To ask why we struggle with money so much.

[whatismyusername29]

Hi all, probably not the right place but guess posting here for traffic.

I am SAHP. I have two dc with additional needs. My partner works and brings home around £500 a week after tax plus he usually does overtime so can be more. He gets paid monthly so usually around £2000 take home maybe a little more with overtime. . Up until last year he was paid weekly so we have struggled with this transition and making it stretch.

We also get child benefit, I get £30 a week for my son from his father. DS also gets DLA (low rate mobility and middle rate care) and I receive Carers allowance for DS as his needs are quite significant. Despite Dd having additional needs too we do not claim for her yet.

We own our own home. Our mortgage is just a little less than £400 a month on our home worth around £200,000 We do run two cars which is quite a big expense. Our bills tend to be quite high - gas/electric/water. We do spend quite a lot on food. We have some debt (maybe around 2 grand).

We don’t have many luxuries. Haven’t had a holiday in several years, neither of us drink alcohol so that isn’t an added cost.

But why are we skint? Our mortgage is low, we aren’t in a huge amount of debt, don’t have luxuries. We do have subscriptions for Netflix, prime etc but who doesn’t?! Both have phone contracts but again who doesn’t?!

DS’s school lunches are costing me a fortune normally. Around £45 a month but he won’t eat a packed lunch. Dd is younger and gets free lunches in infants.

A holiday (covid allowing) would be nice but how?!

Aibu to think we really shouldn’t struggle so much?!

We are overdrawn by the end of the month always.

Advice? Best ways to save money? How to cut down on food costs.

I appreciate we are in a better position then some. Are bills are paid and we have food but there just isn’t a lot left. I cannot remember the last time I bought clothes for myself!

We need new carpet but how?! Unless we put it on credit but want to avoid that.

We want to get married but not sure how we could possibly avoid it?!

We do have some savings but only around 2 grand. It’s saved for a rainy day - cars going wrong, stuff going wrong in the house etc.

We’ve just spend £700 getting out heating system fixed!

I know many people will tell me to get a job. I want to but that easy with my two and the unsociable hours dp works!

If you don't know why you are skint you need to keep a record of every penny you spend. Do that for a month or two and you will see clearly what's going on. Then you can do a realistic budget and stick to it.

Givemepastaplease

Kids can go in the car with her?

The biggest luxury expense is the second car. There's probably a lot of small savings to be made, but if DH could get the bus to work you'd all be quids in! We've always shared one car, BUT our children don't have the additional needs yours do, and a car can be a lifeline for some families where children have additional needs. You might decide that the cars are worth being skint for.

Sorry I missed a whole page about the car.

Are your cars on finance? You can't afford two cars.

2000 a month net of tax is quite a low income for a family of four. If your DH car was brand new when he got it and on finance it is likely hundreds every month.

Can you see if your DH is frittering any of the money absent mindedly?

Depend on your DS needs and the possibility of what wraparound childcare you can access, you probably need to get a job if you want more money. With both children at school what do you do from 9-3? I would imagine a school wraparound care club would be roasted alive for discrimination if they tried to turn away children with disabilities.

Thanks all. We do change energy supplier yearly and also shop around for car insurance. Dp is pretty savvy when it comes to that. Still don’t have any money though. Cars are owned outright. Dp bought his car brand new when he was single 🤣 no finance on my car either. We haven’t always been like this. We never used to overdrawn but I feel we are still getting used to the monthly pay as he dp used to get paid weekly.

We’ve also had some massive expenditures. Heating went wrong, other things around the house too in the last year. Desperate for new carpets etc. Every time we think we have a little spare something comes up!

I’m grateful our mortgage is cheap. Our neighbour is paying double in rent for the same size house next door. Private rent would cripple us!

Considering the income you have OP I think the two of you do really well. You obviously are not profligate spenders. For all the people saying Netflix OR Prime not both, I get it, but £8 a month isn't loads and it's these little pleasures that help the days go by especially in lockdown. You know already where you can make savings - paying off the sofa, your phone contract etc.

I think if you can increase your income rather than cut spending that might make it a bit easier. To make a significant difference to your finances without more income coming in you'd need to do some fairly radical changes I think and unless everyone is fully on board it can be hard.

Life is expensive unfortunately and a fairly unremarkable set of expenditures soon ploughs through your money.

2k take home isn’t a crazy amount of money for one income to support a family. It’s easy to be skint if your outgoings are high compared to your income but your income just isn’t that high so even bare minimum expenses are going to eat most of it.
You might have to sacrifice one of the car or get a flexible evening or weekend job to top up the income.

@HavelockVetinari

You should definitely be claiming UC, that's what it's there for - to support families like yours.

I was just thinking that. Have you checked to see if you’re entitled to any help?

He’s never had finance on his car. He bought it outright when he was single and still lived at home. We did borrow some for my car (loan not finance) but most of it come from trade in from my own car and some savings. We used to have more savings!

@whatismyusername29 I'm not sure whether you do online shopping or you visit the actual supermarket but since we've done our shop online, we've noticed a massive difference cost wise.

In the shop, we'd have a list and be determined to stick to it but we'd always get distracted by offers etc which soon hiked the cost up. We were also guilty of 'Ooh, I fancy some of that!' so extra stuff was always getting added into the trolley that we didn't need.

Now we shop online, we plan our meals for the week and search specifically for each ingredient needed. You can see how much you're spending too which puts me off adding extra, uneccessary items into the basket too.

Also, we used to go to the supermarket for our food shopping and then Home Bargains/B&M etc for all household things. This also added to the cost as we'd spot a bargain on something we didn't need . We now buy EVERYTHING from the supermarket online (food, toiletries, household things).

Write everything down, sounds like you spend a lot on food and utilities. It’s difficult to cut back when you are at home all the time though. Does your other half work from home at all? Have you claimed the government working from home tax relief.. Could you get rid of one of the cars?
I think your probably doing really well on just one salary.

An evening or weekend job is a great idea. generally speaking now is a good time to explore home working options too as lots of jobs have switched to remote working including things like call centres

@fairynick

Why are people saying to cancel Netflix, it’s about £8 a month it isn’t going to make a difference 😂 You are on a low income, and you have a few children, which is why you’re always skint. I think you’re doing really well on the income you receive and it seems like your family don’t do without so well done, OP. If you do want a bit of spare cash to pay off debts, save for a holiday etc, I would recommend switching utility providers, go onto a sim only deal when your phone contract is up etc and save the difference. It’s surprising when you look at your bank statement and see where the money goes. I spent £150 in takeaways in November😓

Because all those little £8 subscriptions soon add up.

£8 for Netflix, £8 for Prime, maybe add Spotify or NowTV on to that as well, plus TV license, plus your internet bill, plus SKY - and you're easily spending £100+ each month on entertainment. That's a fair whack of income when you only take home 2k and have a £400 mortgage.

It's a good suggestion. You don't need Netflix - watch YouTube or catch-up TV for free instead.

Also is your water bill a standing charge or a meter? Metered water is usually cheaper and you can save a lot.

I bet it’s food.

Food is so expensive these days!

My DH earns a similar amount to yours & we also have my income. I honestly think we’d struggle on just his wage.

I actually think you’re doing pretty well!

@Love51

The biggest luxury expense is the second car. There's probably a lot of small savings to be made, but if DH could get the bus to work you'd all be quids in! We've always shared one car, BUT our children don't have the additional needs yours do, and a car can be a lifeline for some families where children have additional needs. You might decide that the cars are worth being skint for.

Second car is definitely needed unfortunately. Dp works unsociable hours and there’s about 3 or 4 buses here each day but none go in the direction or anywhere near his work. Very rural here!

Thing is, £45 for one of the phones (I know you will drop it) and 2 takeaways a month is £100 gone.

Others will have a better idea of what you can do to cut back, but can I recommend you fill in a budget planner? The link below takes you to a page about budgets on MSE website and a spreadsheet you can download at the bottom. It's the best example I have found because it lists the catagories for you so you can't forget any and gives you an instant answer about whether you are over and above.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/budget-planning/

It's so helpful to see all you income and outgoings on one page. And you don't seem to have a good grasp of the overall picture: you list individual payments in a mixture of weekly and monthly, so I think a budget will also help you transition to dealing with being paid monthly.

MSE also has a free online course on managing your money which might also be helpful

@CoffeeRunner

I bet it’s food.

Food is so expensive these days!

My DH earns a similar amount to yours & we also have my income. I honestly think we’d struggle on just his wage.

I actually think you’re doing pretty well!

Yes! Food costs grate me!! It’s one of our biggest outgoings atm especially with lockdown! Spending more and more! I don’t even go shopping atm so I can’t pick up stuff I don’t need. Getting it delivered and still spending loads!

definately universal credit, especially if you have a kid who gets DLA

How much is your total monthly income? With all the DLA, child benefit, carers added? Around £2800? Then take away mortgage and bills.
I’ve saved loads on my food shop by meal planning and online shopping.

Completely off topic - your mortgage is cheaper than my rent - how did you manage to get a mortgage/deposit on your income? I always thought you had to be earning a considerably lot more than you are doing.
I’m thinking about looking into it more now.

What is your total income over the year - including all child benefit/disability/his wages? Is there anything else you can claim which you aren't? Is there someone you can speak to about benefits advice (Citizen Advice eg)?

Once you know you are claiming everything you are entitled to, then look at what you are paying out.
Separate them into:-
Direct Debits (e.g. mortgage and utilities - everything that you can make sure comes out monthly automatically)
Variable Essentials (non direct debit but must buy, e.g. food, fuel)
Variable extras (everything else coming out of your bank which doesn't fit into the above categories)

Work through them and check each thing - do we need it? Can we make it cheaper? Can we use less / step down a brand etc.

Can you please state the total monthly household income including all the other things in addition to your husband’s wage? A lot of people are replying as though £2k is your total household income but from what you’ve said, it isn’t ?

Anyway, go back through your last six months of bank statements and see what you’ve both been spending on. It’s the only way to figure out where to make savings.