About friends buying goods during covid?

[MozzchopsThirty]

I've had covid for over a week now, been in with 3 dcs, 2 of whom have also tested positive

A few friends have said 'if you need anything just let me know' and I've asked for a few bits.

My friend bought me £6 worth of stuff and said 'the receipt is in the bag can you put it in my account'
My other friend called over last night and I asked if she could bring some crisps & popcorn and she also said it was about £4 the receipt is in the bag

I'm just wondering AIBU to think that dropping £4-£6 worth of shopping off I wouldn't ask for that back off a friend (and I'm not well off, single parent nhs worker)
If it was a £20 shop upwards that would be different

Maybe I'm wrong, AIBU?

I wouldn't ask a friend for £6
Id be happy to help them and provide a gift when they are in need

I’m with you, OP and nobody where I’m from in Northern Ireland would be likely to ask for that back either. But we’re talking about a place where this kind of thing happens:

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.thesun.co.uk/news/12795684/asda-worker-hero-paid-shopping/amp/

Oh dear, op, cringing for you.

It’s lovely you would buy stuff for people and not ask for the money, but it’s very hard to argue that you didn’t want free stuff and that’s why you started the thread As it reads you wanted your friends to buy you stuff and not ask for the money for it, and are a bit annoyed they did.

I’d also certainly not ask someone to go buy me crisps and pop corn and deliver it to me

It all just comes across a a bit entitled and grabby. Hence why you’re getting g the responses you are.

I agree in theory but the sort of friend who will be offering to drop stuff around is probably doing it for a lot of friends or is willing to get more for you. Therefore it will all add up and really they shouldn't have to pay for you all. Personally I would insist on paying them as would feel uncomfortable calling on them to help if they're using their own money.

@Dasher789

I am astounded at these responses.

If a friend said to me that they could not leave the house as they had covid/another illness and could I drop them in a few bits amounting to £4/6 I would not hesitate to do so and would not even thinking about asking for money back?! I believe that if the situation was reversed, they would do the same?!

Unless the friend is hard up, had to travel a distance to get to you or you are constantly asking for things, I think its very tight.

That being said, you have been asked, so you must return the money however ridiculous you think it is...

I would do the same, but I’d also insist on paying for it. No way I’d ask someone to shop for me and then take the stuff for free.

If an amount is so small that it is petty for one party to mention it, it must be equally petty for the other party to care about it.

Different people can have different ideas about what amount of debt is too petty to enforce, but no-one can ever claim someone else is being petty in requiring repayment. If the debt is petty by the debtors standards, then they wouldn't care enough to have even a passing thought about repaying it.

@Dasher789

I am astounded at these responses.

If a friend said to me that they could not leave the house as they had covid/another illness and could I drop them in a few bits amounting to £4/6 I would not hesitate to do so and would not even thinking about asking for money back?! I believe that if the situation was reversed, they would do the same?!

Unless the friend is hard up, had to travel a distance to get to you or you are constantly asking for things, I think its very tight.

That being said, you have been asked, so you must return the money however ridiculous you think it is...

Its not the fact that the its only £6. Its the fact that the OP ASSUMED someone else would just pay for her shopping.

I would have offered to pay the friend and then if they said no worries then all good. But yo dont just assume someone doing you a favour is down with paying aswell, even if they are a lovely person.

You have literally NO idea what their financial situation is now, especially during these times and its pretty shitty to just assume they'd pay without offering- thats basic manners in my book.

@aliceandroo

I agree in theory but the sort of friend who will be offering to drop stuff around is probably doing it for a lot of friends or is willing to get more for you. Therefore it will all add up and really they shouldn't have to pay for you all. Personally I would insist on paying them as would feel uncomfortable calling on them to help if they're using their own money.

This is also a good point- if this friend is shopping for several people who all assume she can just pay then it all adds up doesnt it? then it becomes a pattern where the shopper is just expected to pay all the time.

Its not nice behaviour to assume this when someone is already doing you a favour.

Only read your first post but FGS of course you should pay people back 'only £4K' adds up!

When we were isolating, waiting for test results, I asked one person to get an essential in (milk), I would not have dreamt of asking for crisps and popcorn! They didn’t ask for payment or tell me how much the milks cost, but I immediately transferred £3 to their bank account which was in my saved payees anyway. Very cheeky to ask people to go shopping for you and then not pay them.

It seems there’s 2 positions here

The vast majority of ‘normal’ people

• Ask friend to get some provisions, fully expecting to reimburse them
• Offer to pay as soon as they’re given the items
• Be grateful if the offer of payment is turned down

Cheeky fuckers including the OP

• Ask friend to get some provisions assuming they’ll just pay for them
• Don’t offer to pay when you’re given the items
• Get pissed off that friends direct them to the receipt for reimbursement

I can’t get my head round the fact you’d assume they’d be happy to pay, to the extent you don’t even offer, and, even worse, be so convinced you’re right that you’d start a thread on it

Lots of people would be happy to give these amounts to friends but not if they thought they were having the piss taken out of them and a failure to offer to pay indicates that is the case

YANBU, I would never ask for (or accept) a few quid from a friend

@CrankyFrankie

YANBU, I would never ask for (or accept) a few quid from a friend

Would you judge a friend who just expected you to pay and didn’t offer the money though?

It's irrelevant as to whether you'd offer the goods without accepting payment. I probably wouldn't for a few quid either, depending on how close the friend is / how often I've got stuff for them. That's my prerogative.

What's relevant is whether it's cheeky to just assume somebody is as able to waive payment as I am, and be surprised if payment is requested. The answer to that question is yes, that position IS cheeky. It is never wrong to ask for payment of goods you've bought for somebody else, regardless of whether the person you've bought for would ask for the money if the roles are reversed.

@NoWordForFluffy

It's irrelevant as to whether you'd offer the goods without accepting payment. I probably wouldn't for a few quid either, depending on how close the friend is / how often I've got stuff for them. That's my prerogative.

What's relevant is whether it's cheeky to just assume somebody is as able to waive payment as I am, and be surprised if payment is requested. The answer to that question is yes, that position IS cheeky. It is never wrong to ask for payment of goods you've bought for somebody else, regardless of whether the person you've bought for would ask for the money if the roles are reversed.

Exactly this.

During the first lockdown, a friend of mine set up a group where we would all help each other out. One time I wasn't able to get to the shop for milk or bread, so she dropped some around to me and refused to take payment (around £3). Some weeks later, she and her family had flu, and I got her some basic shopping which I wouldn't let her pay for.
However, I would never expect someone to waive the cost - I don't know what anyone else's financial situation is and it's reasonable to assume that in the current climate, many people are struggling.

Yep. Definitely CF territory!
I probably wouldn't ask for the money back, but I would judge a friend and think bad of them. Purely, because I would always, always offer to reimburse someone who was doing me a favour.

To some extent it's also irrelevant if the purchasing party is well off or not. I could easily afford a fiver for a friend, and there are many friends that I'd happily trot out and buy their stuff and not expect a penny.

However there is a very small number of people I know, where yes I'd absolutely enclose the receipt and expect payment. I have a friend where I chased payment from incidentals of a group holiday of around £20. Primarily because I was the one having the job of booking the ubers and getting my wallet out at the end of the night, why should I pay for it as well ? Turns out this friend is lovely but scatty with money and absolutely generous where she can be, but genuinely doesn't notice that others are dipping into their pockets more than she is.

@MozzchopsThirty

I've had covid for over a week now, been in with 3 dcs, 2 of whom have also tested positive

A few friends have said 'if you need anything just let me know' and I've asked for a few bits.

My friend bought me £6 worth of stuff and said 'the receipt is in the bag can you put it in my account'
My other friend called over last night and I asked if she could bring some crisps & popcorn and she also said it was about £4 the receipt is in the bag

I'm just wondering AIBU to think that dropping £4-£6 worth of shopping off I wouldn't ask for that back off a friend (and I'm not well off, single parent nhs worker)
If it was a £20 shop upwards that would be different

Maybe I'm wrong, AIBU?

So you feel people should pay you for the privilege of doing your shopping for you?

@jelly79

I agree with you OP! My friend was SI before Xmas and I took her some things she needed worth about £10/£15 and no way would I of asked for the money. She offered. I refused

I know she would of done the same for me x

But the OP didnt offer..... thats the entire point

Just have your purse to hand next time when you open the door OP. Its only a quick simple question after your thanks -what do I owe you, cash or bank transfer?- done and dusted, nothing awkward.

If friend does't want to accept at least you've offered, but do not assume and always get in first to offer to pay when you have asked for something.

Also, with all the stuff about essential shopping trips only, your friend might have felt a bit uncomfortable shopping for just crisps and popcorn. I know I've held off going out for treats stuff until I'm buying fresh food too as I'd feel a bit bad shopping for a bar of ch

*chocolate, obviously!

I just couldn’t ask someone to buy me stuff and deliver it and not immediately offer, insist, on paying. The fact they had to ask is so bad. It’s cringe youtself inside out stuff.

And as much as you’re giving it this is about you wouldn’t ask, it’s very very clear you don’t think they should have asked you. And you weren’t offering.

I mean who does that. So it’s not about them asking. It’s about you not offering.

I would certainly offer to pay, no matter how small the price! As others have said, you don't know their financial position, especially during Covid. Put it this way, in normal times would you happily let your friends buy you a meal deal from Tesco without offering to pay them back? Or ask your friend to grab you some snacks of a weekend without paying them back?

Just because Covid is happening doesn't mean usual manners go down the drain. Personally, I'd probably not ask most of my friends to cough up the £4 or £6, but of they were the ones dropping it off then of definitely be offering to reimburse them. They're going out of their way to pick up unnecessary items and deliver it to you!

if I'd
Stupid phone

I would never expect £6/4 back, especially, as you say, THEY asked you first to let them know if you need anything.

You asked them, like they told you to.