Something unkind which has stayed for you forever 😟

[Heartbrokenstill]

My grandmother who I never saw from year to year.. I was about 7 when my mam and dad took me to hers at Christmas (I never ever got a Xmas gift or card/birthday card/gift from her) I was a shy quiet child and she had a real Christmas tree in her sitting room and I put my hand underneath a beautiful tree toy just to look.. not taking it off the tree or anything and she smacked my hand away.. mam and dad was drinking tea and never saw she died years ago but I still feel the sadness of the little 7 year old I was all them years ago .. Don't know what I want from this post but lockdown really makes you feel low... I am nearly 60 no just to give you a idea how long ago it was

I remember when I used to live in Germany I running to catch a train at a very busy and crowded station one summers evening . There was some football event on that day and lots of people had been drinking and partying. As a I went past a group of men (late teens early 20s sort of age) two of them jeered and called me fat and the group of them laughed. I just carried on and pretended I hadn't heard them but my God it really stung! I was embarrassed and also in a rush but it's always stuck with me and it was years ago. They were young, drunk and immature but even so.

Oh god so many now I think about it.

Reception class we were divided into 2 teams - the good children and the naughty children. I was on the naughty side and ive no idea why. That teacher was horrible but that incident sticks out in the memory.

Strangers yelling at teenage me on the street oi ginge have you got ginger pubes?

Why did you do that dont you have any brains at all? from a PE teacher. Even if I had no brains that doesnt mean I deserve to be shouted at.

*I was running

When I was about 4 I got a chance to colour in a tinkerbell style fairy to send off in a competition-the prize was a goodie bag of fairy stuff and colouring books
I spent hours on it-I put my heart and soul into making it perfect-well in my 4 year old eyes it was
I’d tried really hard not to go over the lines and everything
My mother took one look
‘That’s shite-I’m not sending that in,it’s that bad they’ll just reject it’
Then she tore it up and binned it
I’ve never forgotten the hurt over that blasted fairy (and I’m nc with her now)

Bullied by a boy I thought was a friend started at age 8 over the size of my nose. I never even thought of my nose as big until the day he told me in front of all the class. He also punched me in the stomach repeatedly when I showed I was upset. It stayed with me I would never have photos taken from the side. I then went through rhinoplasty in my early 20's and sadly had to have it operated on again due to it healing out of place it's still not right now so not only have scars mentally but physically due to his torment of me. His bullying destroyed the happy hour lucky girl I was I never knew unkindness until he set about me. I'm almost 40 and still cry when I think of the years of abuse I endured. He's a hateful pompous knob head even now he unfortunately popped up on my social media through an old school friend and it made me feel sick to the pit of my stomach.
So sorry for everyone else's stories things really do stay with us a life time xx

@KnobblyWand. 😢😢😢

Too many to mention but I remember so many... Someone when I was about 9 calling me "4-eyes" and laughing at me with their friends. The years of bullying at secondary school, including dozens of specific incidents. The time someone shouted at me because they had to wait for me to come back off my break at a shop, even though there was a sign up saying I'd be back at a certain time and asking them to go to a till on the floor below. But apparently I should have been there waiting for them and, even though they had to go right past another till on their way out, they needed MY till at that exact moment. And my recent work situation which is taking a toll on my mental health due to incidents with two colleagues (middle-aged women!), including name-calling and ganging up on me.

I'm finding it hard these days to remember all the good times. If I didn't have my son I don't know where I'd be right now.

Sorry for my typos !! New phone and it's not used to my fingers yet 🤣

No, he was awkward as he knew it had upset me but I don't think he wanted confrontation with her. My brother was very angry as he's always been protective and made a thing of sharing. I just text him the 'remember the time when... message. I've had loads, of unkind bullying comments about being fat/ugly etc but this one came to mind after reading op. I think a previous poster is right, it's the shame and humiliation in all these things that make them stick.

At school, we were talking about the characters of Winnie the Pooh, one girl was saying how she didn’t like piglet as he was small and ugly. She then looked at me and said ‘you remind me of piglet’. We were in high school, and this was 20+ years ago. Still hurts

Sorry about what happened to you OP. To be honest I've got so many. I've basically been bullied my whole life, at school and at work, because I am ugly. Strangers in the street shout things at me and work colleagues make snide remarks and laugh at me. When I finally met my first boyfriend in my late 30s, a colleague of mine refused to believe it, laughed in my face and called me sad for making him up. There's much more I could write :(

At school when I was about 9. I had the knee high white 'holey pattern socks' and I'd caught one and it ripped into a proper hole and was dirty. That was on way to school and at the play break I was ridiculed called a tramp for having a massive tear in the sock and for being dirty saying they hadn't been washed.
I can visualise exactly where in the play ground they were horrid too.

It's weird as nothing ever bothers me. But that always sticks and I don't know why.

When I started going out with my first boyfriend in high school, one of his female friends said to him 'Your girlfriend has legs like an elephant!' and the twat repeated it to me. I couldve done fine without knowing that!

I do have chunky thighs (all my family do!) admittedly and I still think about his often when I look in the mirror.

Soooo many things have stayed with me. My mum remarking about me that 'some kids are just hard to love', my parents making up nasty personal nicknames for me when I hit puberty, my dad's unkind comments about my running style (so I stopped), my mum telling me my friends didn't like me, they were just fascinated by my huge boobs, that I was a bike, fat, boring, lazy... screaming abuse at me day after day, hitting me... Ex bf once told me my bush looked like Brian Blessed with his tongue stuck out. At school I had bullies tease me because I had a boys haircut (mum had no patience for brushing it so got it all cut off) and because I was fat (I wasn't. I am now). My paternal grandparents disliked me because I looked like my mum, who they hated. My mum's parents were both cruel people who said lots of cutting things to me as a child, so there was no love or support from grandparents. I once ran to my mum as an adult hoping to escape DV. She made me sit out in the cold for hours then called my violent partner to come and get me.

@Eeeemac

I wonder...do you ever remember the times you have done something that could have been construed as unkind?

It often feels that the people who post like this really believe they have never done anything wrong in their lives that could have hurt others.

None of us are perfect, not your Gran, not you, not me, not any poster here. It is odd how clearly we remember the unkindness of others and how easily we forget the times we too have been unkind.

I do see your point a bit. Not from some of the hideously abusive things some posters are saying, but some of the smaller ones. I know that something my grandmother said to me, unthinkingly, will stick in my my mind forever, but also that she did so much more that was kind or even just ok, even if she wasn't close to us the way that my other grandparents were.

Like this pp said, I'm also sure that one day my dcs will come to me with something that I've said or done, quite possibly with best intentions, that hurt them, because every parent has done something harmful to their child. But that doesn't mean I'm a terrible mum and I very much hope that won't define them, nor a thoughtless point from an ex-teacher or similar.

Oh @ImHavingABadBadDay 😢

I remember once my otherwise very well balanced kind dad shouted at me " Where have you been you little bleeder". I was shocked and didn't know what say.
I don't think he would even temember it now. I was only six.

@Eeeemac not one post mentioning being perfect. Only you asserting your self as judge and jury on those sharing things that have hurt them profoundly.

When I told my parents I was pregnant aged 27 in a long term relationship and my mother asked me how many weeks I was. When I told her I was nine weeks she said 'Well of course it is early days.' Will never forget it. The unsaid line was of course, 'You could still miscarry.'

@EvieBoo2

Sorry about what happened to you OP. To be honest I've got so many. I've basically been bullied my whole life, at school and at work, because I am ugly. Strangers in the street shout things at me and work colleagues make snide remarks and laugh at me. When I finally met my first boyfriend in my late 30s, a colleague of mine refused to believe it, laughed in my face and called me sad for making him up. There's much more I could write :(

I bet you're lovely. The worlds full of ass holes. I'm sorry.

This thread is heartbreaking. Reading every one is a punch in the stomach

I was bullied by so many other kids growing up. Taunts about the fact I wore glasses, taunts about my skin, taunts about being a “keener”, I could go one.

I could easily name a dozen of those kids right now, their names still stick in my mind.

The incident that still upsets me the most was in a Home Economics class when I was about 15. We had been making celebration cakes and I had made a pretty damn good chocolate sponge covered in chocolate icing. At the end of the class we had to put our cakes into the tins we had brought to take them home in and leave them on a trolley to collect at the end of the day. I saw one of my bully’s - Marc - walk over to the trolley after I had put my tin on it. When I came to collect it at the end of the day I opened the lid to find “someone” had poured washing up liquid all over the cake. The teacher just shrugged her shoulders and said there was no proof of who did it, she didn’t even report the incident to anyone. Walking home in tears after school I saw Marc and his mates who jeered “Hope the cake tastes good!” at me.

25 years later and I can still remember the moment vividly. Bastards the lot of them.

It's quite scary to start thinking about this and having numerous examples. I always remember being slapped with a metre stick in primary school by a teacher who'd always disliked me.

One that sticks in my mind was from my misogynistic, vile ex-boss who hated me. He tried to get me sacked while I was in the middle of a nasty divorce (which he knew about), for no real reason other than I was 'distracted' at work.

He sat me down one day to go through my shortcomings as part of a review he had put me on, listed what he felt was wrong with my personality and then looked at me and said 'and I've seen your child, she's a weak little thing too'.

I was fighting tooth and nail to give my DC a better life and worried about the effects of the divorce on her all the time. Although I could take his problems with me, this was the bit that broke me. I burst into tears in the office.