Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 30 31 32 ··· 36 37

Original poster

About friends buying goods during covid?

918 replies

MozzchopsThirty · 22/01/2021 15:40

I've had covid for over a week now, been in with 3 dcs, 2 of whom have also tested positive

A few friends have said 'if you need anything just let me know' and I've asked for a few bits.

My friend bought me £6 worth of stuff and said 'the receipt is in the bag can you put it in my account'
My other friend called over last night and I asked if she could bring some crisps & popcorn and she also said it was about £4 the receipt is in the bag

I'm just wondering AIBU to think that dropping £4-£6 worth of shopping off I wouldn't ask for that back off a friend (and I'm not well off, single parent nhs worker)
If it was a £20 shop upwards that would be different

Maybe I'm wrong, AIBU?

OP posts:

luxxlisbon · 23/01/2021 22:28

@axile234 ‘Thank god i live alone . And none of you penny pinching turds are my friends’

You realise some people just live on a very small income that they have to be incredibly careful to stretch to the end of the month?

It’s funny the people who keep calling this friend tight are actually the tight ones since they expect things for free and don’t insist on someone being reimbursed.

The person who doesn’t insist on paying for their own shopping is the real penny pincher.

Emeraldshamrock · 23/01/2021 22:28

So lets assume this woman is your best friend . If she died next week . Most of you would put the receipt for her flowers in the coffin Craziest comparison ever.

Smallgoon · 23/01/2021 22:29

We get it, the OP is being unreasonable and shouldn't feel aggrieved at friends mentioning they've left the receipt in the bag. But I swear threads like these are just an excuse for some to be absolutely horrible. Is it necessary for 30 pages worth of "you're a a grabby, entitled CF"

Get a grip ffs.

PurpleDaisies · 23/01/2021 22:30

@axile234

So lets assume this woman is your best friend . If she died next week . Most of you would put the receipt for her flowers in the coffin

What a ridiculous comment.

How is that even slightly comparable?

WingBingo · 23/01/2021 22:33

I would not have asked for the money either, and if the role was reversed, I would have offered.

NoWordForFluffy · 23/01/2021 22:33

If you post on AIBU, you're inviting 999 responses. And it's rather hyperbolic to suggest that every response is along those lines.

Smallgoon · 23/01/2021 22:35

For what it's worth, I frequently pay for things for my friends. I gladly pay for meals, coffees etc and wouldn't expect the same back. I earn more than most of my friends, but also have a much higher disposable income because they have young families etc. If they delivered items to my home for me and mentioned the receipt was in the bag, I wouldn't have an issue at all, despite the fact that I wouldn't request money from them.

Circumstances count imo but I'm well aware not all will agree.

nimbuscloud · 23/01/2021 22:40

The Op posted in September that she was just back from Italy and was hoping to go to Dubai in November. She subsequently posted that a trip to the canaries in December was off due to issues with Covid tests. Playing the poor card now must be completely pissing her friends off.

Russellbrandshair · 23/01/2021 22:43

@nimbuscloud

Wow that’s quite a nugget of information.

Makes the OP seem tight as fck not giving her friend the money now doesn’t it? 😳

nimbuscloud · 23/01/2021 22:44

There also seems to have been a trip to Athens in September as well.
I’d love to work for the NHS.

Emeraldshamrock · 23/01/2021 22:44

Cheeky sod. I haven't been away in years mental note "I must ask friends to buy my food while I save for a holiday"

threatmatrix · 23/01/2021 22:47

That made no sense whatsoever

nimbuscloud · 23/01/2021 22:47

£10 every couple of days would add up. That’s about £180 per month. You’d have a weekend in Athens for that after 2 months.

Celestine70 · 23/01/2021 22:51

How long did it take for them to ask you for the money?

KatherineE · 23/01/2021 23:03

Hi there, admittedly I haven't read the whole thread, just your replies to the comments, which suggest there was a bit of a pile on (this is never nice and I hope you are ok)...
If one of my friends had covid and needed some bits from the shop, that totalled the sums you were describing, then I definitely wouldn't want the money back, I'd probably actually refuse... I say this knowing full well that we are all in different financial positions (I have been in many) but I trust that you would not have approached a friend who was really struggling and for whom this request may have interfered with her cash flow....
So, of course we all want to help each other out in tricky times and would feel good about doing a good deed for a friend, I'm sure your friends were happy to oblige...
However, I do think that your message implied an expectation of generosity, which is quite different... and in all honesty a little impolite... perhaps this is why you have received some negative comments?
That you would, in a heartbeat, think nothing of dropping off food parcels for friends without expectation of renumeration is lovely- you are a kind and generous soul... but be cautious of projecting these expectations on to others...
Perhaps your friends just followed instructions? Perhaps they thought about not asking for the money but didn't want to offend you?
There are many maybes... but ultimately you have good enough friends that can be relied on for snacks in a crisis- in my book that's a win! Focus on that and your recovery from Covid.
Best wishes to you and your children x

Smallgoon · 23/01/2021 23:15

@nimbuscloud

How do you know she wasn't in a relationship then, and most of the cost of this was to be covered by her partner? Why are you so quick to pass judgement?

SleepingStandingUp · 23/01/2021 23:20

@axile234

So lets assume this woman is your best friend . If she died next week . Most of you would put the receipt for her flowers in the coffin

Oh do grow up

Lovely13 · 23/01/2021 23:20

I would have dropped it off for free. If I couldn’t afford, then wouldn’t have done it. It’s the price of one return tube ride and helping a friend. Hope you feel better soon.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/01/2021 23:30

@Lovely13

I would have dropped it off for free. If I couldn’t afford, then wouldn’t have done it. It’s the price of one return tube ride and helping a friend. Hope you feel better soon.

So I'm stuck in with kids and Covid, I call and ask of you'd mind grabbing me some bits on the way past. If you couldn't afford to gift me the items you'd refuse to help at all?

Sorry I can't afford to do that
No worries lovely, I can bank transfer you the cash now and it'll clear immediately
No, I'll only do it if I can gift it you and I can't
But I don't need it gifting, I'm happy to pay bit we've got no milk
Sorry no, I'd rather you went without.

InTheDrunkTank · 23/01/2021 23:33

@Lovely13 If that's the case then you're a really lousy friend. You're so egotistical that rather than ask your friend for a few quid to pay for her own shopping you'd refuse to pick it up for her? That is staggeringly narcisstic.

Russellbrandshair · 24/01/2021 00:04

So I'm stuck in with kids and Covid, I call and ask of you'd mind grabbing me some bits on the way past. If you couldn't afford to gift me the items you'd refuse to help at all

Sorry I can't afford to do that
No worries lovely, I can bank transfer you the cash now and it'll clear immediately

No, I'll only do it if I can gift it you and I can't
But I don't need it gifting, I'm happy to pay bit we've got no milk
Sorry no, I'd rather you went without.

Right? It reminds me of a petulant child stamping its feet! Some of these responses are so ridiculous it’s hard to believe they’re even real!

stevalnamechanger · 24/01/2021 00:08

You CF, you never know what kind of financial situation people are in !

sortmylifeoutplease · 24/01/2021 00:51

OP YANBU and what I've read on some of this thread is nuts!

user1490954378 · 24/01/2021 01:03

For those saying it's only a few quid, and this is how much you are worth as a friend, etc, that's all well and good, but what if the friend is struggling for money? I've recently become a single parent and had my hours of work cut as a result of the pandemic. I'm lucky to still be working at all quite honestly, and financially life is one big bloody uphill struggle right now, there are those much worse off than me and my kids. I will help anyone out who needs help, but I can't afford to be giving away four quid here, six quid there. If you can afford to do that then lucky you, but not everyone is in that position, even though it may be easy for you to assume that they are.

SparklyPyjamas · 24/01/2021 05:33

I would have not asked, you would have asked and many others wouldnt for a one off small purchase but unfortunately OP most people in this world are as stingy AF....as you can see.

Flip

1 2 ··· 30 31 32 ··· 36 37

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.