About friends buying goods during covid?

[MozzchopsThirty]

I've had covid for over a week now, been in with 3 dcs, 2 of whom have also tested positive

A few friends have said 'if you need anything just let me know' and I've asked for a few bits.

My friend bought me £6 worth of stuff and said 'the receipt is in the bag can you put it in my account'
My other friend called over last night and I asked if she could bring some crisps & popcorn and she also said it was about £4 the receipt is in the bag

I'm just wondering AIBU to think that dropping £4-£6 worth of shopping off I wouldn't ask for that back off a friend (and I'm not well off, single parent nhs worker)
If it was a £20 shop upwards that would be different

Maybe I'm wrong, AIBU?

I've just read the first page and I'm shocked. If it was a weekly shop I'd expect you to give me the money for it, but just a few things I wouldn't dream of asking you to pay, though I do think your requests are odd - I'd have no problem bringing you basics like milk, tampons or toilet paper, even a bottle of wine (medicinal!) but popcorn? I'd think you were being a bit odd but still, I wouldn't ask you to pay for it.

Surely everyone knows the unwritten rules about friendship?

If you buy food for a friend that costs under £20, you let it go.

If it's over £20, you ask for it back.

That way, the more friends you have, the more you can ask for, and assume you won't need to pay it back, because, friendship.

Hope I've cleared that up for you all.

Yes I would ask for the money back. I'm presuming your friends have their own kids to feed and clothe, their own bills, rent/mortgage, petrol to buy, etc. Why would you think it's ok to keep their money? They are doing you a favour anyway.

Gosh. So many people who don't get it! 🤦‍♀️

You are a very rude and entitled person and I would never dream of expecting my friends to pay for my shopping.

AT LEAST OFFER TO PAY - so so rude

@gluteustothemaximus

Surely everyone knows the unwritten rules about friendship?

If you buy food for a friend that costs under £20, you let it go.

If it's over £20, you ask for it back.

That way, the more friends you have, the more you can ask for, and assume you won't need to pay it back, because, friendship.

Hope I've cleared that up for you all.

So, your advice is to extend my friend network and skank them all for £19.99 of shopping, meaning I never have to pay to feed my family ever again? Good plan! 🤔😂

@gluteustothemaximus

Surely everyone knows the unwritten rules about friendship?

If you buy food for a friend that costs under £20, you let it go.

If it's over £20, you ask for it back.

That way, the more friends you have, the more you can ask for, and assume you won't need to pay it back, because, friendship.

Hope I've cleared that up for you all.

SO RUDE

Not only would I pay but I’d give a bit extra. I mean it’s there time and petrol. I can’t believe you posted this.

@NoWordForFluffy

Gosh. So many people who don't get it! 🤦‍♀️

This

It’s not the friends asking to be paid that’s the issue here

It’s the fact the OP never offered to pay for stuff she’d asked them to get her

And the fact 2 different people asked for payment makes it pretty clear the OP has form for not coughing up

You need to learn to be a grown up, always pay your way and don't even question whether that's the right thing to do. If someone buys you a gift or wants to treat you to a sugary snack or diamond bracelet they will make it clear to you.

My dad did this for me, a loaf every other day, biscuits, milk, paracetamol every other day, few treats and some fizzy drinks, bacon & eggs for weekend breakfast, every time it was approx £6, so it adds up. I owed £25 by the end of our self isolation (which of course I paid). YABU questioning whether you should pay it!

The price of friendship £4 and £6 on the brighter side at least you know your true value . But if they ever have to isolate and you shop for them it as to be £2 and £4 just for the hell of it. And the receipts in the bag . Ever thought about finding new friends

Just suppose...that the friend who bought you popcorn and crisps couldn't afford to buy them for her own family. Should she make them go without so that you can have a nice night in?

That may not be the case. But you don't know for sure. It could certainly be that the money will be missed, and mean the family go without something.

The fact that they both immediately said the receipt's in the bag must tell you something.

Ever thought about finding new friends

I'm sure this would definitely benefit the friends!

@axile234

The price of friendship £4 and £6 on the brighter side at least you know your true value . But if they ever have to isolate and you shop for them it as to be £2 and £4 just for the hell of it. And the receipts in the bag . Ever thought about finding new friends

I'd be glad to be rid of parasitic "friends" like this! So glad.

Your friends are being very kind shopping for you and I would have asked how much I owed them straight away and not left it to them to ask for their money. You said you've done this a few times and perhaps word is getting around that you seem to be expecting it for nothing. I certainly wouldn't want to let good friends think I was taking advantage of their kindness

I wouldn’t ask but YABU to think that you should get free stuff just because you have COVID and are a NHS worker. I find it rude of you to not of mentioned paying when requesting items.

If someone helps me out I always give them more than what it came up to.

I wouldnt ask for £4 back as the give but Im also not rich and cant be paying for others niceities all the time so probably wouldnt offer in the first place because if you did ask for a full shop I would be stuck.

If it was me as the reciever I would either offer it straight up or return it in kind (so pick up something for the of the same-ish value at some near point in time when I next see them).

That fact that they both did this and you started this thread to ask why you should even pay for it though sounds like theres backstory and your probably a bit of a mooch and they are sick of being kind for no return.

Maybe they're just as skint as you?? Or more so??

Is this a side-effect of COVID? You become rude and greedy? What a great friend you are.

I absolutely wouldn’t accept £4 from a friend for a few bits. A bigger shop yes.

But the other way around I would pay, and I know some of my forced s would absolutely expect it and would take the money.

People have different approaches to money.

I'm with you. I'd be surprised if they were finicky about such small amounts unless they're struggling for money. I'd be mindful of friends that are struggling financially but if I was dropping a fee bits off for a friend I wouldn't expect payment

I offered to buy a close friend of mine some essentials whilst her and her family isolated awaiting COVID test results. She immediately messaged me, after dropping shopping at her door, asking for the cost and my bank details. I ignored the message and didn't take a penny from her. She was stressed enough as it was. Incidentally she asked for milk, bread and breakfast cereal for her daughter, not snacks or treats and the cost was well below a tenner. I'd have been a little put out if she hadn't offered to pay, but as I knew the stress she was suffering already with awaiting the tests and also having a her pub shut down in Tier 3 restrictions I chose not to take up her offer of payment.
She had previously offered to do shopping and pick up bits for me during the first lockdown and I was heavily pregnant and isolating. I didn't take up her offer but one good turn deserves another IMO, and that's what friends do.

It depends really: I’ve got friends who I absolutely wouldn’t even ask because I know that it’d work out in the wash and we’d end up even along the way. I’ve got other friends who I’d ask for cash or their card before going because “oh, I’ll get you a coffee next time we’re out” would NEVER materialise.

Aside from the that, in the OP, you’ve specifically said that you think they both should have subbed you because you’re on a low income and somehow that means they should be kind to you. But then you say that if it was the other way round you wouldn’t ask for the money. So which is it: are you hard up and skint and think you should be let off, or do you think that friends should let each off with this stuff? It can’t be both.

You’ve chucked your toys out because it’s been pointed out that you’ve been cheeky and expected too much, and I’d lay odds that you’re in the camp where the oft-promised “I’ll buy you a coffee next time we’re out” never materialises. Or where you expect other people to sub you ‘because you’re on a low income’, but then also expect other people to pay you back if you get stuff for them, again ‘because you’re on a low income’ so it’s never actually square - and I think your friends have copped on.