About friends buying goods during covid?

[MozzchopsThirty]

I've had covid for over a week now, been in with 3 dcs, 2 of whom have also tested positive

A few friends have said 'if you need anything just let me know' and I've asked for a few bits.

My friend bought me £6 worth of stuff and said 'the receipt is in the bag can you put it in my account'
My other friend called over last night and I asked if she could bring some crisps & popcorn and she also said it was about £4 the receipt is in the bag

I'm just wondering AIBU to think that dropping £4-£6 worth of shopping off I wouldn't ask for that back off a friend (and I'm not well off, single parent nhs worker)
If it was a £20 shop upwards that would be different

Maybe I'm wrong, AIBU?

Yanbu. I’ve got bits and pieces for people isolating or tested positive and just said to pop something in the foodbank box when they are up to it.

@Lucy830

I personally wouldn’t have asked for the money back but I can see why others would, they may be short etc.

I would probably end up giving the person who asked for £4 back a £10 because I would presume they were short and say thanks for going.

It’s nothing to do with someone being short of money! It’s common courtesy that if you ask someone to buy something for you that you offer them the money back! They may not want the money back, but that’s entirely their decision to make not yours!

I am appalled by the attitude of some of the people on here.

It is entitled to expect this. How many times would you feel you could ask them to do you a favour and expect them to fund it?

They are perfectly within their rights to give you the receipt and you should expect to pay back and always offer the money even if they do t ask for it. If they decline, then you can accept....but to do so more than once or twice is being cheeky.

Perhaps they didn’t offer because you have a history with them of being entitled and taking advantage. This seems fairly likely given your post.
It is up to you to fund yourself...not them. They have already done you a favour with the shopping itself. You should be grateful for that, not expecting more.

it's totally up to them if it's a gift or more transactional. you don't know how much £6 is worth to them.

Maybe as it was a small amount of money, they offered their bank details before you could offer the money in cash form for the fear of handling money.
And didn't want to make you feel bad

@essexvicky

More to the point shouldn’t you be telling people to stay away from your house and get online shopping? I wouldn’t be coming nowhere near you with Covid and if I dropped something on the doorstep I’d be really annoyed if you opened the door let alone have a conversation about £4!

How is the op dropping stuff off different from a delivery driver dropping stuff off? At least the op wasn’t likely to be going round loads of other houses

If you asked them to buy you something specifically, then you should give them the money. They shouldn't have to ask you for the money.

If they were calling around to you to spend time with you and brought crisps, then no you wouldn't be expected to pay but as you are isolating, this isn't a social thing. Its an errand.

YABVU. If I thought that you were thinking this way I would certainly never shop for you again you CF.

Wow! YABVU! Are you only getting friends who you think have plenty of money to get stuff for you so you think you don’t have to pay them back?! Crisps and popcorn are hardly essential items so you can’t seem that desperate for supplies if that’s what you asked for, so your friends will think you can easily afford to pay them back. I’ve been taken advantage of over the years - I got a poorly friend £20 worth of requested items during first lockdown - she paid me later but hasn’t spoken to me since!! Maybe her thoughts were like you, thinking I was the bad party for expecting and taking payment!

If I had bought goods for a friend, I wouldn't expect the money back.

If I was receiving the goods, I'd just say "can I pay you back?" I suppose I might find the receipt a bit confronting because I wouldn't expect to be paid back myself, but I'd probably just assume the money was important to them.

I can't believe that you actually asked this question. You're being a lot more than merely unreasonable.

@essexvicky

More to the point shouldn’t you be telling people to stay away from your house and get online shopping? I wouldn’t be coming nowhere near you with Covid and if I dropped something on the doorstep I’d be really annoyed if you opened the door let alone have a conversation about £4!

How do you think online shopping is delivered? Friends taking it round is no different. I'm all for keeping people safe but some common sense is needed here. No one is breaking any rules and if left on doorstep and friends move away before the door is answered, there is no risk.

If my friends asked me to get them something for under a fiver I would write it off as a “ get well “ present.

I think Ops post was badly worded rather than it be about her not wanting to pay. I did think it interesting the friends mentioned payment before the Op could ask them what she owed. Suggests form for non payment.

I think I’m in the minority here, although haven’t rtft. I wouldn’t dream of asking you to pay me back! Surely it’s part of being a friend & if you were in their position you would be happy to help a friend in need?

PS get well soon! 💐

@Chintaria, it's totally irrelevant what you'd do. The question is whether it's reasonable for a person who has bought stuff for you to ask for the money for it. The answer is yes, regardless of what you, the OP, the neighbour's dog or the Pope would've done in the same situation.

Chintaria - if that was your last £4 and your kids could therefore not eat, or you could not turn the electric on, would you still not ask? if your friend regularly asked you to buy small things and it has now added up to more than £100 would you still not ask?

I wouldn't ask either but would absolutely not judge anyone else who did as I don't know their context. In a position like the OP I would never under any circumstances whatsoever get even a teeny bit arsey about people asking me to reimburse them after they got something I asked the to get. That to me is a much more significant issue .

I definitely wouldn’t ask for it but my friend and I always drop stuff off for each other since Covid and we do pay each other. That way we don’t feel bad asking the other to collect stuff.
My childhood best friend got Covid and we arranged a £65 basket of goodies for her, another friend dropped it off. So now I wouldn’t ask for the money; but would take it if people insist

You should have offered payment before they asked you. It should have also been done in a way that was straight forward and didn’t require them to ask you. They are doing you a favour and it may be a repeat thing so of course you should sort it out. I was in a similar situation and a lovely neighbour and friend would help. I just had a wallet with cash ithat I left out with a bag. She would pay using this and pop the receipt in the wallet ( not that I needed that but it probably made her feel comfortable). I was extremely grateful that she helped me and would give her a few treats sometimes to say thank you
You’re attitude is a bit shocking. Your friends are helping you.

Your attitude -aargh

I think you are being cheeky. You could have priced up the goods and sent the money over using PayPal family and friends, you had a massive hint to pay up with the words the receipt is in the bag..

Not everybody can afford to give freebies and the fact they have put themselves out and been your own personal shopper is enough.

OP if you offered I wouldn't accept but I'd be miffed if you hadn't 🤣

If you asked for it then I think u are being unreasonable in expecting them just to give you it for free...
If they brought things over without you asking I would feel obliged to pay them, but I think in that situation if I was the friend, I wouldn’t expect to be paid

Late to the party. YANBU, OP. I'm born and raised British but I guess my roots are showing here because I'm cringing at all the replies. The culture I'm from (and a few other non-British I mix with) in this situation we'd make food and take, not be asking a friend for £4. If we all treated each other generously (assuming we're not on the breadline) the world would be a better place. I'm lucky that my friends (Brits as well as non-Brits) all think like you, OP.

YABVU you are asking for a favour by asking your friend to pick up your snacks and drop them off whilst you are unwell with covid. The least you can do is pay your friend back