To think a confidential issue should be kept confidential?

[Nicknamegoeshere]

I'm dealing with an extremely emotional/sensitive issue at the moment which is very difficult for myself and my children.

Yesterday I contacted someone who I had been given as a helpful contact for people who find themselves in a similar situation.

I found him to be very blunt, which was OK in itself (although not very helpful when I'm so low), but he discussed the situation to a point and gave me his advice. I thanked him and ended the call.

Or so I thought. For whatever reason the call hadn't disconnected.

I then heard him saying to a woman: "Oh fuck. Do you think I shouldn't have said that?" He asked this question repeatedly. He then went on to discuss the details of the reason I had called.

AIBU to think this is not OK?

If difficult to comment with so little detail 🤷🏼‍♀️

So if my husband (who is WFH as a social worker) took a call and then came into the front room and told me all about that person and their issues... would that be OK?

No. It wouldn't be. People do it. My husband is a GP who, of course, once in a very blue moon talks to me about a patient (if the situation is very complex and he's concerned about the decision he has made for this patient). But this is seldom because it is absolutely a confidentiality breach if he talks to his own wife about a patient. It's not on really. I know that doesn't seem right to us. I mean, we're supportive partners and good listeners, right? Still, it's not on. Imagine the patient's thoughts if they knew their confidentiality was being breached.

If you weren't talking with someone from a professional organisation, did you actually establish with them that the contents of the call would be private and confidential or did you just assume it?

@TheVanguardSix Yes I agree. I have no issue at all with another colleague talking to another for the purposes of advice, especially if one is more experienced than the other. That's good practice.
But I don't think it's professional to be discussing my case (critically) with his wife.

@Nicknamegoeshere

I can't say any more apart from it regarding a highly complex court case.

Of course you could say more, if you actually wanted help. Telling us their profession isn't going to 'out' you 🙄

It's daft to think that a professional won't discuss a case with other people.

@DeepFakeQueen That sits uneasy with me?

@DeepFakeQueen

I’m a professional working from home and I do discuss the detail of cases with my partner but not identifying details.

Exactly. Perfectly normal & completely harmless - in the real world.

But I don't think it's professional to be discussing my case (critically) with his wife.

You don't know it was his wife and, even if it was, maybe she works with him or has the same job and he asked her advice.

It's clearly a WFH issue.

It's pretty clear from your OP that someone in the same household was in the room during the conversation - which I'm guessing was conducted over Zoom.

I'm guessing you're letting off steam here. Which is fine.

However, an email saying that you were still able to hear them at the end of the conversation + what you heard indicates a laissez-faire attitude to confidentiality, so would they give serious consideration to ramping up their home set up, please should do the trick.

I doubt they want to undermine their professionalism - so pointing out that's what they're doing will almost certainly be enough.

Do you know he was talking to his wife?

His language wasn't particularly professional but asking a colleague if he dealt with your call in the right way is acceptable practice.

@KatherineJaneway He definitely wasn't asking for advice. Swearing etc.

It you don't know it was his wife. You've made that assumption.
They could be colleagues or if it was his wife they may work together.

My and DH work in the same sector but for different organisations but after months of working from home he's the closest thing I have to a colleague so we do discuss issues - but without any identifying details. It's important to have someone to discuss things with.

Again, OP, it’s not possible to say unless you can explain why you thought confidentiality was guaranteed.

@thecatfromjapan It was telephone, not Zoom.

@AStudyinPink When my GP calls me later do I need to ask him this before I have my consultation?

YABU

You have no way of knowing whether or not they were discussing it with a professional colleague.

Of course he shouldn’t discuss it with anyone else but absolutely expected that a complex case requires discussion with colleagues.

It could have been a colleague he was discussing it with? My friend is a social worker and has worked in the office all throughout the pandemic

Being abrupt, then ( when he thought) you ended the call, repeating everything and swearing about it is not ok.

Are you going to ask him who he was telling?

@TheVanguardSix It would seem most people discuss cases with their partners. Is this a confidentiality breach?

I mean, were you unidentifiable from what he said?

Not best practice but not exactly a breach of confidentiality if he says "a client needs X and I only know Y, what would you suggest?" (Even if there were more swear words in it!)

Nicknamegoeshere

No. But this person isn’t your GP, is he?

The nature of the conversation strongly leads me to believe it was not a colleague.

@AStudyinPink Is it just GPs that have to maintain confidentiality?

[quote Nicknamegoeshere]@AStudyinPink When my GP calls me later do I need to ask him this before I have my consultation?[/quote]
Your GP will have a policy on confidentiality and information sharing. It's an important and implicit part of working in a medical profession.

Maybe the person you dealt with has one too but unless you tell us the profession it's difficult to give you useful advice.