About friends buying goods during covid?

[MozzchopsThirty]

I've had covid for over a week now, been in with 3 dcs, 2 of whom have also tested positive

A few friends have said 'if you need anything just let me know' and I've asked for a few bits.

My friend bought me £6 worth of stuff and said 'the receipt is in the bag can you put it in my account'
My other friend called over last night and I asked if she could bring some crisps & popcorn and she also said it was about £4 the receipt is in the bag

I'm just wondering AIBU to think that dropping £4-£6 worth of shopping off I wouldn't ask for that back off a friend (and I'm not well off, single parent nhs worker)
If it was a £20 shop upwards that would be different

Maybe I'm wrong, AIBU?

@MozzchopsThirty

I mentioned single parent & nhs worker so you knew I wasn't laughing all the way to the bank with no concept of money

Not because I think I should 'get free stuff' what an odd thing to say

I'm just wondering AIBU to think that dropping £4-£6 worth of shopping off I wouldn't ask for that back off a friend (and I'm not well off, single parent nhs worker)

I think we all interpreted the above as you expecting not to pay, that's what it sounded like.
I find it strange that someone who hasn't got much money themselves would expect someone else to give them £4-6 pounds of shopping.

I've done a fair bit of shopping for others during lockdown. I'm fairly comfortably off but when you add it all up (which I've quickly done, roughly) it's a couple of hundred quid over the last year . I wouldn't ask for or accept the money if I'd just picked up a loaf of bread or a a bottle of milk. But 4-6 I thinks it's reasonable to expect people to pay you back.

If it was a close friend and came to less than £20 then I wouldn’t ask for the money back, especially when they’re ill and probably don’t feel up to faffing around doing a bank transfer.

If they offered me the £20 when they’re better I’d probably accept it unless I knew they were hard up.

But then I wouldn’t offer to go and buy food and deliver it unless I knew them well and cared about them.

If it was a full shop eg £50 worth of food I’d leave the receipt and expect them to pay me back but not immediately.

Is greed a COVID symptom?
What a cheek

I agree op I wouldn’t ask for this from a friend. Though I have just offered to get shopping for a friend who tested positive and was just wondering whether to charge them on basis they charged us £20 for a used buggy once and I would have always given that kind of thing for free.

I wouldn't ask for it but id always want to pay

Though I have just offered to get shopping for a friend who tested positive and was just wondering whether to charge them

Why wouldn’t they be expecting to pay for their own shopping?

I think the OP has had a hard time. I have tended to Deliveroo my snack requirements in isolation as I would ask a friend to drop milk over in extremis but not popcorn!

I would always expect to pay, and always ask for bank details etc. But also when Ive picked up shopping bits for isolating friends I have refused any reimbursement as they are friends and I am fortunate I can afford to. I think a lot of people are really struggling financially— your friends might be skint rather than tight.

your friends might be skint rather than tight.

It isn't tight to want payment for goods bought. It doesn't matter whether they're skint or not, asking for payment for things you've bought for others is never, ever, wrong.

Why should they pay for things that you’ve asked for, bit cheeky not to expect to pay it back no matter how small the amount is

I mean tbh I probably wouldn’t have expected the money back for under a tenners worth of bits for a friend who is ill. However clearly they do and you did ask for the stuff so it’s not a big deal to just send them the money.

You are being vvvv unreasonable

Afraid most others are struggling right now also. Think popcorn might not be a top priority item, not being an essential item like milk or bread as was mentioned here by someone else. It's a difficult time for us all. Did this person walk to supermarket or drive as petrol as well then.

I.don't think they are being unreasonable.to ask. I wouldn't ask, and others have picked stuff up for me and not.asked and vice versa, but asking to be paid back what you owe isn't unreasonable.

I wonder if you’ve bought things for others but not asked for the money back? Are you too generous and expect the same behaviour reciprocated? Life isn’t like that unfortunately and if you’re a soft touch, will learn the hard way.

Maybe you are upset because you expected a treats from your friends as you might do if you were poorly and they came round with flowers and grapes.
But you did ask for these items so you should expect to pay.
Sincere apologies if these questions are insulting: do you normally expect freebies? Are you a bit tight yourself? Do your friends know this so they asked for their money straightaway?
If your answers to these questions are no, no and no, please accept my apologies.

A lot of people seem to be missing the point here saying they wouldn’t ask for the money back.

You should never need to ask! It should always be offered unprompted by the person you have done the shopping for. If you then choose not to accept that’s entirely your choice.

YABU and that two different friends took the same approach suggests you might have CF tendencies. Sorry OP but it sounds like you are 'that friend'.

I wouldn't have asked for the money ... but I also wouldn't have asked friends to break lockdown to bring me some crisps and popcorn. Not when I could easily add them to an online order.

The issue may be that you've already asked two sets of friends to drop off items. They might think if they don't ask for money, the requests are going to continue and grow. Because if they say 'you don't need to pay'; are they worried that you're going to ask for a bigger shop next time and it then becomes awkward to ask for money?

YABU

I would always offer to pay back even a few quid. It's clear that your friends also have this reasonable expectation of you.

I would have picked things up for you and I would not have asked for money.

Equally, I've had friends do favours for me and refuse reimbursement.

Heck even strangers have been amazingly generous.

I hope you feel better soon.

If funds were tight you shouldn't have asked for the goods. Pay up

I personally wouldn’t have asked for the money back but I can see why others would, they may be short etc.

I would probably end up giving the person who asked for £4 back a £10 because I would presume they were short and say thanks for going.

I popped out to get a couple of essentials for someone else this week, they didnt pay me back and it's meant that I haven't been able to buy milk for me and ds and I've skipped meals. You have no idea what someone elses financial situation is and whilst it is very noble that you wouldn't ask for the money back (and I probably wouldn't if my situation was better), the fact that someone has told you the receipt is in the bag and can you pay me back leads me to suspect that actually they can't afford to lose that money, maybe this month is tight for them, maybe it's a longer term problem but either way you should always expect to pay for something unless someone outright tells you not to worry and even then common courtesy would dictate that you do exactly the same in another circumstance. I hope you feel better soon though, can't imagine anything more miserable being stuck in a house whilst you're sick and trying to look after a child.

Yabu
Just because you have covid doesn't mean you can tell friends who in fact are doing you are favour, pls get xyz and expect them not to ask for payment. That's very cheeky of you. Why should you get free things, your friends are going through the trouble of getting those items and dropping them off to you. You don't know their intimate financial situation either, but that being besides the point.

More to the point shouldn’t you be telling people to stay away from your house and get online shopping? I wouldn’t be coming nowhere near you with Covid and if I dropped something on the doorstep I’d be really annoyed if you opened the door let alone have a conversation about £4!