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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About friends buying goods during covid?

918 replies

MozzchopsThirty · 22/01/2021 15:40

I've had covid for over a week now, been in with 3 dcs, 2 of whom have also tested positive

A few friends have said 'if you need anything just let me know' and I've asked for a few bits.

My friend bought me £6 worth of stuff and said 'the receipt is in the bag can you put it in my account'
My other friend called over last night and I asked if she could bring some crisps & popcorn and she also said it was about £4 the receipt is in the bag

I'm just wondering AIBU to think that dropping £4-£6 worth of shopping off I wouldn't ask for that back off a friend (and I'm not well off, single parent nhs worker)
If it was a £20 shop upwards that would be different

Maybe I'm wrong, AIBU?

OP posts:
JoggingNovice · 22/01/2021 17:28

"But I must admit before me and my mates discovered this, it did feel really odd asking them to pay back e.g. 30p for a bag of carrots"

But I should add, this had actually come up in conversation amongst us before and we'd all decided then that this was the best way of approaching it.
It could be different between different groups of friends
and if one of us just asked for essentials then whoever did the buying would probably put a cheer up treat in the bag too (and obviously not charge for that)

Benjispruce2 · 22/01/2021 17:31

Yabu especially asking people to bring g you crisps! Hardly essential!

Fieldofyellowflowers · 22/01/2021 17:34

I can't believe you are trying to imply that your friends are unreasonable for asking to be repaid. If a friend bought me a 75p bag of pasta I wouldn't think they were being unreasonable to ask to be paid back.

And you asked your friend to bring popcorn and crisps so presumably she had to go to the shop to get these non-essential items.

DietrichandDiMaggio · 22/01/2021 17:34

If I was the friend I would expect you to ask how much you owed, but I would tell you not to worry if it was only a few quid, so under £10.

saraclara · 22/01/2021 17:35

Why did you start this thread if you weren't slightly peeved that they expected you to pay for your own shopping, OP?
You're now saying you didn't expect to get the shopping for free, but if that was the case, what on earth did you post about?

amysaurus87 · 22/01/2021 17:38

Why on earth would you expect it for free? YABVU.

FinallyFluid · 22/01/2021 17:38

I wouldn't expect to be repaid if it was a one off, but I would appreciate the offer to pay.

Metallicalover · 22/01/2021 17:40

If someone has gone shopping for you, then you need to pay.
They've gone out their way to buy something for you and drop it off and you want it for free.

If someone bought something for me I would like to pay my way! It doesn't feel right.
Or you maybe one of those friends that takes and takes. This is just one side of the story

Benjispruce2 · 22/01/2021 17:41

When friends say they’ll get you anything that you need, you do know that they mean important things such as food for meals, perhaps pharmacy items etc? They are doing the favour by putting themselves at risk for you. Your duty is to only ask for what you truly need and to pay for it. If they then say not to, that’s their choice.

Gwenhwyfar · 22/01/2021 17:43

@Redshoeblueshoe

FFS you've got covid, and your asking your mates to pop round with treats. If I wrote what I'm actually thinking I'd probably get banned 🚫
Why shouldn't somebody with Covid have some treats if they're up to eating them?
makingmammaries · 22/01/2021 17:43

Horrible to criticize your friends for wanting to be repaid for the shopping they kindly fetched for you. They offered help, not free food. I would insist on paying in those circumstances and if someone made it easy by putting the receipt in the bag, I’d be glad.

Gwenhwyfar · 22/01/2021 17:44

@DietrichandDiMaggio

If I was the friend I would expect you to ask how much you owed, but I would tell you not to worry if it was only a few quid, so under £10.
I think I would too. I'd say you can buy me a drink or two when you're better, but if the friends are hard up that's different of course.
Benjispruce2 · 22/01/2021 17:44

OP if you want something specific why don’t you order online?

Babymamaroon · 22/01/2021 17:45

Well I don't think YABU but that's because I've concluded you know your friends well enough to know that £4-6 is a paltry amount to them.

If you know different and they're struggling then of course YABU.

Chanjer · 22/01/2021 17:45

I wouldn't personally have billed a good friend for a few quid worth of things, but other people I know, sometimes the same people I might give things free to, would bill me.

How people deal with money is up to them.

Staffy1 · 22/01/2021 17:46

I wouldn't expect a friend to pay it back for small amounts like that.

Brainwave89 · 22/01/2021 17:46

Wow... they looked after your shopping and you do not want to pay for it? Quite incredibly unreasonable. Organise an online shop (where you will pay for delivery) and be thankful for the good friends you have in the interim.

Nicknacky · 22/01/2021 17:47

@Staffy1 Even if you were broke? It’s the end of January and can be a long month as many people are paid earlier in December.

Gwenhwyfar · 22/01/2021 17:47

@Benjispruce2

When friends say they’ll get you anything that you need, you do know that they mean important things such as food for meals, perhaps pharmacy items etc? They are doing the favour by putting themselves at risk for you. Your duty is to only ask for what you truly need and to pay for it. If they then say not to, that’s their choice.
How do you know? It wouldn't bother me to get some treats for someone who was ill. Depending on how far away they live, of course.
C152 · 22/01/2021 17:50

I haven't read the whole thread, but If I offered to help a friend by getting some groceries, I wouldn't expect them to pay me back unless, as you say, it's more than £20. (And I'm out of work at the moment.)

However, I have previously been in situations where every penny counted and there were literally none to spare, so I guess they may be really struggling financially.

butterpuffed · 22/01/2021 17:51

Why would your friends give you goods for free ?

If you do a small shop you wouldn't expect them to say 'It's under a fiver so no need to pay ' at the checkout.

What's the difference, it's money you owe.

Fieldofyellowflowers · 22/01/2021 17:52

@Gwenhwyfar If a friend asks if there is something you want from the shops, there is nothing wrong with asking for crisps and popcorn as long as there are actual essential items such as bread/milk etc that you want them to pick up. Expecting someone to just buy popcorn and crisps when going to a shop carries the risk of them being exposed to covid is just cheeky and unreasonable. And it is unreasonable to expect that person to pay for them as well.

OverTheRainbow88 · 22/01/2021 17:53

I would pay, but I wouldn’t ask friends for money for a few squid, but then they wouldn’t ask me.

It can add up though, I’ve been buying my mum the odd thing now when out shopping since March.... it’s probs in its 100s now!! But that’s different as it’s my mum I guess!

Gwenhwyfar · 22/01/2021 17:53

"Expecting someone to just buy popcorn and crisps when going to a shop carries the risk of them being exposed to covid is just cheeky and unreasonable."

Surely, they'd be buying something for themselves as well. I wouldn't expect them to do a trip just for me even if it was bread and milk.

CatNoBag · 22/01/2021 17:56

I would never have asked or taken money from you, but at the same time I would have offered money if I were in your shoes and not been offended if asked for money back. I suppose it depends on what your friends' financial situation is.

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