To ask why we struggle with money so much.

[whatismyusername29]

Hi all, probably not the right place but guess posting here for traffic.

I am SAHP. I have two dc with additional needs. My partner works and brings home around £500 a week after tax plus he usually does overtime so can be more. He gets paid monthly so usually around £2000 take home maybe a little more with overtime. . Up until last year he was paid weekly so we have struggled with this transition and making it stretch.

We also get child benefit, I get £30 a week for my son from his father. DS also gets DLA (low rate mobility and middle rate care) and I receive Carers allowance for DS as his needs are quite significant. Despite Dd having additional needs too we do not claim for her yet.

We own our own home. Our mortgage is just a little less than £400 a month on our home worth around £200,000 We do run two cars which is quite a big expense. Our bills tend to be quite high - gas/electric/water. We do spend quite a lot on food. We have some debt (maybe around 2 grand).

We don’t have many luxuries. Haven’t had a holiday in several years, neither of us drink alcohol so that isn’t an added cost.

But why are we skint? Our mortgage is low, we aren’t in a huge amount of debt, don’t have luxuries. We do have subscriptions for Netflix, prime etc but who doesn’t?! Both have phone contracts but again who doesn’t?!

DS’s school lunches are costing me a fortune normally. Around £45 a month but he won’t eat a packed lunch. Dd is younger and gets free lunches in infants.

A holiday (covid allowing) would be nice but how?!

Aibu to think we really shouldn’t struggle so much?!

We are overdrawn by the end of the month always.

Advice? Best ways to save money? How to cut down on food costs.

I appreciate we are in a better position then some. Are bills are paid and we have food but there just isn’t a lot left. I cannot remember the last time I bought clothes for myself!

We need new carpet but how?! Unless we put it on credit but want to avoid that.

We want to get married but not sure how we could possibly avoid it?!

We do have some savings but only around 2 grand. It’s saved for a rainy day - cars going wrong, stuff going wrong in the house etc.

We’ve just spend £700 getting out heating system fixed!

I know many people will tell me to get a job. I want to but that easy with my two and the unsociable hours dp works!

Nearly three grand a month with a mortgage of £400 isn't 'low income'. The OP should have a lot more money spare than she does.

Even £20 put away would pay for a week away in a caravan, but they can't seem to manage it or work out where all their money is going.

If you say your income is around £3k a month with your partners income and your benefits, DLA, carers allowance etc then there does seem to be a huge amount missing if the outgoings you have mentioned here are the only ones. You haven't mentioned council tax but I assume you do pay that but on adding up mortgage, food, bills, car running costs and assuming £200 for council tax it still comes to less than £1500 a month so there is half your income disappearing on something you are not accounting for. I would suggest a budget and spending diary so you can see where it is all going. If you can stop leaking money somewhere you should be able to afford a holiday in a caravan.

Usually the things that add up that most people ignore are things like takeaways, coffees out (but presumably that should not be the case at the moment), smoking if either of you smoke, alcohol, pets and top up food shops. When you add them all together they often come up to a significant amount.

@whatismyusername29 that makes sense!

I would still look at cutting out the takeaways - even if you dropped to one a month it would save you almost £250 a year. You can get frozen chips and nuggets for less than a £5.

How much is your dog insurance and food, that all builds up.

Then the car goes wrong? We haven’t got any savings to fix it? If we didn’t have savings we’d have been sat with no heating right now! Just cost us £700!

I was assuming you have a credit card(s), so if you have an unexpected expense you pay with that and then switch the debt to an interest free card, and clear it before the end of the interest free period.

The DLA and carers add another £600 on which is actually quite a lot - another £7200 a year.

I think you should be able to get by and don't know why you're not. I don't think you can get a job at the moment with all the lockdowns and the children being home. Try some of the other suggestions for earning bits and pieces here and there. Even if it's just small amounts here and there.

So £2,860 most months, with some moths at £3,060? And your mortgage is under £400pcm?

There is some serious money management needed here OP.

You need to go back through all your bank accounts for the last 3 months. Log every single amount listed in the account and add them all up.

Mortgage
Utilities (inc water and council tax)
Car related payments (inc petrol and insurance)
One off household expenses (repairs etc)
All supermarket expenditure
All subscriptions
All take aways
Anything specifically for the dog
The school dinners
Anything else (mop up every other spend here).

Then come back and tell us how much you've actually spent in all these areas.

I would do as PP have suggested and sit down with your bank statements and write down every single transaction that has gone out in the last three months.

I think you'll be surprised how much things like Prime, Netflix and dog food add up over a month, even though you've appeared to dismiss them as minor costs.

I agree that getting rid of the debt is your best step. Savings pay nothing right now but debt increases rapidly.

Then shop around on all your outgoings. From utilities to phone bills to car and home insurance. Switch to cheaper options on them all.

Give yourselves a food budget and stick to it. Meal plan for the week and don't buy extras.

I live in the southwest and our water bill for a family of 4 is £55 a month - 80 seems high. A takeaway for us is about £40 so a rare extravagance - twice a month seems luxurious. Amazon Prime just for shopping - is that really worth it?

We're living on a similar amount of money and it's not easy. I've been topping up my full time income with matched betting and now some weekend work. Check through your bank statements and you'll be surprised at how much is unpredictable spending. And put a little bit aside regularly with an app like Plum.

I don't think you're being honest with yourself about your outgoings. Based on the incomings and outgoings you've listed here you should have savings of £1,500 per month. If you don't have that then you need to take a good look at what you're really spending your money on.

I don't have Prime, I just go for the free postage on Amazon orders. Ok it takes a bit longer, but if something was really urgent I'd pay for next day postage. Once or twice a year, it's cheaper than Prime.

DH has Prime but he pays for it.

DS has Netflix but he pays for it.

I have got to say that the very first thing I would get rid of would be Netflix but if your DH is spending the money and he likes it, then it would be rather mean. Better to look at other things. It looks like you can transfer your £45 a month for the mobile to £10 or less from giffgaff very soon and that will pay for Netflix and a takeaway and leave ££ over.

Dogs are expensive but I suspect that is non-negotiable

DH is earning the money!

I think 3k a month is a pretty good salary. DH earns over 60k and his income is not far off that.

We are similar our money just tends to disappear. Looking through bank statements is the best idea. It's amazing how quick money goes.

@DietrichandDiMaggio

Then the car goes wrong? We haven’t got any savings to fix it? If we didn’t have savings we’d have been sat with no heating right now! Just cost us £700!

I was assuming you have a credit card(s), so if you have an unexpected expense you pay with that and then switch the debt to an interest free card, and clear it before the end of the interest free period.

The debt isn’t on credit cards as such. Majority of the debt is from PayPal credit which I guess is like a credit card but we don’t actually have a physical credit card we can just use. It’s from online purchases. PayPal credit offer 4 months interest free on purchases over £100 😀

I would recommend you download and really learn how to use You Need A Budget (it's free for 34 days so you can have a full monthly cycle trying it), and also look into the Dave Ramsey money method (called the Baby Steps). Both these have transformed my financial life, and that's not an exaggeration.

@GreenOwl

I don't think you're being honest with yourself about your outgoings. Based on the incomings and outgoings you've listed here you should have savings of £1,500 per month. If you don't have that then you need to take a good look at what you're really spending your money on.

We are overdrawn each month by about £200! 😩

Tbf Christmas was expensive. Then the heating fixed and dp only went to monthly in the summer.

No birthdays or special events for a while which will help 😀

OP, you're asking for ways to spend less money but you're not actually willing to do it. If Amazon prime and takeaways are an essential to you then you will not be able to save money. £100 a week on food shopping for 4 people when you have takeaways on too of that plus you pay £45 for DS school meals is a little too high IMO.

You're supporting 4 people on £2k a month confused - well done 👍🏻 (that's less than average household income)
It isn't only 2k per month though.
The OP also receives:
Child Benefit - £35.00 p.w.
Child maintenance for son - £30 p.w.
Carers' Allowance - £67.25 p.w.

That equates to another £396.83 per month.

Then she has DLA for her son:
DLA (Mobility) - £23.60 p.w.
DLA (Care) - £59.70 p.w.

OP, the best thing to do is to put together a Statement of affairs, listing your income and expenditure. Then look to see if there are costs that can be eliminated or reduced. Always use comparison websites for gas & electricity, Home insurance, car insurance and revisit every year.

As others have said, use your 'savings' to pay off your debt. You do not have savings. The interest on debt is greater than you will receive on savings so you are just kidding yourself that you have rainy day money.

Do you really need two cars?
Do you really need Prime and Netflix? What is the etc?
Could you have cheaper phone contracts when they are up for renewal?

Advice on cutting down food can only really be given if MNers know what you buy (Btw, I don't think £45 per month is excessive for your DS' lunches).

I earn just over 2k per month with mortgage of £800 but only adult DS and I and he contributes
I would try writing down every single penny you spend for a month maybe even 2 and then try and look at objectively n see where savings can be made
Mine is takeaways and coffee!
Look at all your outgoings to see if they can be reduced - I found I was better off buying a phone outright on PayPal credit and going sim only etc

Tot up how much you are spending on Amazon purchases and you’ll probably find where a chunk of it is going

@MixMatch

Why won't your child eat a packed lunch?? if they're hungry they will eat it but you have stop pandering to his whims - you're the responsible adult. Netflix and prime are luxuries.

Also look into getting cheaper mobile phone deals if possible. They'll definitely be areas you can save put you have to focus on living within your means.

Getting married is relatively cheap and should be your priority considering the precarious situation you are in right now as a legally single person. Just go to the church/registry/other religious. If you're already thinking of spending more than this, it means you've been used to spending more than you can afford.

RTFT. Her child is autistic and has sensory issues.

@givemepastaplease who says I’m not? I’m taking it all on board. I never said they are essential?

DLa pays for school lunches. DS eats stuff he doesn’t at home at school so I’m not giving that up for now. Everything else I’ll take on board.

So your actual income is about 1k per month more than you originally said. I honestly don't understand how you are struggling on that with such a low housing cost!!!
PayPal may offer interest free credit, but you don't have to take it!