AIBU in thinking I can afford to move to Dubai?

[Partygirl2021]

I’m a single mum of a 15 month old, divorce should be finalised in a couple of months. It was always my dream to move abroad and Dubai is my first choice. My ex always refused to relocate. I earn £46k in London in a resourcing job. AIB unrealistic in thinking I could afford to live there? I know accommodation and school fees are high but I would love anyone’s experience.

it’s very strange that on threads about Dubai 90% of the people saying how terrible it is, have never even stepped foot in the place!

Substitute any country in the world (except the UK) for Dubai and the same applies!

I second asking on British mums Dubai. That way you’ll get more relevant opinions - especially on the current costs of living.

@Proudboomer

Ballondog says on £45k you can afford to live as long as your expectations are not to high. But you will also be able to afford a live in maid!! Makes you think what is the maids life like if life is hard with £45k her life must be pretty shit on what you will pay her.

On £46k in Dubai a maid would be a stretch and only achievable if you were to pay the bare minimum to the maid. You'd also be below the salary needed to sponsor one yourself so you'd have to go through an agency (although this is pretty common). No way would I want to be a single mum in Dubai on AED20k a month all in.

Dubai can be great for single mums. But it depends on the salary you will get.

@Ireolu

We have relatives in Dubai on my DHs side and pre covid went once a year on holiday. It has an oppressive feel to it even in the airport. There is overt racism and sexism. My in laws have their rent covered by work but because they are not emirati have only in recent years managed to purchase property there (couldn't before). It's a weird place and I completely agree that it is all smoke and mirrors. Artificial and fake. DH despite knowing he could earn 4 times more there than here in the UK will never consider moving there.

Are you sure they're in Dubai not another emirate? Expats have been able to purchase property in Dubai for a very long time. Certainly more that 10 years as the price crash was an issue in the last financial crisis.

@Chilver

Women's Rights, Human Rights?

This x a lot.

@Daisypaisy2
What would make you want to move some where when you haven’t visited before? Based on what? In the nicest way.

Lots of people do. It was how I ended up moving to New York and loving it. On a whim. It's called a sense of adventure, and people can still have one when they have kids.

@Fufumuji
*It's ok, OP can make the maid look after the child full time, cook, clean and shop, and she can have her sleep on the kitchen floor, saving the cost of not only another room but also a bed. She doesn't have to give her more than a day off a month and she can have her arrested and imprisoned if she tries to leave without permission.

Jolly good fun, what ho*

And who made the computer you're using now then? What circumstances do you think they live in? Or is it best not to think about all the people working for a pittance to give you comfort?

Hi OP.

I have lived in Dubai for ten years. I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old, both born here. We have no plans to leave any time soon.

Yes, the cost of living can be high. It is very easy to get sucked into the 'lifestyle' here - drive a flashy car, eat out multiple times a week etc. But it doesn't have to be like that. We live in a very nice 4 bedroom villa in a very nice family friendly area, and our rent is way less than we would pay for the equivalent back in the UK (Surrey)

The biggest costs to consider are:

• Education is very expensive and whereas before, most employers covered these costs, this is become less common. They start school at 3 here and you can expect to pay around 40-50k dirhams a year, increasingly dramatically as they get older.

• If you are working (and part time work doesn't really exist here so you could be doing long hours, 5 days a week) you will need childcare. Nurseries are expensive (not dissimilar to school fees) or you wish to have a live in nanny. You'll be responsible for sponsoring her visa, providing her health insurance and paying for a flight home at least once every 2 years.

• The initial set up costs here are high. Rent is rarely paid monthly - we pay ours as 2 annual installments so that's a big chunk up front. Connecting utilities is expensive, and it can be tricky to get around without a car, especially with a young child.

It is very hard being away from 'home' (thanks to Covid, we haven't seen family for over a year) and there are things that are frustrating - there is a lot of bureaucracy for example. However, we have great healthcare, my kids go to great schools, we have wonderful friends and have had some incredible experiences.

I recommend researching with the international women's group in Dubai and see what they can offer you, experience wise about costs, lifestyle for single mums etc.

You don't mention your support network/family but don't discount how important that is for you/your child post break up/divorce.

@CrotchBurn that’s not what I would call a sense of adventure I say that as a traveller. A single mum myself who has travelled with DS from a baby all over. It sounds like a bloody fair tale.

NY and Dubai doesn’t compare at all.
There’s no where like Dubai.

Mention it to your ex before making any plans. In the course of work I have seen a lot of fathers who were previously apparently disinterested in their kid spring into legal action and could potentially prevent you moving. ..

Have you been to Dubai? Only place I've visited and would never want to return to. Certainly doesn't have values I want my child to learn. It's fake (literally), shallow, superficial, lacks culture and it feels like you have slaves! If that's your kind of thing and the kid's dad doesn't stop you, then go ahead. Although, if you do like the glossy nature of Dubai I'm not sure you'll be able to make the most of it with that salary. It's certainly liveable but you won't get the Dubai lifestyle on it. Also, you'll need to earn a LOT more by the time your child is a teenager as schools are more expensive as they get older.

Most companies won’t pay nursery fees, so you’d need a full time maid or one hell of a pay rise

It’s fucking expensive. I’ve been here 14 years now.

I know plenty of single mums, but with older kids. The biggest issue for them is the lack of support network - you don’t have lifelong friends or family to count on if something goes wrong. That’s hard enough without children, but having to do that with a child in tow would be a nightmare.

From what I’m seeing, the days of the ‘expat package’ are over. My STBXH never had accommodation, school fees etc in his package. I do, so it’s fine. Most friends of mine are on an ‘all-in’ basis now, so don’t get your hopes up of it being a fabulous package either

Why Dubai.
Most people with children are saying we...you will struggle without a support system .your child is so young.
I have family living there and not the fast luxury life that you hear about.
Good luck whatever you do please come back and share

I would behave thought you need quite a big financial buffer to support you between quiting job in UK, moving to Dubai, getting flat, getting job.

I saw something about how Dubai expats are coming back to the UK as they lost their jobs due to Covid, and there was no safety net.

Also a lot of Dubai's industries are tourist oriented, not a great time for that at the moment.

[quote CrotchBurn]@Fufumuji
*It's ok, OP can make the maid look after the child full time, cook, clean and shop, and she can have her sleep on the kitchen floor, saving the cost of not only another room but also a bed. She doesn't have to give her more than a day off a month and she can have her arrested and imprisoned if she tries to leave without permission.

Jolly good fun, what ho*

And who made the computer you're using now then? What circumstances do you think they live in? Or is it best not to think about all the people working for a pittance to give you comfort?[/quote]
By that logic, because my phone might possibly have been made using unethical employment practices, I may as well go the whole hog and keep a slave?! What the fuck?

People should try to buy ethically, yes, bit two wrongs very much do not make a right.

I don't think you could afford to stay there if I'm honest

It's a rich mans country , Abu Dhabi would be a better option as it's cheaper but a half decent rental there still comes in at around £30k a year for rent

My nephew recently moved there and I've been on holiday there.

@Partygirl2021

Ex doesn’t show much interest in his child. I would cross that bridge when I came to it. Frankly it’s none of your business I was asking purely about cost of living as a single parent...

You made it people’s business when you asked about Dubai, the father could legally stop you and you need to consider that.

"Frankly mind you own business"

Oh the irony. Come on here asking for advice and then come out with a statement like that.

Shmithecat2
I didn't say no women worked there, I said single mothers. If that has changed in the last few years, ok, but given that KSA is light years behind even Dubai with its dubious record and that being a single mother there would be extremely difficult, I have difficulty believing that single mothers have the doors of the Kingdom thrown open. I am prepared to believe that some single mothers in certain professions might be ok and in highly controlled environments, in the same way that unmarried nurses have been going to Saudi for decades and had the times of their lives never leaving the compound. But doors open, your arse.

And yes, I have heard this defence of Saudi before, first hand, many times, then watched the clamberouring to move to Dubai when the opportunity arose.

You are of course at liberty to believe it is not a shitehole. I will go by the testimony of many friends and colleagues.

And why do you think I read the Guardian? The reference to it back there was not mine, but I did Google to check it. Does that make me, gasp, a liberal

I live in Dubai and am married with a toddler. Not a day goes by I don’t feel lucky that I am living in a place where childcare and household help is more than affordable. I have a helper who does 8-5, which means I’m able to focus on my job, and not try and juggle everything. I feel I am able to give all my energy to my child at the weekend, and can even treat myself and relax. In Dubai it’s all about the package: Negotiate a higher salary with accommodation allowance, school fees (if you can), and most importantly comprehensive (international) medical insurance for you and your child. It is possible to move out as a single mum and sponsor your child, if possible get your company to arrange the visa for you. I would only work for an established, multinational company - you are more likely to benefit from global policies.
Lots of mum groups, and my child has lots of friends and spends all day in the park. Good luck - I have lived all over the world, and seen that a place is what you make of it. Dubai, like any place, could be great for you, but not for the next.

Lots of people offering advice on whether they think Dubai is a good choice - that's not what OP as asking! I'm sure she's already weighed that up!

Op I was living out in the gulf as a single parent. I separated when I was out there.

The thing you really need to check is whether you can sponsor your own child's visa.

I couldn't when I was out in Qatar, and I think it was the same in Dubai at the time.

Apart from it being a shit hole for women's rights, it was one of the main reasons I moved back.

So please check those rules because if you can't sponsor your own child then I would say don't go. There are lots of reasons why I would advise not to live there but this is the main one.

Yes it's nice and sunny. It's effing baking in the summer months and most people (SAHM) come back for the summer months with their kids. I couldn't as I had a job and working out there in the hot months is bloody awful.

A young woman and her daughter, alone in Dubai? No, I wouldn’t to be honest.

Not exactly the best place to be “female”.