Something unkind which has stayed for you forever 😟

[Heartbrokenstill]

My grandmother who I never saw from year to year.. I was about 7 when my mam and dad took me to hers at Christmas (I never ever got a Xmas gift or card/birthday card/gift from her) I was a shy quiet child and she had a real Christmas tree in her sitting room and I put my hand underneath a beautiful tree toy just to look.. not taking it off the tree or anything and she smacked my hand away.. mam and dad was drinking tea and never saw she died years ago but I still feel the sadness of the little 7 year old I was all them years ago .. Don't know what I want from this post but lockdown really makes you feel low... I am nearly 60 no just to give you a idea how long ago it was

@user234987653

Your Brothers wife sounds like a "Psycho Arsehole" ! 😬
throwing most of your family photos in the Bin like that.

really sorry that you had such shit experience as that,especially after losing your mother. xxx

Something else has just occurred to me...

I must have been about 8-9 and was in my friend's house. We were going out somewhere that evening and I was waiting for her.

Her uncle said 'you should go home and get ready'.

(And of course, being a little kid, you don't necessarily realise someone's setting you up to take the piss out of you.)

I said 'i am ready' and he said (in a room full of adults) 'you could have fooled me!'

Bastard.

Muchos love to everyone on this thread...💐

Thanks for posting this. Things are hard and testing for so many people right now, and tempers can run short. I’m less tolerant than I’d hope to be some days and it’s a really good reminder that things ‘stick’ with kids, even if it’s just a moment of frustration for us. A reminder to do better

@Lachimolala

I still have my yearbook. I've kept it as reminder when the self doubt gets bad. "It wasnt me, it was them."

@Iheardit

At school, we were talking about the characters of Winnie the Pooh, one girl was saying how she didn’t like piglet as he was small and ugly. She then looked at me and said ‘you remind me of piglet’. We were in high school, and this was 20+ years ago. Still hurts

Totally off point, but Piglet was always my favourite because he was small but well-meaning and tried hard and was brave and loyal. A bit like Peso in Octonauts, really...

Also, I'm so sorry to hear all these stories. I still remember always having to be He-Man to the 'cool girls' who took turns being She-Ra, because I was so tall, I hated that too.

EvieBoo2 It's the same for me - numerous instances of being called 'ugly' by complete strangers.

One that particularly stayed with me was being about 14 on a school trip, in the coach on the way home. We were inching down a busy high street and a group of lads on the pavement opposite, probably slightly older than us, zoned in on me through the window and started loudly jeering at me and laughing. It seemed to go on forever although it was probably only a few minutes before the coach sped up and away from them. No one on the coach said anything to me about it, for which I was grateful.

I remember we were in the very early stages of our Foster to Adopt placement with our son he was four months old and despite being shattered (he had only been with us four weeks) we went to my MIL house to make her Christmas dinner (none of her other kids can be arsed). The great grandchildren were there and are similar ages to my son. She had bought them several presents each and bought my son a teether for a quid. She openly admitted that she had bought him less " in case he goes back". I was stunned especially as my husband is also adopted.
My mum and dad made him feel welcome with lots of gifts, he was passed around the house and told how loved he was so that made up for it.
Odd though coz my MIL is not at all a bad person she has brought his gifts in line with the others now and adores him openly. He doesn't know and I'll never forget.

When I was pregnant last year I was really poorly. A few team members, who I regarded as a friends, suddenly became really shitty with me and caused all sorts of problems including spreading rumours and trying to verbally humiliate me in front of others. We work in a statutory setting, ie you need to have a degree to do the role so registered professionals. I'll never forget that and it's a good job I was so poorly and wasn't in the right frame of mind to confront them.

One spread a rumour that if had a miscarriage. She doesn't know that I know that.

A total bitch of a teacher said to my child that she didn't think they could smile. No, he could but he hated the way you looked at him and wouldn't smile when near you as you made him miserable.

Oh, more than I care to remember...

We’d just moved to a new area, I’d changed schools. Two girls from my class loved quite close, I saw them out one day. They looked at me and laughed, I said what was so funnny and they said Your face, we’ve never seen anyone with a face like that.

My mother forcing me into pleated skirts because I shouldn’t wear straights skirts, “not with your legs”.

Bitch PE teacher yelling at me for”standing about like a drongo” during netball. I was goal keeper on the crap team, the action was all at the other end of the court.

It's interesting to me how many of these memories involve teachers. They really do have the potential to have a massive impact on the children they teach, good or bad.

best not to spend time on this stuff, you can bet the other party doesn't give two hoots.

The source of all the hurtful comments I remember was my mother, but the one that stung the most, weirdly, was only a few years ago , and I was in my late forties.

I was telling her a story about my karate group, and mentioned that one of my male friends had told me I was 'Posh Totty' (it was a jokey conversation).

But my mother cut me to the quick by saying "Really? You?" in such tones of utter disbelief that I faltered in the story and tears sprang to my eyes.

It just goes to show, sometimes people never stop hoping for validation from their parents, no matter how old they get, and no matter how often they've been denied it.

When I was in my early twenties, a co-worker said I looked like a man. I pulled a shocked face. So he'd say it over and over each time we were out as a group. I think he liked shocking people. But still, I would wonder if I did!

The other week, my sister found pictures of us as children, she sent me my first school picture, I was 5 in the photo.

I was bullied very badly in school and I was that child that no one wanted to play with. When I saw the photo I started crying and kept thinking “what was it about you that no one liked?” I felt sorry for that girl in the photo even though it was me.

My grandmother...

"If you weren't so fat you'd be pretty"

I was 11 and it still hurts 30 odd years later.

@Spied

As an eleven yr old I saved up to buy a new t-shirt for our school sports day as we didn't have to wear the PE kit on sports day. I loved this floral t-shirt and thought I looked nice. PE teacher, in front of the whole class asked me if I'd made the t-shirt out if a pair of old curtains. She was an evil bully.

I had a teacher who did that to me about a pair of leg warmers that I got for Christmas. She told us that her last class were a lot cleverer than us even though they had knives 🙄

got my first ever new kitchen, and chose dark grey units. With white walls I decided to get a retro style green fridge which looked lovely in the kitchen. My sister walked in and the first thing she said was 'well, the fridge doesnt go'.

As a teen 2 things happened to me in the space of a month which has had a lasting impact on my working life. I turned up for an interview (just for a pot washer at a pub). The man who owned the pub started shouting at me saying you had to be 18 and that I had wasted his time etc. I then got a waitressing job at the pub my sister worked at and again was asked at on my very first shift for standing in the wrong place and asked my sister to tell me not to come back. I was already at a very low point with a difficult home and school life and these two (what seem like petty things) have stayed with me.

7 years old and spending the hours between school and my dad getting home from work each week day at the house of my mom's friend, while my mom was in hospital.
Overhead the friend say to her husband 'I can't wait to have a night without that little madam here'

@lachy

My grandmother...

"If you weren't so fat you'd be pretty"

I was 11 and it still hurts 30 odd years later.

I'm sorry.

That's crap.

🤧

Fuck me

Some of these are raw.

I'm so sorry.

I have a couple but the one that sticks with me is when I was in labour with my ds2 some administrator came in and told me to make less noise as they could hear me in the corridor. The midwife sent her off with a flea in her ear but the damage was done. How dare she walk in when I was so vulnerable and belittle me. I still feel so ashamed now.