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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About friends buying goods during covid?

918 replies

MozzchopsThirty · 22/01/2021 15:40

I've had covid for over a week now, been in with 3 dcs, 2 of whom have also tested positive

A few friends have said 'if you need anything just let me know' and I've asked for a few bits.

My friend bought me £6 worth of stuff and said 'the receipt is in the bag can you put it in my account'
My other friend called over last night and I asked if she could bring some crisps & popcorn and she also said it was about £4 the receipt is in the bag

I'm just wondering AIBU to think that dropping £4-£6 worth of shopping off I wouldn't ask for that back off a friend (and I'm not well off, single parent nhs worker)
If it was a £20 shop upwards that would be different

Maybe I'm wrong, AIBU?

OP posts:
Tehmina23 · 22/01/2021 18:52

Is Op for real??

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/01/2021 18:52

Its one of those funny ones I think.

If it was me that doing the shopping I would say "Oh dont worry, I'll treat you as your poorly!" But.....I would insist to the point of rudeness to pay someone who did the shopping for me!

I personally wont go barmy over anything upto the fiver mark but some people do.

Expect to pay and be thankful if someone treats you.

WhySoSensitive · 22/01/2021 18:52

I can’t afford to wipe my arse so I’d want the money back. And I’m not sorry.

Cam77 · 22/01/2021 18:53

@CokeAndPepsi
I think that’s the culture in some countries, but clearly not the UK 😂

LouLou198 · 22/01/2021 18:53

They are being kind enough to shop for you, I would definitely expect to pay. A friend did the same for me. I needed bread, milk and paracetamol. I asked her for the receipt so I could send her the money. She refused, but it wouldn't have felt right not offering to pay when she had taken the time to bring me what I needed.

UrAWizHarry · 22/01/2021 18:54

You absolutely have to offer to pay it back, regardless of whether you would expect payment if the positions were reversed. Not offering is the height of cheekyfuckwittery.

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/01/2021 18:55

I'm the same. I hate asking favours of people. And in a situation like OP's where I would probably have to ask more than once, I'd probably have to starve if the person refused to take the money the first time. I just wouldn't feel able to ask again.

So I am your close friend, close enough that you can ask me this favour and I say "Please let me treat you, you are going through a tough time and I would like to as its about the only useful thing I can do to help.....but dont expect it when you are up an about again! (said in a jokey way obv)" would you really not ask me again?

Or would you treat me to a little bit of something in return when you were able to get up an about?

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/01/2021 18:56

That said.......if I did more than one lot of shopping then I would accept payment for the second lot because I would hate to feel endebted too.

CountessFrog · 22/01/2021 18:56

I agree OP.

I would dream of letting a friend pay me back £6 for a few bits.

It doesn’t happen often anyway, it I did have a friend isolating just before Xmas. She asked me for milk and bread etc, ironically she’s the tightest person I’ve ever met (and she’s very well off!). I insisted she didn’t need to pay me back and hoped she learned a lesson from it! 😂

CountessFrog · 22/01/2021 18:57

*wouldnt

Cyberattack · 22/01/2021 18:58

I'm wondering if this is a cultural thing? There are plenty of cultures where it would be thought rude to ask for £4 for popcorn - even if you expected to be offered it.

Dagnabit · 22/01/2021 18:59

OP - “aibu for being miffed that my friends asked me to pay for my shopping?”
Mostly everyone - “yabu”
OP - “everyone is so dramatic on this thread”
Hmm

CokeAndPepsi · 22/01/2021 18:59

@raspberryk

Well if it was milk and a loaf of bread no I wouldn’t, but I wouldn’t have even got you popcorn and crisps to be honest but yes I’d have asked for the money!
Why on earth would you refuse an ill friend’s request for crisps and popcorn? I really can’t imagine trying to impose my eating habits on anyone else. How incredibly sanctimonious! Plus if a friend as Covid they can eat what they want!

Some people will stop at nothing to make every situations all about them.

WhenPidgeonsCry · 22/01/2021 19:00

Social norms state that you should offer to pay, they should refuse, you should insist, they should more firmly refuse, you should more firmly insist, and so on until one of you gets sick of the whole thing and gives up.

longestlurkerever · 22/01/2021 19:00

I agree with a pp that I'd much rather pay someone back in this situation even if it's a relatively small amount. My neighbour did this for me in the first lockdown and if she'd refused to be paid back I couldn't have asked again. For the same reason in reverse I'd accept the money back probably.

Lweji · 22/01/2021 19:01

For the love of all that is sacred, OP, when you ask your friends for stuff you should tell them immediately that you will pay for it, and to bring you the receipt, of course. Not wait for them to hand you the stuff first to then offer to pay with the expectation that they will say you don't have to.

I also wouldn't expect them to stand by your door chatting with a person with covid long enough for you to mention paying for the stuff.

Numbergame · 22/01/2021 19:01

Is this a joke? Your friend has gone out of their way to bring you non essential items and you don’t expect to pay them? If anything you should be offering extra to cover their petrol/time/ as a thank you.

randomer · 22/01/2021 19:01

If they are down to their last penny, Ok ask for the money. If not, they are not friends.

HettieMills · 22/01/2021 19:01

I was asking AIBU to be suprised my friends asked for £4 before I'd even said 'what do I owe you'

Maybe they thought you wouldn't offer for some reason so planned their response in advance. Two different friends did this? This may tell you something...🤔

Smallgoon · 22/01/2021 19:03

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA, No really, this is a joke, right?

Calmandmeasured1 · 22/01/2021 19:03

You ask your friends to get you stuff and then don't want to pay for it? You ask them to pick up crisps and popcorn and want them to treat you? You are a CF!

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 22/01/2021 19:05

I'm just wondering AIBU to think that dropping £4-£6 worth of shopping off I wouldn't ask for that back off a friend

At no point have I said I expect shopping for free

Both your quotes. Have you always been an entitled CF? Hmm

NearlyAlwaysOnTime · 22/01/2021 19:05

OP - against the trend of all what everyone else has said - I wouldn't ever ask a friend to pay me back a few pounds for something I picked up for them if they were unwell.

I don't think you're unreasonable for being a little shocked that they're leaving receipts. I would offer to pay them as everyone's situation is different but if I was the friend delivering a few bits I wouldn't expect or want payment! You said you would have offered to pay and I think that's absolutely the right thing as you never know other people's situations!

dazzlinghaze · 22/01/2021 19:06

If I was the friend doing the favour I wouldn't take any money if it was under a tenner. My friends are the same so the money evens out. The only exception would be if it was someone always asking me to pick bits up for them but don't ever do it for me.

Nicknacky · 22/01/2021 19:07

@NearlyAlwaysOnTime Even if you were skint?

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