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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What i found in teenage sons room

170 replies

Worriedmommaofteenageboy · 23/01/2021 14:56

Ok I was rearranging and tidying my sons room while he is at his fathers. I was changing his bedside cabinet for a smaller one and in doing so I was sorting and tidying his underwear and socks. I saw a sock that was dirty (the sole) so took it out to throw in the pile of washing, as thought he had shoved it in by mistake. This is where it gets weird, I found a thong inside the sock that's not mine and looks like he was wanted into it!! Ds is 14 and the only other woman it could belong to is his dads wife. I'm now petrified that he's going to be a weirdo or that there is something mentally wrong with him, my anxiety is through the roof and I don't know what to do about it, I don't know what I'm looking for by posting this maybe some reassurance or an explanation as to why he would I dunno ,please help me out

OP posts:

CorvusPurpureus · 23/01/2021 16:05

Not uncommon teenage boy behaviour, fine.

But I'd be fairly pissed off if my partner's teenage son thought my knicker drawer was where to go for masturbation material!

Ok, he's entitled to his privacy. What about hers?

Agree it's a bit of a leap to assume he didn't just buy it, though.

SheldonesqueIsAnExVirgin · 23/01/2021 16:05

Biohazard. Encase it in a glass sphere.

If nothing else you will have a conversation piece on your tree next Christmas.

Indecisive12 · 23/01/2021 16:07

@Catdogmum I thought of that but surely he’d have felt the friction of the thing when in use?

TheVanguardSix · 23/01/2021 16:08

At least it's not body parts. John Wayne Gacy took his undies fetish to the next level. OP, you need to take Mike Wazowski's advice.

partyatthepalace · 23/01/2021 16:09

Put it back woman and don’t say anything about it. Masturbating isn’t weird.

He is entitled to privacy. I know you didn’t mean to snoop but leave it there.

peak2021 · 23/01/2021 16:10

As long as that is the only place his semen is going then you should have no concerns. Though I am amazed he had not placed it somewhere else if he knew you would be in his bedroom.

Original poster

Worriedmommaofteenageboy · 23/01/2021 16:13

Without giving too much away, I live rurally very rurally, not near shops or anything. And I don't live in England. If my son wants to go anywhere I have to bring him. He doesn't have friends who live nearby the only kids he sees is at school. The only place he goes is his dads ever second weekend other than that he is with me. He had no money no bankcard and no way or accessing or buying a thing online thrust me. The only person this could belong to is his stepmother. That's why I want to know if I should be worried or not. Masterbation is not the issue here the issue here is the thong and it belonging to his stepmother. Obviously I am in the minority of thinking that.

OP posts:

Maves · 23/01/2021 16:15

Ok not rtft but..has he washed anything at his dads could it have got mixed up? Or just got mixed up in general. People saying it's normal it really isn't that normal he's 14....could be a girls and it's been in there a while? What size is it 😂 size 10 dads mrs 13-14 it's a girls think you should be more worried about that.

Bluntness100 · 23/01/2021 16:18

Of course it’s not friggen normal to be wanking into your step mothers underwear. Wtaf is wrong with people?

smoothchange · 23/01/2021 16:19

If my son wants to go anywhere I have to bring him. He doesn't have friends who live nearby the only kids he sees is at school. The only place he goes is his dads ever second weekend other than that he is with me. He had no money no bankcard and no way or accessing or buying a thing online thrust me.

This is what you should be worried about, not a bloody wank over some underwear. His life sounds utterly miserable, poor kid.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 23/01/2021 16:19

I guess if he wanted women's underwear to use while he did it then he only has access to yours or his stepmothers, so while it's disrespectful for him to do that with his stepmothers stuff - it's probably more about it being generically women's underwear rather than anything about her.

smoothchange · 23/01/2021 16:19

@Bluntness100

Of course it’s not friggen normal to be wanking into your step mothers underwear. Wtaf is wrong with people?

He is 14, he will wank over anything. Female underwear is pretty run of the mill tbh.

farandfew · 23/01/2021 16:20

I don't know if you're talking about lockdown or generally but I'd be more worried that a 14 year old goes nowhere but his dad's, sees no one his own age apart from at school, has no money or bank card and no online freedom. If this was the case before lockdown, then I think you need to phase out the breathing down his neck. If this wasn't the case before lockdown, then the ...item... was probably acquired then.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 23/01/2021 16:21

Bless him, that sounds really sad 😞

SheldonesqueIsAnExVirgin · 23/01/2021 16:22

It really does.

ConquestEmpireHungerPlague · 23/01/2021 16:24

You've explained exhaustively how and why his options are limited. That's your answer to why it's her knickers he's taken. Let it go now. You're being weird.

Cuntitinthebin · 23/01/2021 16:25

Give your teenager some privacy ffs.

evouk · 23/01/2021 16:27

He could have bought it online, he could have taken it from a friend's house before covid, he may have a gf you don't know about, he could have swiped it from a washing line. Lots of places it could have came from

For all you know he might wear it. Males do wear thongs, I used to work with a guy who was v open about it

I would just move on and forget it, I bet if he snooped around in your bedroom there would be things you'd prefer him not to see

LochJessMonster · 23/01/2021 16:28

Oh bless you need to put it back, if he realises you’ve found it he is going to be mortified.

As as for the stepmother fetish? There’s a reason there is a whole genre of porn dedicated to it...

m00Ma · 23/01/2021 16:30

Oh dear, you are having difficulty with your son growing up. Infantilising him helps neither of you. I understand the desire to allow him the magic of childhood for as long as possible- the notion of the 'innocent 14 year old is sweet: it's good that we no longer force children out to work at the onset of puberty. But on it sets, indeed, and school peers & the ever-expanding internet have influence you will never - and should not seek to - know details of.
The best parenting route is to continue equipping your son with the skills to be a confident, intelligent-i.e.critcal thinking-& empathetic human.
And expand your personal parameters of 'normal! There are plenty of harmless preferences that don't lead to sinister pastimes. A thong could so easily have been passed by a classmate...
Communicate, don't snoop. Installing fitted wardrobes would not entail investigating socks. If it is eating away at you relentlessly, ask about it, with an open mind & a light touch. I am a mum, my 23 year old daughter & I talk about everything she wishes. I'm not her 'friend', like those mums who wear the same clothes & go clubbing & compete with the younger generation (where they exhibit their need to be eternally 19 now...maybe Instagram?) Anyway, you've officially entered the adolescent zone. I wish you calm & a clear eye!

AlbusSeverusMalfoy · 23/01/2021 16:30

@Worriedmommaofteenageboy

Look he didnt buy it online, he is a very innocent 14 year old in the regard No its not his size I know his every whereabouts so the only person it cold belong to is his dads wife. I do not want to tell his dad because his wife wouldn't be my sons biggest fan anyway so I'd rather not have to tell him unless I had too

Clearly not that innocent

CandyLeBonBon · 23/01/2021 16:32

Cool story bro

Phoebesgift · 23/01/2021 16:34

So what if it's his step mums? Maybe he fancies her.

MissMarpleDarling · 23/01/2021 16:35

Mines 14 next month OP and I think I noticed something on his underwear which he left in the wash basket. I dont want to think what it was.

Sideorderofchips · 23/01/2021 16:35

This will end up in the daily mail...

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