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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child in the supermarket?

512 replies

Whipituntilitpeaks · 22/01/2021 08:51

Just curious, do you take your child/children with you when you go food shopping?
I’m currently a Sahm to my toddler Dd and always used go go early on a Monday morning, when barely anyone was there.
During the first lockdown, we stopped going and Dp would go on a Saturday morning.
Dp works Mon-Fri and often was there for hours queuing up etc, but back then he was the only one of us that went out (aside from walks in our field)
When it calmed down a little, I went back to doing it with my Dd, do you take yours?
For us, it helps dp as he obviously doesn’t mind at all, but after a long week at work, it’s not fun to do the big shop. It’s also some kind of normality in mine and DD’s life, but I’ve started to feel a bit worried about it. We’re not in the U.K. but cases are around the same number one more or less and some of my friends don’t take theirs into any shops
Aibu to still take her shopping or should dp or myself go alone on the weekend?

OP posts:
namitynamechange · 22/01/2021 09:58

I take my child. I am a single parent, I cant do just online shopping because a standard week shop for just the 2 of us doesnt reach the spending limit where we are. I try to reduce my shop visits to as little as possible but everyone should be doing that.
Also the people saying "why dont these people who have to bring their kids just do an online shop". Why Dont YOU just do online shopping and then you wont have to worry about what others are doing

HexWitch · 22/01/2021 09:58

Of course I do. I'm a single parent with no other option. I also think it's done my DC the world of good to have done tiny semblance of normalcy in their lives.

movingonup20 · 22/01/2021 09:59

I went with my dp yesterday to Sainsbury's (he bought food, I was after leggings as I had a hole in both my pairs before anyone moans), supermarket was really empty. I strongly suggest going in the afternoon not the morning as it's far quieter. Earlier this week I nipped for milk and bread, I was literally the only customer in Lidl st 3pm

Lippyheaven · 22/01/2021 09:59

Ladywinesalot

It’s amazing at how many ppl think that it’s the supermarkets that spread co

Ok then, I’ll tell that to my friends, whose husband works in the supermarkets but is in intensive care at the moment. 48 years.

Lippyheaven · 22/01/2021 10:00

namitynamechange

I take my child. I am a single parent, I cant do just online shopping because a standard week shop for just the 2 of us doesnt reach the spending limit where we are. I try to reduce my shop visits to as little as possible but everyone should be doing that.

Calm down, no one is talking about single parents here

bumblingbovine49 · 22/01/2021 10:01

The advice to go at the weekend when it is much busier is absolutely bonkers on here. People who go at the weekend go because they can't avoid the crowds because they wirk.

Absolutely go at a quieter time if you can, even if it means taking your toddler with you (assuming she is a toddler that is reasonably ok in supermarkets,). Your contacts will be massively reduced if you shop at a quiet time. Ideally you would leave your toddler at home if you could but if that does not work, it absolutely is better to take her early on Monday than to send you DP at a weekend

The responses on that are saying taking one well behaved toddler shopping at a very quiet time is worse than one adult shopping when is very busy and crowded with long queues are evidence of how rubbish people are at assessing risks appropriately

tatutata · 22/01/2021 10:01

This is complete madness. Take your kid to the supermarket. It is the only normal thing left in their lives and I can't see any particular risk increase to anyone. All it does is reduce the number of paying customers in store at the same time, which supermarkets don't like, which is why in the UK they said no kids if possible.

apalledandshocked · 22/01/2021 10:01

I cant tell you how much I am looking forward to just walking round the shops by myself when the schools do reopen (they have been of school/daycare where I live for 6 weeks straight already)

MadameBlobby · 22/01/2021 10:03

No but mine are 12 and 14. When they were younger I had to take them as my husband worked long days and weekends. Or my husband would shop but still have to take them as he was off when I was at work.

movingonup20 · 22/01/2021 10:03

The only thing I would say is if any of you have older (not sitting in the trolley sized) kids, bribe them to hold onto the trolley. There's been incidences recently where primary aged (8 ish) aged kids are running or using those heely shoes) up and down aisles and parents said nothing, this is risking the other customers far more than a toddler in a trolley or well behaved kid holding on.

flytterbugsdog · 22/01/2021 10:03

@Lippyheaven yes, but to be fair a happily married SAHM whose partner works long hours is in a similar position regarding shopping, Yes they could go in the evening/weekend when their partner is back but that is just contributing to the crowds at that time. I think most parents you see shopping with their children, married or single, are probably doing their best.

Ladywinesalot · 22/01/2021 10:05

@OnlyFoolsnMothers It’s a sad state of affairs that a little pick up for a DC is a supermarket outing, but unfort it’s all they have.

These same childless preachers will also berate us Mothers for not ensuring the DCs mental health has been looked after.

@sunshineandshowers21 I’d also take it with a pinch of salt of what a lot of these Covid Pearl clutchers are claiming, they prob still having Sunday dinner at their Mum’s house and havnt washed their hands since 1998 Grin

Same4Walls · 22/01/2021 10:06

The advice to go at the weekend when it is much busier is absolutely bonkers on here.

It's mad isn't it!

It's like some people see the word child and automatically warning signs and alarms go off in their head as they rush to post that shopping with a child is huge risk and it makes the trip soooo much more dangerous.

When in reality taking the toddler at a quiet time even if it means 2 of you going instead of 1 person makes so much more sense.

bumblingbovine49 · 22/01/2021 10:06

The thing is people are obsessed with making sure their children are not exposed but if you send an adult out into a very exposed situation and that adult comes back infected the child is very likely to get ill as well.

The most sensible course is to reduce contacts as much as possible for the household overall. That is the most efficient way of protecting everyone.

So if you can ,shop when it is quieter, if you can leave you children at home purely because shopping is probably quicker without them but if you can't do both of these things, I'd judge that the first is the most important.

AndcalloffChristmas · 22/01/2021 10:07

I get an online shop.

But in a way I think it’s more sense for you to have two people go when it’s quiet than one person when it’s rammed. Less exposure overall.

Alternatively you could go on Saturday and then both you and DP are doing something different to your day job?

Ladywinesalot · 22/01/2021 10:08

@Lippyheaven Oh calm down, you don’t know where he caught Covid from.

Also Supermarkets for shoppers are NOT the main spreaders, workplaces and household mixing are.

These deaths coming through this month are from Christmas mixing!!

Whoopsies · 22/01/2021 10:11

Only if we need to. DH works out the home sometimes doing shifts from 7am-2am. If we need something I pop out with the kids. Our local supermarket is small and quiet. We shop at Lidl so an online shop would be more expensive and we can't afford to spend any more on food! I avoid it as best I can though. My neighbour is great and always texts when going to the shops to check if we need milk/bread etc

Markies · 22/01/2021 10:11

I have no option but to sometimes. My husband will get next to no notice that’s he will be working away for up to 5 weeks at a time. Can’t get delivery slots, we don’t have Ocado so yeah my one year old will come with me.

Marzipan12 · 22/01/2021 10:12

Supermarkets are workplaces @Lippyheaven

TempsPerdu · 22/01/2021 10:13

Yes I do take toddler DD and have no qualms whatsoever about it. DP is mask exempt (as in genuinely medically exempt - trigeminal neuralgia) so it’s easier for me to go than him risking abuse from the self-proclaimed mask police. But during the week I’m in sole charge of DD while DP is WFH so if we run out of milk etc and I need to shop she inevitably comes too.

We can never get an online delivery slot ourselves so rely on SIL, who is entitled to a priority one as a teacher - we add our groceries to her order each week and she drops them off, but we always need to do at least one small top-up shop during the week.

We try to use small specialist shops rather than supermarkets wherever possible, always sanitise etc and will always try to go at quieter times. I also think it’s good for DD’s development to see and chat to people in shops - I refuse to send her to school next year having no knowledge and experience of the wider world. The staff in our local shops know DD and enjoy seeing her, she chats to them, uses social niceties like ‘Hello’, ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’, knows about different types of shops, how a shopping transaction works etc. Lots of children starting at school this and next year won’t have had those small, normal experiences and I feel sad for them being so detached from the world.

Chessie678 · 22/01/2021 10:14

There are lots of kids in the supermarkets mid week when I go so I think this is probably a non issue outside mumsnet. It’s much quieter then than at the weekend and I never have to queue. I take my 10m old partly just to give him an experience outside the house which is a bit sad.

pinbinpin · 22/01/2021 10:15

If your husband has been advise dto shield he can get a priority slot. You could leave the toddler with him in his lunch break surely!

randomsabreuse · 22/01/2021 10:16

I take my toddler who happily sits in the trolley, but since my 5 yo has been home I've avoided taking so evening and weekends only.

AmoElCafe · 22/01/2021 10:16

Yes I take my 2 year old. He sits in the trolley, doesn’t touch anything and it’s probably the most fun he has all week. He doesn’t really know the outside world exists apart from walks round the village and a trip to the supermarket.

Lovemusic33 · 22/01/2021 10:17

I don’t. I think the only reason to take a child with you would be if you are single parent and your child’s to young to leave at home (pretty impossible not too). Luckily I have delivery slots but when I don’t I have to leave my kids at home, luckily they are old enough to left for an hour.