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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About friends buying goods during covid?

918 replies

MozzchopsThirty · 22/01/2021 15:40

I've had covid for over a week now, been in with 3 dcs, 2 of whom have also tested positive

A few friends have said 'if you need anything just let me know' and I've asked for a few bits.

My friend bought me £6 worth of stuff and said 'the receipt is in the bag can you put it in my account'
My other friend called over last night and I asked if she could bring some crisps & popcorn and she also said it was about £4 the receipt is in the bag

I'm just wondering AIBU to think that dropping £4-£6 worth of shopping off I wouldn't ask for that back off a friend (and I'm not well off, single parent nhs worker)
If it was a £20 shop upwards that would be different

Maybe I'm wrong, AIBU?

OP posts:
islockdownoveryet · 22/01/2021 18:13

@MozzchopsThirty

Where did I say my shopping should be free??? Or I'm entitled to a free shop???? Or I haven't taken my friends financial situation into account????

Dear god for a bunch on women to call another woman a 'cheeky fucker' several times on a hardly terrible thread, that says a lot about you!!!

I have paid, I didn't expect anything for free, but I wouldn't have asked if things were the other way round
That was the point of the thread, would you ask for £4????

I guess most of you would, and I wouldn't
But there is no need to keep repeating cheeky fucker, which I am not.

The thing is op it obviously did annoy you enough to start a thread . I’m not saying you do this often but most people are quite happy to buy a few bits for a friend and say pay me whenever, but if it was constantly happening then it can get tiresome and a bit cf . There has been threads numerous times on here before . £4 here £ 6 there etc adds up so yes I agree some rude comments on here but it’s extremely cf to expect anything for free and that’s exactly what you have done . You deny it but you Seam perplexed that someone would ask for £4 well why wouldn’t they . Hey if your the sort of person who treats friends and says don’t worry about the money and they don’t then the other way round that’s different. Can you honestly say that’s happened though , have bought things for friends but not asked for the money ? You just say you would do that’s not the same and how would they know that ? .
Raaaaaaarr · 22/01/2021 18:14

No I wouldn't ask for the money personally.

Norwayreally · 22/01/2021 18:15

I wouldn’t ask for it back personally but I also wouldn’t expect to get free things from a friend so YABU.

Banana0pancakes · 22/01/2021 18:16

I think op is probably just generous and surprised that others aren't the same.

I would take my friends treats if they were ill and not expect payment for it. I'd do it because they were having a shit time and could do with cheering up.

SeasonFinale · 22/01/2021 18:17

I wouldn't ask for money from a good friend but I might ask for it from someone who continually toolk the piss, didn't get their round in and ordered expensive stuff on menus when others weren't. I guess it depends what kind of friend they consider you to be.

Letseatgrandma · 22/01/2021 18:19

So, your friends kindly did your shopping and put the receipt in the bag. You think they shouldn’t have done this and they should have not mentioned money, so then you would ask how much it cost and then they would say, ‘oh £6’ to which you would reply-‘ok, I’ll pay you’ or they would reply, ‘oh don’t worry-it wasn’t much, forget about it’ (your preferred option).

They did one thing, you would have preferred they did other things but you didn’t tell them what you preferred, you are just cross they don’t think exactly the same as you and you are now bitching about them online.

Nice.

Hotzenplotz · 22/01/2021 18:19

@Banana0pancakes

I think op is probably just generous and surprised that others aren't the same.

I would take my friends treats if they were ill and not expect payment for it. I'd do it because they were having a shit time and could do with cheering up.

As would I, and probably plenty of others here.

I'd still offer to pay for my own stuff were it the other way round. Hmm

Constantfacepalm · 22/01/2021 18:20

OP, I'm on your side here. You are surprised because its not what you (or I) would have done which - it appears - would have been to say don't worry about it/you can get me a drink one day etc.
I'm like this with all of my friends. And they are the same. It all comes out in the wash. (FWIW I always offer money, never assume - but it's never taken.)

MaryLoopyLoo · 22/01/2021 18:20

I'm shielding. I don't like asking people to do a big shops for me but do sometimes people to collect £5 - £10 if they offer.

Most, if not all have said not to bother paying them back. I have paid each and everyone of them back because I'm not a piss taker.

oakleaffy · 22/01/2021 18:21

My goodness!

You want FreeFood??
From a friend?? Surely this is a wind up post?

Single parents have to pay their way like everyone else! We aren't ''Charity cases''...Have a bit of respect for yourself and your friends.

Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 22/01/2021 18:21

@Letseatgrandma sorry where was I 'bitching'?

OP posts:
Scarby9 · 22/01/2021 18:21

Since the start of the first lockdown I have shopped for myself and for three other households. Now two of those have regular online deliveries for their big shop so Ì just top them up with bits in between.

I also buy odd things (half a dozen eggs, a cake, some potatoes, bread and milk etc) for random others eg. in response to them saying they had run out of something just before I put in an online order from our baker or made a trip to the local farm egg shack. They do the same for me if they eg. go to the local farmers' market.

If I didn't take money, I would genuinely be massively out of pocket by now. Hundreds and hundreds of pounds. Thousands even.

So I now go against my inbuilt response of 'No, no!' and do as your friends did. I just put the receipt in the bag. Generally, we build up the debt over a few weeks, then transfer money on line. The one household that does not shop on line can only offer cheques, so we are waiting until the end of the pandemic...

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 22/01/2021 18:22

Just remember that people who don't ask for money might very well never offer again if you take the piss once.

It's interesting that BOTH friends had to make a point the receipt was in the bag.

Branleuse · 22/01/2021 18:23

Surely it depends how well off you all are and how close friends you are.
If ive bought anything for people theyve always offered me the money whether i ask or not. I dont mind doing favours for people, but id notice if they never offered to pay bavk

PurpleDaisies · 22/01/2021 18:23

It's interesting that BOTH friends had to make a point the receipt was in the bag.

And that both friends asked before the op had chance to offer to pay.

Lindy2 · 22/01/2021 18:23

My friends are collecting our shopping but I'm paying for it before they collect it. The only thing I haven't been able to pay for online is the 2 packets of paracetamol a friend went and bought for us. I'll offer her payment once we're through this. I think it's only about £1 and I doubt she'll want any germ covered cash from us right now.

I'm grateful my friends are all offering help. I don't intend to take advantage of them financially though. Why on earth would I.

Beautiful3 · 22/01/2021 18:25

I wouldn't ask for money for a loaf of bread and milk, or for a cheap single item £1-2. But if it was any more, then I would ask for the money. Why do you begrudge paying for things, you've specifically asked for? You have nice friends, repay what you owe them to keep a healthy friendship.

Butchyrestingface · 22/01/2021 18:25

Whyyyyyy did you not enable voting, OP? My YABU finger is twitching so hard!

rowlandsden · 22/01/2021 18:26

I wouldn't ask for any money if you were my friend.

Rosieredapples · 22/01/2021 18:26

You don't know how many other people your friends might be picking things up for, why should they be out of pocket?
It's unfortunate that you have Covid, our whole house had it too and family and friends were helpful picking things up for us, I wouldn't have dreamed of not paying them, especially since they had all gone out of their way to help us. You sound really entitled in this post.

PurpleDaisies · 22/01/2021 18:26

@rowlandsden

I wouldn't ask for any money if you were my friend.
Would you judge for them not expecting to pay though? I would.
Spied · 22/01/2021 18:27

I'd absolutely expect the money. I'd actually be expecting it to be put on the doorstep when I dropped off the food or a bank transfer.
It's very telling that they both mentioned the money. Almost like they knew if it wasn't mentioned that you would not offer to pay.

NuniaBeeswax · 22/01/2021 18:28

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
MozzchopsThirty · 22/01/2021 18:29

Oh my goodness this is tiresome

I'm not bitching
I'm not expecting free stuff
I'm not a cheeky fucker
I've paid for everything
I don't think I'm special because I work in the nhs

I was asking AIBU to be suprised my friends asked for £4 before I'd even said 'what do I owe you'
I wouldn't have done it, I appreciate many of you would

That's ok IABU

OP posts:
Letseatgrandma · 22/01/2021 18:30

[quote MozzchopsThirty]@Letseatgrandma sorry where was I 'bitching'?[/quote]
Complaining, then.

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