About friends buying goods during covid?

[MozzchopsThirty]

I've had covid for over a week now, been in with 3 dcs, 2 of whom have also tested positive

A few friends have said 'if you need anything just let me know' and I've asked for a few bits.

My friend bought me £6 worth of stuff and said 'the receipt is in the bag can you put it in my account'
My other friend called over last night and I asked if she could bring some crisps & popcorn and she also said it was about £4 the receipt is in the bag

I'm just wondering AIBU to think that dropping £4-£6 worth of shopping off I wouldn't ask for that back off a friend (and I'm not well off, single parent nhs worker)
If it was a £20 shop upwards that would be different

Maybe I'm wrong, AIBU?

@NuniaBeeswax nice, do you normally refer to other women as 'bitches'?

I wouldn't ask for such a small amount back.

However, I would absolutely insist on paying if it were the other way around.

Very helpful reply I know

@Letseatgrandma but you said 'bitching' because it sounds better /nastier

Lovely

@NuniaBeeswax that's ok you continue to lower yourself

Are you on crack? Pay up!!!

At least I'm not a scrounger expecting free stuff.

@BonnieDundee

I would hate if I was the person being bought the food and the buyer wouldn't tell me how much nor take payment. I'd feel as if I couldn't.ask them again

I'm the same. I hate asking favours of people. And in a situation like OP's where I would probably have to ask more than once, I'd probably have to starve if the person refused to take the money the first time. I just wouldn't feel able to ask again.

4 or 6 pound might be a lot of money to them. I would always offer to pay, I think it would be rude not to and I would feel bad. I probably wouldn't want the money back if I had done the shopping myself but I am lucky to be able to afford to spend 5 pound on a mate.

The people saying they wouldn’t expect to be paid back should be grateful they’re able to absorb the costs of buying food for other people. Not everyone is so fortunate. Staggering lack of imagination on show from some of you.

YABU if you want them to keep doing this for you.

Yabvu

I think it's weird to ask for small amount from friends but accept it's the norm in England and some countries. I prefer a looser reciprocal type agreement with friends.IE I'll get this and let it play out over several years.

I was asking AIBU to be suprised my friends asked for £4 before I'd even said 'what do I owe you'I wouldn't have done it,

Most of our friends wouldn't have had to ask, we would have offered first. That's one of the point you are missing.

It's so weird to start a thread about £4

got the jist of the thread without reading it.

YANBU to not claim that money off other friends in the same situation
YANU to expect others to follow suit

I personally would or would not ask for reimbursement totally dependant on circumstances like my own finances that month/week, whether said friend has asked for a few favours like this etc 4 quid several times adds up

If I was unable to do my own shopping and somebody else had offered to do it for me, the last thing I would expect them to pay for would be popcorn and crisps, especially £4 worth. Actually I would not expect them to pay for any of it unless they offered to. They were willing to do your shopping not pay for it. It's cheeky of you to expect that they should.

Under normal circumstances I would not ask for a few quid unless I was in desperate financial circs myself. I'm wondering though, if I were ill with a potentially quite long term illness then I would probably need a number of 'little shops' done for me, and so then the few quid could easily add up to a significant amount. If my friend had started off not worrying about a few quid, but then had in total spent quite a lot, it's more difficult for them to ask for it. Best to start straight away then.

If you were in bed with flu for instance, then I know you'll be up and about in a week or so and I won't be doing a lot of little shops for you, so no worries. COVID - could be quite a while, esp. if the children are likely to have it too. It all extends the time you're stuck in and needing my help.

I would never expect an ill friend to be worrying about paying me £4-£6 but then again maybe they don’t have much money

@MozzchopsThirty "I was asking AIBU to be suprised my friends asked for £4 before I'd even said 'what do I owe you'".

Well that's not true is it. Your post says

"I'm just wondering AIBU to think that dropping £4-£6 worth of shopping off I wouldn't ask for that back off a friend"

I would save some dignity and stop replying to people now.

Most of our friends wouldn't have had to ask, we would have offered first. That's one of the point you are missing.

excellent point

What if you want/need to ask them to get more things? Would you just expect the first lot to be free or for it to be free every time it was under £20? I would feel uncomfortable not paying, I certainly wouldn't want to ask them again if they did it for free.

I’m with you OP. I would feel awkward expecting a friend to pay me back under £10 — if I’m bringing them snacks while they are ill I’d spend three times that and not expect it back. My friends have done this for me many times and vice versa. We all do it so it all comes out even enough in the end.

Of course you should pay, you want the stuff and therefore need to pay up, I think you are cheeky thinking your friends should pay.

Pay them back

It depends on the individual and their circumstances, surely?

I wouldn't ask a friend to pay me back 6 quid. But if a friend did ask me to, I'd be happy to do so because they're my friend and the fact that they asked means they obviously want/need the money back.

I guess the point is that if I can afford to happily spend £6 on a friend, then I can also afford to happily pay back a friend for £6 of food.