearing that they will be depressed, have poor educational outcomes etc, and in many cases it won't be true.

@FluffyPJs

You should google ACEs - adverse childhood experiences - and see how traumatic events in childhood have an impact on their future mental and physical health. Everyone says children are so resilient and they bounce back so well, but actually research shows they don't, they just mask it very well. This is why schools are focusing so much on the pupils mental well being and emotional health at the moment

This ^^ It can mess up your entire life. I had a horrible childhood. It would be selfish, dismissive and hard-hearted of me to say that because I had suffered, other people weren't allowed to. In fact, my mum used to make out like she was the only person entitled to be upset or ill. She was a narcissist. I feel sorry for the people who dismiss other people's pain because they must be emotional burns victims themselves. I hope you get help with yours, OP.

It's the guilt tripping.

If you have nothing to be guilty about, why do you care?
My postman is not guilty to be working. That's not what it's all about.

There are a lot of people who have mental issues who are being pushed over the edge. My friend said she read in the papers in the US of a 9 year old boy commuting suicide. And there was another boy who was murdered by his father in a murder suicide. These situations might have been prevented if people were not being isolated and talking to people. Someone might have seen the red flags etc.

But then again there are a lot of others who are making the best of things and able to cope mentally.

I’m bored out of my mind most days, and it’s been shit raining all day today and we managed to go out for walks, family time and best of all no tv or screens all day. We are saving it for tonight when we do family movie w popcorn.

But some kids have parents that don’t take them out for days on end. Just read and commented on a thread on here from a mom asking if it was okay that she never takes her four kids out. They are shut in all the time for days on end ....not good and will negatively impact the kids I’m sure.

@reprehensibleme

I think many children, especially teens, are struggling - but do think some of the media/social media stuff will become a self fulfilling prophecy - children are hearing that they will be depressed, have poor educational outcomes etc, and in many cases it won't be true.

exactly.

@FluffyPJs

You should google ACEs - adverse childhood experiences - and see how traumatic events in childhood have an impact on their future mental and physical health. Everyone says children are so resilient and they bounce back so well, but actually research shows they don't, they just mask it very well. This is why schools are focusing so much on the pupils mental well being and emotional health at the moment

Yes this, but I think the point about ACEs is that for children who have already experienced trauma, the impact of COVID is deeply concerning as it will magnify and compound those issues.

Children who have not suffered an earlier ACE will hopefully bounce back in time, being home schooled in a caring home, with food on the table, is frustrating and lonely but not trauma inducing in itself. (Unless compounded by other issues of poverty or bereavement of course).

There's been more deaths than ww2 and ww1 combined so let's not underestimate the fear we are living in.

How many people do you think died in the wars?!

Covid deaths - 2.2m
World War One - 40m
World War Two - 75m

Children are resilient but my child was sat in front of his laptop with tears pouring down his face Thursday quietly crying we would be negligent to assume this is not affecting there mental health

@reprehensibleme

I think many children, especially teens, are struggling - but do think some of the media/social media stuff will become a self fulfilling prophecy - children are hearing that they will be depressed, have poor educational outcomes etc, and in many cases it won't be true.

I agree with this to a point. Someone said their child is scared and I wonder why your child is scared? I presume they are small and not teens as you would have said so. I feel it is a bit like the parents who are afraid of dogs passing that fear to their kids when there is nothing for children to fear. And the people who are locking their children up and sitting them in front of screens for 8hrs only letting them out once a day? Are you in the UK? If so why are you doing this, of course this is damaging, try parenting. There is a heck of a lot of hysteria perpetuated by people who are anti lovkdown and they are feeding the fear and hopelessness.

Child survivors of ww2 and ww1 were often so traumatised they didn’t talk about it. Ww2 kids would also have been more likely to have been raised by widows / single mums / emotionally damaged war veterens from ww1 and back then without any support I bet many of them (even in Germany) were self-sufficient even before the war.

The only thing Peaky Blinders got right from a historical pov is the mental scarring of ww1. The men that returned from the frontline weren’t normal and definitely didn’t raise normal families. The women who were expected to raise kids and work single handedly during ww1 but then lost everything when the men returned lost out too on so many fronts from being unable to find skilled work, to suddenly abusive husbands.

That’s why the UK needed to create the welfare state. Two wars had created a huge need to support war vets and their families.

I work in healthcare, we have seen a huge increase in suicide attempts and child neglect

It's the guilt tripping.

If you have nothing to be guilty about, why do you care?
My postman is not guilty to be working.That's not what it's all about.

The advert I mentioned- look her in the eye and tell her you couldnt work from home? The advert is designed to make workers feel guilty but if my boss says I have to work in the office, I have no control over it.

I think the manipulation is actually disgusting.

Children living in WW2 would not be counting deaths. Numbers of deaths don’t have an impact on children living miles away from where the deaths are happening. Covid is everywhere in every part of their lives. Kids don’t sit for hours bemoaning wow is me they watch crap tv shows, scroll endlessly and try to focus on their work. Those who have spent half the year stuck in their own house with parents trying to work have lost motivation and have little to look forward to. They can only go out for an hour and close by, they are missing friends and grandparents. There isn’t endless money for indoor activities......

But yeah WWW2 saw more deaths so there won’t be a Covid mental health crisis.

@AiryFairyMum

It's easy to look back with rose-tinted spectacles and think that everything pre-covid was better. But a lot of mental health problems were actually worse when we were all out, rushing around and with infinite choice. The current restrictions arent necessarily worse, they just throw up different issues, which impact some people worse than others.

Totally agree.

It’s going to take years before we fully understand the impact.

Some kids who were already in vulnerable situations are going to suffer more, I expect.

However, I do think that kids in a loving, stable set up are going to bounce back from this. While it’s not ideal, it will teach them that bad times don’t last forever.

Dare I say it, but I think kids often take their cues from their parents, so how we react to this is bound to have an effect.

( That statement isn’t to blame people btw. I just mean we have some control over this)

And the people who are locking their children up and sitting them in front of screens for 8hrs only letting them out once a day? Are you in the UK? If so why are you doing this, of course this is damaging, try parenting.

this, a million times this

@IDontMindMarmite

I know I've already quoted you, but I thought if I tagged you then you will probably get a notification.

Please do some research! And don't say things like this in a forum. Some people are stupid enough to believe it. Then we are in a real mess!

2.2 million is very very different to 100+ Million.

How you though less then 2.2 million people died In a war that involved over 100 countries is baffling.
I don't want to put you down but please do some reading up about the war.

I think that comparing WW1 and WW2 to this pandemic is impossible.
People had their communities in those times, many are really shut out from their families, friends and wider communities during these times.

I do think that children are massively affected. My DD is less affected now than in the first lockdown, however I can tell you that there's a whole heap of stuff that she does miss.

There are lots of things that just aren't happening now and hadn't happened during 2020. Ofcourse what our children have lost are not what everyone else has always had, and there have been people worse affected, however its not really helpful to anyone to point out is it?

Ffs does something have to be worse than WWII to warrant complaint