Page 25 | About friends buying goods during covid?

MozzchopsThirty · 2021-01-22T15:40:34+00:00

I've had covid for over a week now, been in with 3 dcs, 2 of whom have also tested positive A few friends have said 'if you need anything just let me know' and I've asked for a few bits. My friend bought me £6 worth of stuff and said 'the receipt is in the bag can you put it in my account' My other friend called over last night and I asked if she could bring some crisps & popcorn and she also said it was about £4 the receipt is in the bag I'm just wondering AIBU to think that dropping £4-£6 worth of shopping off I wouldn't ask for that back off a friend (and I'm not well off, single parent nhs worker) If it was a £20 shop upwards that would be different Maybe I'm wrong, AIBU?

HandfulofDust · 23/01/2021 14:26

The thing is it's always the same people who do favours and always the same who ask for them. So in your group the people who were willing to go out of their way to the supermarket to buy you random stuff like crisps and popcorn are probably the same people who do favours for their other friends, family and neighbours. By the end of lockdown they've probably done 10-20 trips to the supermarket, used up their petrol and spare and spent over £100 and bits and bobs for other people. More often than not the people they've helped won't think to drop a bottle of wine round to say thank or they'll be too busy to return the favour when the shoes on the other foot. So to you it's just £6, not even worth mentioning but to them it's added up to over £100 and hours of time that's never repaid.

SaltedCarmel · 23/01/2021 14:31

They asked you if you needed shopping, they would get you it. If you didn't have Covid you'd be buying your own things. It would be different if they came around with things for you as a treat while you're ill and they then said "the receipt is in the bag, pop the money in my account" when you didn't ask but they got your exactly what you asked for, YABU.

WhereYouLeftIt · 23/01/2021 14:36

@HandfulofDust

The thing is it's always the same people who do favours and always the same who ask for them. So in your group the people who were willing to go out of their way to the supermarket to buy you random stuff like crisps and popcorn are probably the same people who do favours for their other friends, family and neighbours. By the end of lockdown they've probably done 10-20 trips to the supermarket, used up their petrol and spare and spent over £100 and bits and bobs for other people. More often than not the people they've helped won't think to drop a bottle of wine round to say thank or they'll be too busy to return the favour when the shoes on the other foot. So to you it's just £6, not even worth mentioning but to them it's added up to over £100 and hours of time that's never repaid.

Good point and not one I'd considered, but you're absolutely right.

letsmakethishappen · 23/01/2021 14:36

Definitely a CF

truthisalie · 23/01/2021 14:43

Some of you are so entitled 🙄

Edel2019 · 23/01/2021 15:04

@truthisalie

Some of you are so entitled 🙄

Some of you are so cheap 🙄

Edel2019 · 23/01/2021 15:05

@Ladylimpet Ah look at you using sarcasm, awfully clever!

PurpleDaisies · 23/01/2021 15:08

Some of you are so cheap 🙄

Did you miss the posters saying they couldn’t afford to spend that money on other people’s shopping because things are so tight at the moment?

Edel2019 · 23/01/2021 15:10

@PurpleDaisies

Some of you are so cheap 🙄

Did you miss the posters saying they couldn’t afford to spend that money on other people’s shopping because things are so tight at the moment?

Eh so don't offer to buy stuff then?

PurpleDaisies · 23/01/2021 15:11

Eh so don't offer to buy stuff then?

The friends offered to do the shop, not pay for it.

Edel2019 · 23/01/2021 15:11

@PurpleDaisies

Eh so don't offer to buy stuff then?

The friends offered to do the shop, not pay for it.

Yeah, got that....do you not understand my post?

PurpleDaisies · 23/01/2021 15:13

Yeah, got that....do you not understand my post?

Yes, I don’t understand. Why would a friend not offer to do the favour of getting the shopping because they need reimbursing for it?

kowari · 23/01/2021 15:13

Eh so don't offer to buy stuff then?
Don't offer to PICK UP shopping for a friend if you can't afford to PAY for their shopping as well? They are two different things.

Sirzy · 23/01/2021 15:23

So because someone can’t afford to pay for their friends shopping they shouldn’t offer to buy it for them? Better to leave their friend to go hungry than to just ask them to cover the cost of the items?

InTheDrunkTank · 23/01/2021 15:27

I definitely agree about it always being the same people giving and taking. I had a friend like that at uni. She had rich parents and didn't think much about money. When we went out she'd think nothing of ordering starters and cocktails then expect to split the bill, because it wasn't a big deal and it was cheap to worry about it. She didn't think that for us that amount of money was a big deal and anyway it adds up.

I have another friend like it now. We often meet for a coffee and it's always me who buys. Yes it's only £3-5 a time but I've spent over £100 on her now and it's kind of grating. She'd never think to offer to pay because the individual price is never that high but when it's all the time it adds up and does annoy me a bit to be honest (she's in a very similar financial position to me). I'm sure like the OP she'd think I was really cheap if I asked her for the money for it.

Bluntness100 · 23/01/2021 15:28

Eh so don't offer to buy stuff then?

She didn’t offer to buy her stuff, they offered to do shopping if thr op needed anything, they didn’t offer to buy her whatever she wanted,,

InTheDrunkTank · 23/01/2021 15:30

@Edel2019 You sound horrible. Most normal people would be grateful their friend took the trouble to go buy them some crisps, even if they didn't also offer to pay for them. All OP had to do was make a bank transfer, it would have taken her 2 minutes, much less than the time their friend spent driving to the shops, queing and paying.

Not everyone can afford to pay out £6 every week for whoever happens to be self isolating now but they are generous enough to want to help them.

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 23/01/2021 15:33

@HandfulofDust

The thing is it's always the same people who do favours and always the same who ask for them. So in your group the people who were willing to go out of their way to the supermarket to buy you random stuff like crisps and popcorn are probably the same people who do favours for their other friends, family and neighbours. By the end of lockdown they've probably done 10-20 trips to the supermarket, used up their petrol and spare and spent over £100 and bits and bobs for other people. More often than not the people they've helped won't think to drop a bottle of wine round to say thank or they'll be too busy to return the favour when the shoes on the other foot. So to you it's just £6, not even worth mentioning but to them it's added up to over £100 and hours of time that's never repaid.

Spot on!

I think we can all identify that friend from reading this thread and the utter horror some people are expressing -apparently feeling that their shopping isnt being bought by their friends!

I dont get this "you offered to do the shopping so YOU pay for it" mentality-talk about mean. if your friend offered to give you a lift to the airport at 4am would you not even think to offer them petrol money?

If your friend was a handy man and offered to help you with some building bits would you also expect him to pay for all your materials?

If your friend offered to give you a lift to the cinema would you also expect them to pay for everyone's tickets and refreshments too?

Damn, some rude people here.

Ladylimpet · 23/01/2021 15:56

Precisely. The nice gesture bit is going to the shop in the first place. Then to not offer to pay for your shopping is downright cheeky. I've had covid. I asked my sister to get me bits and bobs and asked for her bank details at the same time. She got the money before she even dropped the stuff off.. you know, cos I'm not a cheeky bugger and she was already doing such a nice thing.

Theshelfisboring · 23/01/2021 16:27

I've eaten all OPs popcorn reading this thread

EuroTrashed · 23/01/2021 16:35

@MozzchopsThirty out of interest, what type of "NHS Worker" are you? given it's the largest employer in the country, it's difficult to use it as shorthand for "low paid" since there are layers of extremely well paid management in large numbers.
I do think it's a phrase that's now used as shorthand for "angels on the frontline" by scores of office workers who are after a free care package.

truthisalie · 23/01/2021 16:36

Some of you are so cheap

But not cheap making someone to pay for you.

truthisalie · 23/01/2021 16:42

I have another friend like it now. We often meet for a coffee and it's always me who buys.

I take turns with my friend. Another friend prefers if we pay for ourselves. Easy.

Why do you keep paying for your friend? You are definitely not CHEAP, but it's time to stop it.

WaltzingTilda · 23/01/2021 16:51

I wouldn't have asked for the money back myself and wouldn't take the money even if offered either, but if someone buys me something I will always pay them back. If they don't take the money I will get them something later on to make it up .

willloman · 23/01/2021 16:52

Pay up. They don't deserve to be out of pocket for doing a good deed. You are an entitled A&%^$.