Something unkind which has stayed for you forever 😟

[Heartbrokenstill]

My grandmother who I never saw from year to year.. I was about 7 when my mam and dad took me to hers at Christmas (I never ever got a Xmas gift or card/birthday card/gift from her) I was a shy quiet child and she had a real Christmas tree in her sitting room and I put my hand underneath a beautiful tree toy just to look.. not taking it off the tree or anything and she smacked my hand away.. mam and dad was drinking tea and never saw she died years ago but I still feel the sadness of the little 7 year old I was all them years ago .. Don't know what I want from this post but lockdown really makes you feel low... I am nearly 60 no just to give you a idea how long ago it was

@Bibidy I know exactly how you feel. I toi have red hair and was called all the stupid red hair names - ginger nut, durable....etc- I would have done anything for blonde or brown hair. I'm 52 now, and like my hair - and what really makes me laugh out loud is that all of those people who took the piss are either bald or dying their hair to hide the grey. I have got one grey hair and have never dyed it!

I was overweight as a child and was on holiday with my ‘normal’ sized parents and siblings and we took a small ferry over from our holiday chalet to a pub for a meal. As I got the boat a man of about 40 threw himself around implying was so heavy I was going to capsize the boat. I think my mum noticed something but I was so mortified I said he hadn’t done anything.

I still wish that man ill.

Aren't there some nasty, nasty people around??
Like the horrible school mum who mocked my child's disability.
In front of DC.
Vile bitch of an ex-boss who was foul to everyone, all the time. Wouldn't talk to anyone before lunchtime (except her own boss of course)
Relatives who criticised the way I parented just because it was different form their own- (I ignored them, it was hard but I did it my way)
My own Grandma was very shouty and gave my siblings gifts but not me
How sad to get your kicks from being horrible to other people- must be some inadequacies there...... definitely so in the case of my relatives- NC now thank goodness

Sorry to all who have experienced this crappy behaviour
Bloody hurts doesn't it?

*duracell

@Oysterbabe I had something similar happen to be age 13/14. A boy in my class walked up to me and hissed in my ear “you are so fat and ugly” and he just walked away laughing. It really shook me and I’m sad to say it affected me for years. I was actually quite lovely looking and really slim but quite shy. He tried to friend me on Facebook years later and I took great pleasure in blocking him

I got called mulan and pocahontas all through primary school, then as I got to high school paki. Not really bad bullying just the odd comment. And refered to as the pocahontas girl. Im not particularly tanned just olive my mum is half Indian dad is white as a ghost 🤣🙈 ever since I was old enough to pay for my own hair ive dyed it bleach blonde. No more pocahontas or paki references since then.

My mother telling me when I was a small child that my grandmother didn't like me although she loved my brother and sister. And then to rub it in how she found it odd because I looked the most like my grandmother ie dark hair versus my golden haired siblings.

Was it a bauble? Because they used to be made from glass and were very dangerously easy to break. Your GM may have thought she was saving you from a nasty cut.

If not, then sorry that memory still haunts you today.

My mother told me that she was not surprised that I didn't have any friends (after I'd confided in her that I was struggling with friendship groups). So cruel.

My first boyfriend also told me once that if there were ten girls and ten boys in a room more of the girls would fancy him than the boys me. Mind you given the way my mum was, it was not surprising that I put up with his unkindness.

I came from a poor background and at school had very holey tights. One day another girl said, you've got some stockings in your holes! I was humiliated but today think it was really witty.

I'm halfway through and in tears.
I'm so sorry how people have been treated.

Age 9 we were given homework- an essay. I misunderstood and wrote it wrong. My teacher mocked me and read it to the class so they could laugh too.

Same age my parents paid for expensive private tuition with another girl from my class. She always said I was stupid when I didn't know something and one day hit me round the head and I silently cried.
Days later the other girls mum asked if I was ok... I was too scared to tell my own mum and to this day my parents don't know and speak highly of that woman.

When my son was born 13 years ago, my Nan told me his name was a shit name and that he would get bullied at school because it sounds like a girls name. We generally were close but day stays with me because she totally pissed me off on a day when I was supposed to be happy. I told her straight, that it’s non of her business what his name was and if she didn’t like it that was her own problem, that’s what he was being called and no one was gonna change that. I mean she got over it pretty quick and her and my son had a pretty close relationship but that conversation always stays with me.

When I was 12 a teacher told a class, not me, that I was stupid and wasn't going to amount to anything other than working in a shop but I probably wouldn't be any good at that either.

The reason why? I didn't read a book I didn't like. We had to pick one from from library and read it in a week and the book was rubbish so I didn't read it. So I was also lazy because I didn't read a book.

I've been an avid reader for as long as I can remember. I've worn out 1 kindle and on to my second and I have kindle unlimited. When I get a book I like I can't put it down, when I get one I don't like, I don't read it.

@Googlebrained

My mother told me that she was not surprised that I didn't have any friends (after I'd confided in her that I was struggling with friendship groups). So cruel.

My first boyfriend also told me once that if there were ten girls and ten boys in a room more of the girls would fancy him than the boys me. Mind you given the way my mum was, it was not surprising that I put up with his unkindness.

That is a very strange thing for him to say to you Google says more about his lack of self esteem and insecurity than anything to do with you imho.

When I was 17 and having a termination. The anesthesiatist looked at me and said I looked like a very frightened little girl.
I paid for it myself.
As I came around, I felt like I needed the toilet, a poo.
The nurse told me it was 'just a feeling you get' she walked out.
I needed the toilet.
I staggered there, bleeding, a sanitary towel tied around me and I felt like the most worthless piece of shit.
And I needed a poo. Like I said.
I'd paid for a room in my own, I had to share with a weeping Irish girl.
1993.

Age13 after watching Miss World on tv my mum and sister discussing it
my mum says to me 'Oh if only you had been born beautiful'. I just felt so crushed, I know I am not beautiful just your reg plain Jane but I just felt and still do that she didn't have to say that at such an impressionable age when I was trying to get confident with growing up. And to me my kids would always be beautiful no matter what. May be I am over sensitive .

I had a happy childhood and although at school there was some teasing, there was nothing bad enough I'd describe as bullying. For me the nastiness in my life comes from my in-laws. Covid has really opened my eyes how little I miss seeing them and spending time with them, and also how little they add to our lives. Fortunately me and my OH are a tight-knit unit and I don't think he misses seeing them either.

@zukiecat

Another one is that I had this orange coloured toy, my cousin had made him at school, bright orange and looked like Douglas from The Magic Roundabout. I adored him, his name was Orangey, and I took him everywhere, out to play, into hospital with me, just everything I did included my Orangey.

As I grew up he lived on my bed, but I still cuddled him every night.

Same thing, came home from school and he had gone, looked everywhere, asked my mother and she said she had thrown him out as I was "too old" for him.

I was absolutely devastated, cried for days, then got told off for making a fuss.

I'm 54 now and still haven't forgiven her.

Oh gosh this is just so sad. How old were you?

Thanks Mrsmadevans you're right of course. But when you're 16 and self conscious and have no confidence you believe that kind of thing. I'm tall and dark and mum was always saying how pretty all my small, blonde friends were. It eats away at you, so when someone else puts you down, you believe them!

It's very kind of you to say so, so thanks 🤩

I had a grandmother whom I knew didn't like me. She often took pleasure in telling tales about me to my mum.
She had been a very abusive mother to my mum when she was little and I suspect she was jealous of the bond mum and I have always had.
Ever since my DS was born, I've told him I love him every day and I hope he knows he will always be able to trust me and my love for him.
Things like this make you more aware of one's impact on others.

@StrictlyAFemaleFemale Reception class we were divided into 2 teams - the good children and the naughty children. I was on the naughty side and ive no idea why.

At the school my son teachers at they bargain off the more challenging children. Obviously 1 teacher cant have them all so they trade them. ie "if you take X i will give you 3 easy kids". So they end up with a fair amount and dont get overwhelmed. So you were probably one of the nicer bargain chips!

Aged 13 or 14, a group of five or six of us riding the bus around town on a Friday night trying to work out where to hang out that night.

Friend next to me gets a text from a boy who we'd hung out with a few times "yeah, come over. Free house. Don't bring your fat mate".

In a group of girls who were all tiny, blonde and very pretty it was quite obviously me he was talking about. I went home.

Now I look back and realise I had a lucky escape but I remember feeling so humiliated and gutted. Remember when phone screens were tiny so she genuinely hadn't seen the bit about the fat mate until she got to it.

Also my DM, likes to point out I've put on weight, I've now lost nearly 3st and am a size 10 and funnily enough that goes unmentioned. Tells me I look ill without makeup etc. Once an old school friend of hers turned up to do some work on her house, saw my photo and commented that her daughter was pretty (not in a creepy way), she told him she had never really thought of me as being pretty, I know this as she made a point of telling me. I would like to just point out she is overweight and never wears makeup herself so it's not even like she's expecting me to keep up to her standards

Not rtft and I've said enough of my background for regulars to know I've some awful ones of my own so I'll share this.

At junior school in the early 90s. There were two children who we'd now recognise to be from a lower socio economic group. Rural village school beginning to be taken over by gentrified incomers, the 'old' families being of farm labour stock or wealthy enough to not be in the state system.

We were in a corridor doing something and a teacher from another class laid into this boy from said LSE background for having a dirty school jumper, a dirty face and nails and also being fat. I think it was something like, "Look at you, you've yesterday's food all down you..." and so on l. I cried for him that day. He was a nice boy and was never unkind to anyone. There was nothing wrong with him. Yes, his clothes were dirty and too big. Yes, his nails were filthy, but he was a child. It was not his fault. I will never forget the way he put his head down as his face went beet red and how almost everyone around sniggered at him.

How fucking dare that teacher, who was in a position of trust do that. I knew it was wrong and I suddenly felt desperately ashamed of my pristine uniform and my privilege of having more than he did. As an adult I'm ashamed that at 10 I didn't have the courage to take the teacher on and tell her not to single the boy out as I would do today. Why did she not help him?

I've never told anyone this as it sounds silly but it has stayed with me.
Many years ago every time I gave my brother a card he would say how horrible my hand writing was (admittedly it was) it was usually said in a room full of people. He is a lovely brother but even now I use my 'best handwriting' for him.
We are both over 40 with teenage boys and ironically both teachers! Even so I still cringe when I give him a card. Silly I know x