Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

What i found in teenage sons room

170 replies

Worriedmommaofteenageboy · 23/01/2021 14:56

Ok I was rearranging and tidying my sons room while he is at his fathers. I was changing his bedside cabinet for a smaller one and in doing so I was sorting and tidying his underwear and socks. I saw a sock that was dirty (the sole) so took it out to throw in the pile of washing, as thought he had shoved it in by mistake. This is where it gets weird, I found a thong inside the sock that's not mine and looks like he was wanted into it!! Ds is 14 and the only other woman it could belong to is his dads wife. I'm now petrified that he's going to be a weirdo or that there is something mentally wrong with him, my anxiety is through the roof and I don't know what to do about it, I don't know what I'm looking for by posting this maybe some reassurance or an explanation as to why he would I dunno ,please help me out

OP posts:
Indecisive12 · 23/01/2021 15:31

Any chance he could have bought it on eBay or something? There are other more innocent explanations. God I’m dreading the teenage boy years.

Original poster
Worriedmommaofteenageboy · 23/01/2021 15:31

I meant a strained relationship with his father not my son.

OP posts:
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 23/01/2021 15:32

@Worriedmommaofteenageboy

It could only belong to her as we are in lockdown. The only place he goes is his dads she's the only other female in his life
You don't know how long he's had it Confused. He could have got it ages ago.
FantasticRik1 · 23/01/2021 15:32

If this is real, put it back. Don’t mention it. Don’t jump to conclusions.

Otherwise, what Nunia said.

MaelyssQ · 23/01/2021 15:33

It's normal for 14yo boys to wank, and you shouldn't ever go through his drawers again. It doesn't matter who the thong belongs to. You say there are no other females in his life other than you and his father's girlfriend - how do you know that? The underwear could belong to anyone, he could have nicked it off a washing line or bought it himself.

BlueSuffragette · 23/01/2021 15:34

OP he's a hormonal teen boy. Please don't go in his underwear drawer. He is of an age now where he needs privacy. He may have had opportunity to have secretly acquired the thong when staying there. No way will he be thinking about his step mother. He is normal not weird. You need to teach him how to use the washing machine to wash his own clothes and bed sheets. Smile

smoothchange · 23/01/2021 15:34

@Worriedmommaofteenageboy

I meant a strained relationship with his father not my son.

Jesus, it just gets better. Why on earth would you need to discuss this with his father Confused

Original poster
Worriedmommaofteenageboy · 23/01/2021 15:34

Look he didnt buy it online, he is a very innocent 14 year old in the regard
No its not his size
I know his every whereabouts so the only person it cold belong to is his dads wife. I do not want to tell his dad because his wife wouldn't be my sons biggest fan anyway so I'd rather not have to tell him unless I had too

OP posts:
BigusBumus · 23/01/2021 15:36

I've got 3 teenage boys (from 14 to 18) and i've found LOADS of bras, thongs, lacy knickers etc in their rooms, including when the youngest was 12 😬 Honestly, I think girls give them to boys as a tease.

FantasticRik1 · 23/01/2021 15:37

He’s 14. He’s not weird. Completely normal behaviour.
As his Mum, you need to accept that he is growing up and respect his privacy. Don’t mention this and make him feel like he’s done something wrong.

LaurieFairyCake · 23/01/2021 15:37

Well it would be much worse if it was yours

She's not related to him, her vulva smells of female - your kid is NOT innocent (studies show that a teenager would have seen hundreds of pornographic images by this age)

He pinched it and spaffed.

In 6 years if nothing worse happens you will look back on this and feel relieved.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 23/01/2021 15:37

He's not that innocent! He's 14!!!

You sound quite overly vested... knowing his every move etc. He may well resent that, he certainly will when he finds out you used a new wardrobe as an excuse to snoop!

He could have swiped it off a washing line, found it after a blustery day, bought it, been given it, anything!

As other have said, you need to change your perspective a little and start teaching him all those self sufficient things... and leave him space to grow up!

SheldonesqueIsAnExVirgin · 23/01/2021 15:38

Cheeserton

Yeah, stop snooping through your 'teenage son's' room then. What were you hoping to find there? Bible study notes?

It’d be weird if he was wanking over apostles..

smoothchange · 23/01/2021 15:38

@Worriedmommaofteenageboy

Look he didnt buy it online, he is a very innocent 14 year old in the regard No its not his size I know his every whereabouts so the only person it cold belong to is his dads wife. I do not want to tell his dad because his wife wouldn't be my sons biggest fan anyway so I'd rather not have to tell him unless I had too

You don't have to.

'Teenage boy steals knickers to have a wank' is hardly front page news.

AKissAndASmile · 23/01/2021 15:38

I think posting about your child masturbating on the internet is the only disturbing thing in this sorry saga

InTheDrunkTank · 23/01/2021 15:39

I don't think this is real. OP is too desperate to convince us all it's definitely the step mum's. Even if it was hers it probably just got muddled into his laundry by accident and he is imagining his favourite supermodel/instagram star wearing it.

luxxlisbon · 23/01/2021 15:40

@Worriedmommaofteenageboy

Look he didnt buy it online, he is a very innocent 14 year old in the regard No its not his size I know his every whereabouts so the only person it cold belong to is his dads wife. I do not want to tell his dad because his wife wouldn't be my sons biggest fan anyway so I'd rather not have to tell him unless I had too
You have absolutely no idea about any of this. He was going to school in December, it has only been lockdown for about two weeks. You did not know his every movement before this. Not sure what part of an 'innocent 14 year old' means he couldn't have bought it on the internet?

You seem internet on only believing that this belongs to his father's wife even though there are other reasonable scenarios, which is a bit odd. So the question is now what? Are you going to bring it up to him? To his father? The wife?

If not then stop obsessing over who owns them and just forget about it.
Overall this isn't weird behaviour for a teenage boy but you obsessing over it is.

luxxlisbon · 23/01/2021 15:41

*seem intent on...

So annoying posts can't be edited.

Peacocking · 23/01/2021 15:41

The kid has grabbed what he thinks are sexy knickers and is using them for his...err...private time. It'll be nothing to do with his stepmother - its just about the frilly undies and his own thoughts about whoever has taken his fancy later. The poor kid will be scarred for life if you bring it up and insinuate that he wants to sleep with his stepmother! Put 'em back and never speak of this again 😁. Trust me, this is the first of many teenage boy shocks to come...speaking as someone who had three of them.

cushioncovers · 23/01/2021 15:41

Don't touch sniff or squeeze any random socks found in a teenage boys room is my advice to you op. Smile

Bookriddle · 23/01/2021 15:43

I can guarantee your son watches porn, and you go on any porn website, one of the most popular types of videos is step mum and son

DWPmisery1972 · 23/01/2021 15:45

He shouldn’t be stealing other women’s underwear though... That’s creepy af.

Minky37 · 23/01/2021 15:46

And this is why you don’t go rooting about in teen boys bedrooms 🙄🙄🙄.
After this thread I think I’m just going to leave clean underwear on their beds in future, and my DS’s can put it away themselves.

GladAllOver · 23/01/2021 15:47

You have no reason to believe it was stolen. It could easily have come from a boy or girl at school.
But in any case it's doing him no harm whatever, except extreme embarrassment if he knows you have seen it.

Please save your son from suffering that shame by putting it back and pretending you never saw it.

midnightstar66 · 23/01/2021 15:47

It doesn't have to he hers at all, he could have had it ages, got it from a friend, from a washing line, from Asda. Even if it is her it's pretty likely to be opportunistic and he's not thinking about her in the slightest

Swipe left for the next trending thread