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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that the effect on children's mental health is exaggerated?

614 replies

SmudgeButt · 30/01/2021 13:17

Look I have no doubt that lots of kids are missing their friends, school, grandparents. And all of these things will effect their development and mental health. But is it really that bad a situation compared to other things in the past?? Or is it just that we talk about it a whole nauseatingly more?

I'm thinking that the current situation isn't a patch on the effect of living in a country that's at war - thinking back to WW2 and the effect of being suddenly shipped off to strangers in the countryside or even to a different country. Thinking of those children in Europe who suddenly had to fend for themselves in Jewish ghettos or concentration camps.

People that survived (yes a lot didn't as they were murdered) no doubt had lifetime impacts but so many of their children say "dad was always cheerful, never talked about what happened".

AIBU to think that in a few years kids of today will say "wow, that was weird and I'm glad it's over, now let's get one with life" ?

OP posts:
HamnetandJudith · 30/01/2021 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ for repeating deleted post.

HamnetandJudith · 30/01/2021 22:05

People are horrible aren’t they. What a world we live in.

Silenceisgolden20 · 30/01/2021 22:06

@user47000000000

No doubt there are people with MH problems... genuine ones...

Otherwise, suck it up, realise the world doesn’t revolve around you, if you’re a parent then teach your child resilience and gratitude.

The “MH” epidemic could be sorted to some degree if people stopped all being so entitled and thinking the world revolves around them.

Excluding genuine abuse etc in homes

Excluding genuine abuse Wow, how caring of you.
Notthis2 · 30/01/2021 22:06

Anyone I have heard making the exact point the op has doesn't have children , that's my experience and I bet im right about the op.
And obviously people in lockdown with children probably do have a slightly better idea of what it's like with them and the positives and negatives on their mental health. My kids are doing really well because we are lucky and in a good situation, some kids aren't and that isn't simple due to the parents " not doing a good job"....
What do you mean " it's not fair to take it on the kids , they didn't ask to be here " , what a totally bizarre comment to make when people are defending their children and trying to help them and also to defend them on this thread making the ridiculous comparison with World wars...

user47000000000 · 30/01/2021 22:08

silence it’s an Internet forum, I’m paraphrasing some thoughts...

If people have real concerns about their kids they shouldn’t be on a forum full of randoms. I agree with OP for the most part

user47000000000 · 30/01/2021 22:09

I mean they shouldn’t be trying to find the answers from strangers on a forum!

HamnetandJudith · 30/01/2021 22:09

Is it my fault if my dd is autistic? Do you acknowledge that undiagnosed ASD can be a massive factor in MH issues? Or that good parents can struggle with their dc?

Mang0Mel0n · 30/01/2021 22:10

User nobody is trying to find answers but are responding to a really vicious, damaging and ill informed thread.

HamnetandJudith · 30/01/2021 22:10

@user47000000000

I mean they shouldn’t be trying to find the answers from strangers on a forum!
I’m not. That’s why I have support from CAMHS; a school counsellor; various support groups; school and my GP. But I will post here if I think someone is spouting rubbish.
Littleposh · 30/01/2021 22:11

Thank you for your kind words. Everyday is a challenge but every little win we have is so amazing and brings us a tiny bit closer to having an absolutely beautiful human being back to how she was

Notthis2 · 30/01/2021 22:11

Do you have kids @user47000000000?

lockedownloretta · 30/01/2021 22:11

This pandemic has brought out the absolute worst in people. Really.

Just bloody unbelievable how horrible people can be.

Notthis2 · 30/01/2021 22:13

And yes it is a relevant question to somebody who largely agrees with an op who has made sweeping statements re children's mental health and resilience during a global pandemic.

user47000000000 · 30/01/2021 22:14

notthis yes, 3

Silenceisgolden20 · 30/01/2021 22:15

@lockedownloretta

This pandemic has brought out the absolute worst in people. Really.

Just bloody unbelievable how horrible people can be.

I agree. Some many judgements
mbosnz · 30/01/2021 22:15

It brings out the best too.

People talking to their neighbours, when they hadn't. Offering to get groceries.

Looking out for each other.

It's not easy - for many people. And we're all doing our best.

Mang0Mel0n · 30/01/2021 22:16

Littleposh the journey I’m on with my dc has really opened my eyes up to how amazing so many parents are. Truly amazing. Sounds like you are .We will get there, it’s hard to see at the moment but we will. Flowers

Matreshka · 30/01/2021 22:16

Not everything is to do with the home situation.
My normally very positive, active eight year old has a warm house with a garden, plenty of food, parents that spend time with him, all technology he needs to study and a fun older sibling, who spoils him rotten and reads and plays with him daily. And I think he is sliding into a depression. He is not just a bit sad, not a bit lonely, not bored, he looks depressed.

I have no idea how to help him. I’ve never seen him like that, it’s like the light has gone out of him, he just wants to be back at school with his friends. I don’t know how to make him more resilient and it breaks my heart.

I wish people would just stop minimising! It’s like children don’t matter…

And when we do go out for our daily walks and he is running in the park, he is getting occasional dirty looks from people who probably feel he should be locked up at home with the rest of the ‘little super spreaders.’…

HamnetandJudith · 30/01/2021 22:17

It’s easy to make judgements when you have no experience.

ichundich · 30/01/2021 22:19

I'd rather be raising my child through WW2 than this to, frankly. Whilst I can imagine the stress on women was inconceivable, the fact that schools remained open, food existed and there was more than plenty to actually do in WW2 means that it was in all likelihood far easier to create an illusion of some normality for children than it is right now. It seems like it would have been, for me, easier to be a mother then than through this to be quite blunt.

@Carolbaskin Whilst I don't agree with the OP, I think you need to brush up on your history of WWII!

Buddytheelf85 · 30/01/2021 22:21

I haven’t RTFT so I’m sorry if this has been shared already but there was an article about this on BBC today:

Covid: The devastating toll of the pandemic on children www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-55863841

In short there are pretty clear signs it is having a negative effect on children’s mental health.

‘Resilience’ is a frequently misused word. But it isn’t necessarily a good thing. People can become too resilient. It’s a paradox. It can mean they tolerate too much.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 30/01/2021 22:21

The current situation is really very odd. People are socially isolated in a way that is completely at odds with how human beings have evolved and developed over millennia. Our communities & social networks are a key part of our ability to cope with stressful situations.

LetItGoGo · 30/01/2021 22:24

Absolutely, being with people is stress busting.

CarolBaskin · 30/01/2021 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ichundich · 30/01/2021 22:28

@CarolBaskin I did indeed mean to refer to CarolEffinBaskin, not you, sorry!

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